I Love You Whether It's Wrong or Right
by CaskettCupcake
Summary: Castle & Beckett get together after four years of dancing around their obvious feelings. Just when everything is perfect, they go on an undercover mission which causes Kate to get into a plane crash. She has amnesia. Lucas (their son) is kidnapped for ransom, causing Castle and Beckett to have to try and do everything they can to get him back home.
1. Chapter 1: Every Time I See You

**Chapter 1: Every Time I See You**

This chapter is inspired by a Luke Bryan song, you may not like country music but, hey, if you like it or want to give it a try then go listen to it. 

* * *

**(This entire chapter is in 3rd person POV)**

He sat down in his chair next to the wooden desk and handed her the usual coffee she received from him every morning.

She gave him a slight smile, "Thanks, Castle."

She looked back down at her papers, bringing her eyebrows together. Beckett had been looking through the papers all week, constantly trying to crack the Melvin Anderson case.

He was a younger white male who was in the Bronx Zoo when they found him.

He had blood all over his shirt, tears in his jeans, and his lips were stitched together.

There was no way that someone could stitch someone's lips together and be so good at it that Lanie couldn't find strong evidence.

They did, however, find a waiter who says Anderson walked into the diner at eleven-thirty the night he was murdered.

She continued wandering her eyes over the paper, putting the pieces together like a puzzle but, it wasn't working.

Castle was staring at her.

Admiring the beautiful features of her face and the small pout on her lips as he noticed she couldn't fit the pieces together.

He chuckled and shook his head.

Beckett snapped out of her thoughts and immediately gave him a famous what's-so-funny look. "Why are you laughing, Castle?"  
He didn't notice that he disrupted her train of thought but he gave a smile, "Nothing. Just something I thought about…dealing with the case." So the last part wasn't a total lie.

She stared at him blankly, waiting for him to give a theory as to who could've killed Anderson.

His eyebrows rose slightly. He didn't exactly know what to say so, he made a wild theory up quickly.

"Uh, well..." he cleared his throat, "You've seen the Saw movies. What if that's what happened? Obviously not with Jigsaw but, a sick serial killer who found people killing each other amusing because of something bad that they did. So," she cut him off before he could continue.

"Castle, that sounds extremely irration—" he lifted his hand up to stop her from continuing.

"Beckett, instead of cutting me off, let me finish because we both know that some of my theories can help us out.

She nodded and sighed "Okay, continue."

He gave a small smile and continued going on about his theory. "Well, like I was saying, what if...what if there's more to it than what we're seeing? What if he's targeting a group of people? Are there any other who have died the way he did? Maybe, just maybe, Lanie missed something. A engraving or something. We should go check with her! You know, she might have new evidence to get a lead!"

She shook her head, "Castle, first off, slow down with the questions. Second, I'm positive that there is no other evidence that would link us to a serial killer who acts like 'Jigsaw'." She made sure to put her own air quotation marks to emphasize the stupidity of his theory.

"Beckett!" Esposito jogged over to them with Ryan on his heels.

She turned her head to look up at them with a quizzical look. "Esposito, Ryan, what's up? Did you get a lead?"

"We might, the person we have might know something. We should bring him in for questioning. The photo is pretty suspicious." Ryan handed her the file showing a picture of a young black kid around the age of twenty two. He was standing next to the entrance of the zoo before Melvin was killed. Esposito pointed at the picture, "It was around three o'clock in the morning when he was just standing there. Lanie says that Melvin was probably killed an hour earlier but, nobody saw anyone go into that zoo yet, he was the only one there."

"Well, what are we sitting around for? Do you know his name? Espo, please tell me you have something, anything, as to who this kid is."

"That's the problem. We don't know who he is. We're trying to figure that out right now but, it'll take a couple hours." Ryan nodded and went back to his desk, trying to find anything that would tell them who the man was.

"Well, Castle, let's get going. We're going around the Bronx to see if anyone knows who he might be." Beckett got up, grabbed her coffee and walked towards the elevator.

He sat still staring at her walk away with a smile plastered on his lips. Esposito stared at him with a grin. "Aye, Castle I hope you know we can all see you, too much on your mind?" Ryan started chuckling and shook his head.

Castle got up quickly, with an awkward chuckle and jogged to catch up with Beckett waiting for the elevator.

* * *

"You know, I think I've seen him around. He was walking around here this morning. I was walking my dog and out of nowhere I see this kid run past me with a duffle bag in his hands. He bumped into me and when he turned to look at me, he was pretty shaken up. He apologized and kept running. He looked suspicious but after that my dog here," she point down at the brown and white bulldog, "started chasing after a squirrel so, I forgot about the kid and tried calling my dog down. That's all that I really know." She gave a look of disappointment; she knew she couldn't help with anything else.

"Thank you for your help, Ms. Miller. If you see any strange activity or see him around, please call." Beckett handed her a card and started walking off.

"Maybe we should check around the zoo, see if anyone there saw him?" Castle grabbed the photo and stopped Beckett, "Why would he make it so easy on us? There is no way he would kill someone and leave us here with a photo at hand. Maybe he's not our killer but, knows something important?" Beckett stared up at him, shook her head and kept walking.

"Castle, we need to find him regardless. Maybe he's thought he'd get away with it. He could in fact be our killer and the only way we'll find out is if we find him. Let's go."

* * *

Ryan's eyes shot up to Esposito sitting at his desk "Espo, I think I found something. We just got something for Beckett. The kid that was at the zoo, his name is Marcus Bryan. He works at a bodega five miles away from the crime scene. We have a match. Call Beckett and tell her." Esposito grabbed his cell phone out and texted Beckett.

_Esposito: We have a match! Marcus Bryan. He works at the bodega five miles away from the crime scene. Go check it out. _

Beckett looked down at the phone that was vibrating in her coat pocket and read it. "We found a match to our suspect. His name is Marcus Bryan." She turned the car around swiftly and drove off towards the bodega.

Castle looked at Beckett as they reached a stop light. His eyes wandered, taking in every inch of her face. From the arch of her eyebrows to the way her lips poked out slightly trying to figure out how she was going to find this suspect. God, she was beautiful. He couldn't bring himself to stop himself from staring at her dumbfounded. She started to hide a smile and slowly turned her head to glance over at him. He tore his eyes from her face and quickly looked straight ahead. He hoped she wouldn't have noticed the way he was staring at her less than thirty seconds ago.

"Castle, do I have something on my face or were you just captivated by my beauty?" She teased.

His eyes shot a look towards her and gave an warm smile, "No." He then realized that maybe that wasn't the best reply because he seemed like he just said she wasn't beautiful. "I mean, you're beautiful, Kate. I was just, uh, you know, thinking about that one dude….with that thing." He was making himself sound so stupid and he felt like everything he said would either cause her to kick him out of the car for staring at her every second or get himself shot.

"Castle, calm down, I was just messing with you." She parked the car and gave him a signature eye roll. "Anyway, we're here." She unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of the car, heading into the bodega to question some people that worked there.

* * *

"Boss, I am so sorry I'm late but," Marcus came in during Beckett asking Marcus' boss a couple questions as to where he might've been. Marcus looked up and saw Castle tap Beckett's shoulder. His eyes went wide, filled with fear. He turned around and bolted towards the door; knocking down an older male in the process. Castle ran after him without even thinking about how Beckett would react. Marcus turned the corner and continued running while knocking trash bins over. He was trying to slow Castle down, who was right on his heels now. Marcus ran across the street dodging the speeding cars. Castle followed, almost getting hit by a yellow mustang going ten miles over the speed limit. The cops should really crack down on that over here. Marcus was still heading down the road but was soon heading into an alley. Castle slid across the top of a pickup truck and chased after him like something you'd see is 'Die Hard'. Marcus reached a dead end, turned around and lifted his fist up as Castle slowed down to stop him. "Stop!" Marcus ran up to Castle faster than an Olympic runner and swung his arm to hit Castle in the jaw. Castle bent down to avoid the impact that the punch would've done. Beckett ran up to them just as Castle went back up.

"NYPD, stop where you are and get on the ground now!" She raised her gun to point towards the now terrified young man. Just before she walked towards him getting on the ground, he swung once more, causing Castle to stumble back slightly holding his now bleeding nose. Marcus got on the ground allowing Beckett to handcuff him and haul him off to Esposito and Ryan, who were right next to their cop cruisers.

"Fuck," Castle held his nose between his hands and mumbled something under his breath. Beckett handed Marcus over to Esposito making sure to tell him that she wanted him to be questioned and that she wanted to be the one to do it. Esposito nodded and took Marcus towards the car telling him his rights.

"Come on, Castle." She grabbed his arm and dragged him to the car. Once they got in she buckled her seatbelt and started driving. "What the hell were you thinking, Castle?" She gave him a death glare from the corner of her eye and clutched onto the wheel hard enough to make her knuckles turn white.

"Kate..." She then again gave him a death glare, cut a corner and sped up. "I stopped him from getting away! The least you could do is thank me!"

"Castle, you are _not_ a cop! You're shadowing me. You're _my_ responsibility and you could've got hurt. What then, Castle?"

He could see that she was beyond irate so he kept quiet and held his nose while trying to stop the bleeding. The blood from his nose was on his dress shirt already. Beckett turned one last corner and stopped the car. She dragged him out of the car once more and went up to her apartment. Her silence was starting to worry him as she opened the door to her apartment and he followed. She placed her keys down on the counter and went into the kitchen to grab a rag. He took off his coat and tried to see if the bleeding had stopped in the mirror. She strolled over to him slowly with the rag in her hands. He turned to look at her with a hand over his still bleeding nose.

"Put your hand down." She grabbed his wrist and Castle let his arms fall down to his side. She cupped his face with one hand as she rubbed the blood stained on his face off gently. She grabbed the tissue that was in her pocket and torn a piece off to stick in his nose. That would cause the bleeding to stop. She continued rubbing the blood off the areas around his mouth. He stared at her face while she continued to rub the rest of the blood from his chin. Her eyes wandered up to stare into his ocean blue eyes. Her hand slowly left his face and went limp around his neck.

"Rick, please don't do that anymore. You know that if he would've had a gun that he would've shot you. Let me do my job. You can't keep getting into trouble." He nodded understandingly and noticed the amount of emotion in her voice. Without thinking his hand took her hand from his neck and intertwined their hands. She looked down at them questioning what he was doing. When she looked up his face was a mere inch away from hers. She could smell the sweet and tangy cologne come off of him and hit her nostrils. He brushed his lips on hers and began to kiss her. Kate let her walls down for a minute, and let her arms drop the rag, and tangle her fingers in his hair; caressing the back of his neck. His tongue ran across her bottom lip asking for an entrance. She moaned softly and allowed his tongue to wrestle with her own. He pulled her into him, their bodies matched perfectly.

Beckett wanted to continue going but she knew that if she continued to kiss him she'd end up hurting him. She pulled back as fast as she could, turned and walked into the kitchen while running her hands through her hair. She sighed and leaned against the counter. Rick walked up to her and she placed a hand on his chest, keeping him at an arm distance away. He looked into her eyes, searching for anything he could find. "Kate?" She looked down at his chest, not daring to glance up at his face. If she saw the look in her eyes she'd lose all control and break down. She didn't need to do that, especially not with Richard Castle in front of her.

"Castle, we need to get back down to the precinct." She again walked off to the door with her keys in her hand. Castle sighed and closed the door before she could open it and head down the stairs.

"Kate, stop this. You can't keep ignoring this. Look at what just happened! You're seriously going to act like it never happened? Beckett, don't do this to me." He continued to stare at her even though she wouldn't meet his eyes. She was avoiding him and he knew the answers to his question. She was never going to let her walls down for him to get in.

She finally looked into his eyes and the hurt was smacked clear on his face. His arm left the door and dangled at his side. She turned, opened the door and walked out, making sure to allow him to step out into the hall and lock her door. "Marcus Bryan needs to be questioned. We don't have time to talk about this." Castle watched her walk away. He couldn't believe that she had just been shoving her tongue down his throat and now she was leaving him in the hall with his heart thumping in his chest, not only because that was beyond the best kiss he's ever had but, because she just ripped his heart out, stomped on it and left him there feeling lost. "I love you." He whispered as she walked down the steps. He may have not said it to her face but, could you blame him? Her mixed signals were making him self-conscious and he didn't want to see how she'd react to those three words when she couldn't even talk to him about a kiss they just shared while she helped him out with his nose bleed. He wants to be able to hold himself together but he can't help but come unglued every time he sees Katherine Beckett.

* * *

**If you happened to give the song I shared with you before you read this chapter a chance, you'd notice the last line I used was similar to the song. Teehee. Please enjoy and leave your comments/reviews if you think that I should continue with this story. & Stay tuned, this is a Castle/Beckett story. c: **


	2. Chapter 2: It's Up For You To Understand

**Chapter 2: It's Up For You To Understand**

Again, you're welcome to listen to a song that inspired me to twist the ending a little bit. The song Roger Rabbit by Sleeping With Sirens. Check it out if you wish.

* * *

_"I love you." He whispered as she walked down the steps. He may have not said it to her face but, could you blame him? Her mixed signals were making him self-conscious and he didn't want to see how she'd react to those three words when she couldn't even talk to him about a kiss they just shared while she helped him out with his nose bleed. He wants to be able to hold himself together but he can't help but come unglued every time he sees Katherine Beckett._

* * *

**(Kate's POV)**

There was no way possible that I couldn't feel anything for Richard Castle. I strolled into the 12th precinct making sure that my face didn't show any sign of worry or the fact that the man I have strong feelings for just kissed me and I broke away. Esposito walked up to me, "Beckett, Bryan is in the interrogation room. Ryan tried seeing if he could get anything out of him. He hasn't said much except the normal 'It wasn't me'." I nodded and practically jogged my way into that interrogation room, the farther away from Castle the better. I didn't have time to see his face filled with that pained expression when I locked the door and ran away from him.

Marcus Bryan was sitting in his chair and quickly looked up to meet my eyes. I walked around him; I wasn't in the mood to sit down just yet. I placed my hands on the table in front of him.

"Why did you kill Melvin Anderson, Marcus?" my tone was sharp and waiting for his answer. He shook his head slightly.

"Like I told the other cop, I didn't kill 'em. I was at the zoo, yes but, I didn't kill that guy. I don't even know 'em." I stared at him; trying to find any distress, tone that showed he was lying, or anything that would prove that maybe he was our guy. Regardless, I was going to keep interrogating him. I knew damn well that he wasn't telling the entire truth.

"Marcus, I feel like you're holding back on some important information. You ran away from us, if you weren't guilty you wouldn't have ran." I raised my eyebrows.

"No, that's not why I ran, lady." He sighed and put his head in his hands, "I ran because I thought that white guy was coming to get me. I owe money to this dealer. I lied when I said I didn't entirely know Melvin. He was going to the same dealer as me. I didn't know him personally but, I knew of him."

I sat down in the chair above him "Who is your dealer? I need a name Marcus." He leaned forward and shook his head once again.

"If I tell you, he'll kill me." He leaned back and looked away.

I leaned forward as well, "Who will kill you, Marcus? I can protect you but, only if you tell me his name. If you don't cooperate, I cannot help you or keep you safe. Help me help you."

A sigh escaped his lips, "Tony Fletcher. He's an Italian business man, lives in upper Manhattan. He's my dealer. That's all I can tell you, detective."

I sat up straight, "Tony Fletcher. Okay, I'll keep this anonymous and have someone deliver you safely to your apartment. If you hear anything about Melvin, you call me." I handed him my card and walked out of the interrogation room to get Ryan.

* * *

**(Rick's POV)**

I sat down at my chair next to her desk. I was going to wait. I didn't care how long this took; I lost her too many times to let her slip through my fingers again. She can't hide her feelings for me when she knew I was the one for her. She was talking to Ryan but, glanced over to where I was sitting and darted her eyes back to Ryan. She didn't want to look at me and that feeling of not being wanted stung like a bee. I looked down at my hands. I'm a man. I'm not going to sit here and cry over her. I'm going to make sure that I keep my cool and if she was going to act like it never happened then, so was I. She turned on her heels, slowly walked over to her desk and sat down; she didn't look at me at all. She turned her eyes to look down at her file on Marcus Bryan. Esposito handed her a file on this guy named Tony Fletcher. I continued to look at her. My heart was aching, I couldn't take the pain. She was never going to let that wall come down for me and it pained me to know that maybe I had no chance at all. That kiss however, showed me otherwise. God, my life is going to be way more confusing if I don't find out if Kate feels the same way. I told her I loved her when she got shot at Montgomery's funeral but, like she said 'I _heard_ you saved me. I don't remember anything because I blacked out.' It was my chance to tell her but, not here; not now. I didn't want to say it at the precinct and risk her telling me I could no longer shadow her in front of the boys and Gates.

Castle, maybe you should go home." She finally spoke up but, still didn't look at me.

"I'm not going home just because you don't want to talk to me, Kate. You know we need to discuss this. I'm not leaving until we do. Plus, you need me. You need my help on this case, that Fletcher guy, you can't get him on your own and you know it. I may not be a cop but, my theories help you out." I whispered making sure she could tell that I wasn't the happiest person at this moment. My tone caught her off guard.

"Castle, there is nothing to discuss. If you're going to stick around then, let's go." Her tone was rather icy. She got up, grabbed her coat and headed out the precinct.

* * *

We started to leave Manhattan, it seems like Tony Fletcher did deal to Bryan and Anderson but, he was out of town for a business meeting, fortunately, we found fingerprints on a pen in his office. We took it and were going to give it to Lanie to see if she found any prints and could match them. On the ride back to the precinct Gates told us to take the rest of the day off so, Kate turned the car around and started driving to the loft.

* * *

**(Kate's POV)**

I parked the car and waited for him to get out of the car. "See you tomorrow, Castle." He didn't move at all. He was staring out the window and refused to get out. I clutched the wheel bracing myself for his next move. He unbuckled his seatbelt and grabbed my hand.

"Kate, don't ignore what we have. What happened earlier, we can…..make it work? Give me a chance to prove it to you." I lowered my eyes to look down at his hand. This time however I turned and kissed him. I had no idea what I was doing, well, I did but, I just couldn't pretend like I didn't have feelings for Rick. I continued to kiss him, running my hands over his face and through his hair. There was no denying the sexual tension between us. He pulled away slowly wanting to say something but without thinking I whispered "Castle, I know you love me." He stopped and stared at me with shock coloring his face. There was something else in his facial expression, not only the shock but it seemed like rage. By the time I said what I had said I didn't realize that I said it out loud. God, this was going to make things bad…..very bad.

* * *

**(3rd Person POV)**

What happened next was probably the worst thing that would happen between them. Castle's voice began to rise and Beckett's breathing was becoming jagged.

"You said you didn't remember!" Beckett looked down at her hands.

"You don't understa-" Castle cut her off midsentence and shouted,

"No. _You_ don't understand! _You_ left me alone for three months._ You_ needed space, I gave it to you. I thought _you_ didn't remember. I took my time to wait for _you_ and wait for _you_ to break the walls down for me. What happened this morning, for a split second I believed you were going to let me finally in. You didn't and on top of that, you've known that I loved you and you sat on it for a year. I've loved you for four fucking years and all you did was ignore it. You know what that makes me feel like? I didn't think so. So don't sit here and tell me that I don't understand when you're the one lying to people. Maybe this is karma. I hurt so many women in the past and now it's happening to me. You're hurting me Kate and when you finally realize the pain you're causing me, come find me." The venom was spitting out with his tone. With that he got out the car, slammed the door and walked off.

Kate watched him walk off, she placed her head on the wheel, "Fuck."

* * *

**Please review! I can't believe I already have 21 followers in a matter of not even a full day. It may not seem like a lot but to me it is :) Anyway, if you liked the chapter please review, follow, favorite, etc. && if you have any ideas as to what I should do for the next chapter I'm allowing any suggestions. I'm usually not one to have a 'let the fans write the story for you' but, I have a feeling that if I don't get suggestions I'll have writer's block. I haven't written stories like this in forever so, I'm kind of having a hard time getting back into the creative mode. Plus, this is my first fanfic since, I used to write stories on YouTube. So please, leave a suggestion if you wish :) **


	3. Chapter 3: When You're Lonely

**Chapter 3: You Only Want Me When You're Lonely**

You're welcome to check out the song that inspired the ending of this chapter: When You're Lonely by Jana Kramer.

* * *

_Kate watched him walk off; she placed her head on the wheel, "Fuck."_

* * *

**(Rick's POV)**

I walked into the loft, kicked off my shoes and threw my coat on the couch. Nobody was home yet. Mother was out at her theatre and Alexis was probably out with Ashley. I walked into my office; I let my emotions out right then and there. I grabbed the picture that I had on my desk, it was a photo that I had of Beckett and myself. I picked it up, clenched my fist and with the photo in my hand I let out a frustrated sigh. I threw it immediately at the wall, letting it shatter on the floor. The glass from the frame slid across the floor and pieces of it cut my foot as I walked over to the other side of the room and punched a hole into the wall. I turned into something that I wouldn't have ever turned into with my past wives. I had never gotten that upset over something like this especially over Kate Beckett…that was it, though, she was Katherine Beckett and I loved her unconditionally. How on earth could she do this to me? How could she say that I didn't understand where she was coming from when she lied to me? She sat on the three words I told her for a year…..a fucking year. I understood that she was hurt, I get that she had her walls but, I just couldn't take this anymore. I leaned against the wall and ran my hand through my now tussled hair. I took a deep breath; I needed to talk to my mother. I walked into the kitchen to get the broom so that I could clean up my office before she got back home and flip out on me because there was glass everywhere.

Once I finished cleaning up the glass from the floor I went into take a shower. My right foot had a cut right on the top because the glass had sliced through my sock when it came crashing down from the floor. I stripped my clothes off, got into the shower and let the steaming water run down my body. I let it hit my face as the thoughts of everything that happened today ran through my mind. How she allowed me to kiss her, ran off, and kissed me in the car leading to her revealing the fact that she knew I loved her. My eyes closed as I washed my hair and tried getting my mind off of her. It wasn't healthy for me to stick around and see her string me on. I put my forehead against the shower wall and let everything sink it. I needed to go back to that precinct, I had to continue shadowing her…..or at least I _wanted_ to. She hurt me, yes, but I loved her.

* * *

**(Kate's POV)**

I turned the corner and went straight to my door making sure nobody was around and unlocked my door. I walked in, locked the door behind me and put the chain on the door. I placed my keys down on the counter and went to go sit on the couch. I dropped my coat on the floor and stared at the very area that I had let Castle kiss me this morning. I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them and I wrapped my arms around my legs and sat there; staring. The thoughts of today spun in my head like a merry-go-round. I can't believe I had said that in the car. I ruined the perfect moment and he probably hated me now. I remembered the fire in his eyes when he backed up. The amount of shocked and rage his face showed; the way his voice came out like venom from a snake and hit me clear in the face. I closed my eyes and tried to remember a Castle who smiled at me when we sat at my desk, The Castle that brought me coffee every morning but, as I imagined those small moments the facial expression of how upset he was not even an hour ago crept back into my head and stung me like electricity. I realized that that stupid mistake of letting him know that I knew he loved me would ruin our friendship. It was the one thing I had been trying to avoid and now it was too late. I got up and walked over to the picture that Castle gave me; it was us, the old us, us from before today. I held it in my hands, leaned against the wall and slowly slid down. I hadn't even realized that the tears were streaming down my face. I could taste the saltiness of my tears on my lips, I wasn't just shedding a few tears, I was full on sobbing my eyes out.

* * *

**(Rick's POV)**

"Richard?" I looked up to find my mother staring at me as she ate the salad I made her.

"Yes, mother?" I raised my eyebrows slightly trying to hide the fact that I had a long day at the precinct

"What's up, kiddo? You seem like you had a bad day." I nodded and cleared my throat,

"Beckett remembered. She's known for a year that I loved her and she told me today." My mother's eyes opened wide and she looked at me confused.

"Wait, what? Kiddo, she knew? Why didn't she say anything?" I shrugged and shook my head,

"Beckett is confusing. She said I 'didn't understand' so, I kind of," I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed, "I got so upset that I yelled at her and got out the car. I immediately left."

"Richard, I'm so sorry." I nodded, "Maybe you should go talk to her? You did yell at her at the heat of the moment, talking things through would make it better for you two?" I shook my head and watched Alexis walk into the kitchen.

"I'm not going to talk to her. I'll go to the precinct tomorrow but, I'm already upset, I don't need this." Alexis walked up to me and pecked my cheek.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The concern was written all over her face. My baby girl shouldn't be worrying about me so, it was time to give a small white lie.

"Nothing, Alexis. I just had a long day at the precinct." I gave a small smile and squeezed her before she made her way upstairs to go do homework.

* * *

Everyone was upstairs sleeping so I made my way over to my office and started typing up a new chapter for my new Nikki Heat book. I started playing music and humming along to the song "Apologize" by One Republic. The song fit this scenario perfectly. I glanced at the small clock at the bottom of the laptop and saw the time: 10:34PM. I heard a knock at the door and got up immediately, who could that be at this hour?

"Coming!" I jogged to the door and opened it before laying my eyes on who was standing outside in my hallway.

"Castle, we need to talk." I looked right into her eyes and bit the inside of my cheek, I wasn't going to let her see that seeing her made him slightly better but at the same time killing him inside that she had the audacity to face him within less than six hours.

"Beckett, what do you want?" I continued to stare at her trying to hurry up this conversation so she could leave.

"You." She walked up to me and gave me a kiss, I could taste something strong when she shoved her tongue into my mouth, it was alcohol; she was drunk. I pulled away and pushed her off slightly.

"You need to leave," I turned her around and lead her to the door. "You're drunk." She giggled and grabbed my hand.

"Ricky, don't be this way. I'm sorry I hid the fact that I knew you loved me for a year but, I have strong feelings for you. Please? Let's talk this through?" I took a moment to pause and think about it but, I knew damn well that I shouldn't sit down and 'talk this through'. I let her out to the hallway, called a cab and stepped out into the hallway with her.

"How did you get here, Beckett?" I asked letting the iciness of my tone sink in.

"I drove over here." She shrugged like it was nothing.

"Are you crazy?! You could've gotten into a car accident! I'm calling you a cab; I'll bring your car over tomorrow after work."

"You could let me stay the night?" She played with the top button of my dress shirt and I pulled her wrists off of me and placed it at her sides.

"No."

* * *

The cab came ten minutes later and I walked her to it and made sure to pay the taxi driver and tell him her address. I watched the taxi drive away after Kate got in. I walked back up to the loft and gripped the arch of my nose with my index finger and thumb. She was too frustrating and tomorrow was going to be extremely awkward, I'll pray that she doesn't remember this. She was pretty drunk so, maybe she'll think it was just a dream. 'Lord, help me." I walked to the office and continued writing the rest of the next chapter.

* * *

**There were a few complaints about the fact that I switch the point of veiws but, I do it for a reason & I hope you will continuing reading regardless. I enjoy letting you see into the mind of each character instead of having one POV or 3rd person all the time. Anyway, there is another song (Country song) that you can listen to & that is pertaining to the end of this chapter. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter. It's more of Castle's POV because I feel that in the show you don't really get to see how he acts when she leads him on too much & you see more of him going back to the 'page 6' playboy Richard Castle instead of the Castle that breaks down or the Castle that isn't all fun and games and has a lot of built up emotions. Please review and leave a comment ^.^ Also, thank you to Sianita95 for your advice/suggestions on how I should continue this story. I appreciate every single review I get; good or bad. Keep 'em coming & I'll continue working on the new chapters ^.^**


	4. Chapter 4: Battlefield

**Chapter 4: Battlefield**

This chapter was inspired by the song Battlefield by Jordin Sparks. 

* * *

_The cab came ten minutes later and I walked her to it and made sure to pay the taxi driver and tell him her address. I watched the taxi drive away after Kate got in. I walked back up to the loft and gripped the arch of my nose with my index finger and thumb. She was too frustrating and tomorrow was going to be extremely awkward, I'll pray that she doesn't remember this. She was pretty drunk so, maybe she'll think it was just a dream. 'Lord, help me." I walked to the office and continued writing the rest of the next chapter._

* * *

**(Kate's POV)**

I walked in to the precinct the next day with a painful hangover from the night before. This was going to be a long day and in an hour or two Castle was going to waltz in and that would make it worse. I contemplated texting him and just telling him not to come into the precinct because I'd be doing paperwork all day; though that would be a lie. I saw Esposito stroll in to the precinct with Ryan next to him. They were arguing about a basketball game last night, I'm not even sure what they were talking about because Castle still hadn't come in to the precinct and usually he'd be on his way or already there. So, I got up after saying good morning to the boys and went into the elevator. I clicked the button for the basement and tapped my foot waiting for the doors to open so I could walk into the morgue. When the doors opened after a couple minutes I made my way straight to Lanie. She was at the lab tables looking through a microscope and trying to find any fingerprints or anything that was under the victim's fingerprints that could get them another lead. She was still looking at some evidence that Ryan had given her yesterday dealing with Anderson. She glanced up from the microscope as I stood in front of her and popped an Aspirin into my mouth.

"Good morning, sweetie." She chuckled slightly noticing that I had a hangover and shook her head.

I nodded at her and gave a small smile "G'morning." Damn, the pain in my head was so sharp.

"What's wrong with you?" I placed my head in my hands and took a deep breath. She took off her gloves and placed them in the trash bin beside her before walking over to me, grabbing my arm and dragging me to the chair.

"I told him that I knew he loved me, Lanie." I stared at her trying to hold the tears within.

"You told writer-boy? What happened? What did he say? Did you guys get it on?" She laughed and gave a suggestive wink.

I shook my head slowly, "Yesterday he kissed me after getting Bryan in and I pulled away and refused to talk it through. After that, I tried to avoid the conversation that he wanted but, in the end I ended up making out with him and I let it slip," Lanie giggled waiting for the rest of the story, "He got upset, Lanie. He yelled at me and told me I'd never understand how he felt because I sat on those three words for a year. I didn't bring it up and he practically told me I ripped his heart out by making him wait so long without acknowledging the fact that he loved me." Lanie gave an uncertain look, she looked like she didn't want to say the wrong thing but she did have to tell me the truth.

"Sweetie, maybe he's right. You did know that he loved you and you didn't care to bring it up. I'm sure Castle isn't going to be mad forever but at least go talk to him. He loves you. Whether you want to admit it or not, honey, you love him too."

"So, I get that maybe I shouldn't have held it in so long but, maybe it would've been best if I never mentioned it in the first place. It could've been avoi—." Lanie put her hand up to stop me from talking.

"Kate, you can't go back in time and change anything. I think it's a good thing you let that slip out regardless of the fact that he's furious. What happened was meant to happen. You don't have a time machine, hun. You can't go into the time machine car with Doc and change everything. It happened and maybe this'll show you that you should sort your feelings out. Like I said, you love him. Stop denying it, put on your big girl pants and tell him how you feel. He's not going to wait forever, sweetie." I nodded taking everything that she was saying in. She was right, he was waiting and he was starting to fade away from me because of a silly mistake I made. I sighed heavily and hugged her.

"Thanks, Lanie. Let's just hope he'll listen to what I have to say." I got up and looked over at the body, "Did you get anything new?"

Lanie stood up and put a new pair of gloves back on, "Anderson was struggling when he was murdered. The stitching of his lips has this on it," She picked up a small hair with her tweezers, "This hair might be the hair of our lead. Did you continue looking for things on Tony Fletcher?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Mhm. Esposito is suppose to give me any information he's found out, Ryan already handed me a file yesterday before we went out to find him. Too bad he's out on a business trip." Lanie agreed and I started to walk off, "Tell me if you find anything new, Lanie. I have to go back to my desk; I think Castle should be here by now."

* * *

**(R POV)**

I walked into the precinct with a coffee in my hands and placed it on her desk. This coffee wasn't for her though, it was for me. I didn't feel like ordering another one for her since she didn't have the audacity to tell me she remembered sooner. Kate made her way over to her desk with another file in her hands. She was looking down at it, sat down and started to reach over to grab the coffee. I grabbed it before he could and looked down at the file in her hands. "Sorry about that, I didn't get you one today." I gave a fake smile and tried to act normal.

"Uh, well…. Okay." She cleared her throat and watched me take a sip of my coffee. "Well, Lanie found a small hair in the stitching of Anderson's mouth. She's running tests on it right now to see if it matches anyone we might know, such as, Tony Fletcher." I nodded and took another sip of my coffee.

"That's good hopefully we find something. I still think you should go check the zoo. Maybe someone saw something." I shrugged and watched as Gates walked over.

"Good morning, Mr. Castle, Detective Beckett." We said our good mornings at the same time and waited for Gates to continue, "Dr. Parish said that she found a hair and Detective Esposito and Detective Ryan are going to the zoo to see if anyone saw anything that night. Have you found anything new, Detective Beckett?" Beckett shook her head and Gates continued, "Well, get on it. The sooner we close this case the better."

I glanced over at Beckett, her eyes were blood shot red, she looked like she'd been crying earlier and she was rubbing her temples with her index fingers, probably because of the hangover she had. There was a ringing and the table vibrated slightly as her phone went off. She glanced down at the caller ID and answered it, "Beckett." Her eyes closed and she replied after a few minutes, "We'll be there in fifteen minutes." She clicked end and looked over at me, "There was another body dropped at the bodega we visited. We have to head over there now. We might have a serial killer on our hands."

"Alright, I guess we should go then." I got up and headed towards the elevator; not waiting for her. We got into the elevator and she flinched when the elevator made that '_ding_' noise. I looked over at her, "hangover?" She looked straight ahead and nodded.

"Long night, that's all. Got a couple drinks to make me relax." I gave a harsh chuckle when she said that.

"Yeah, luckily I got you a fucking cab." I put on hand in my coat pocket and waited for the doors to open so we could head to her car.

* * *

**(K POV)**

I stood there watching him walk away from me. I thought going to his apartment drunk was just a dream, I couldn't believe that he'd actually do that. In fact, I can't believe I went over there and kissed him. Most of the night was a blur, but I do remember that. He had said that he'd get my car there after work but when I woke up it was already parked in its original spot. How could he get it there so earlier? It was seven in the morning when I went out to my car. I started the car and with the roar of the engine we took off, I kept my eyes on the road a majority of the time but, it was weird that Castle wasn't speaking. It was so silent in the car that we could hear each other breathing. It was never like this in the car, the fight yesterday did make things awkward between us. I cleared my throat and glanced over at him, "Castle, about yesterday…" I was trying to find the right words to tell him how I felt about 'us' but apparently he couldn't wait for me to finish my sentence before he finished it for me.

"It was a mistake." He shot out and continued staring forward.

I felt my heart sink down to my stomach and my eyes started to sting_. Don't cry, Beckett. Don't show him that he's getting to you. _I kept chanting to myself and the thoughts of yesterday ran through my head once more_. Be professional, Beckett. You're a cop, you're here to do your job not play house with Richard Castle. Get yourself together._ I chanted things to myself. A tear rolled down my face and I quickly wiped it away before he could see that what he said affected me. I didn't want to continue the conversation so I dropped it. I brought it up when I shouldn't have. Lanie told me to tell he and maybe I should but, I think I should tell him about my feelings once things cooled down. I did a mental chuckle, I didn't love him anyway…or did I? I continued driving and parked the car once we got to the bodega. I stepped out of the car and saw that Lanie was already there examining the body. I walked over and looked down to see a younger man with dirty blonde hair, probably in college with his eyes stitched closed and a knife wound underneath his rib. It was disgusting, whoever was doing had something wrong with them, mentally. Lanie stood up, "Did you talk to writer-boy?" I nodded and she wanted for me to tell her what happened.

I sighed and looked at her, "He didn't let me finish. He just said yesterday was a mistake and I didn't go on. I can't tell him, Lanie. I'll have to wait for things to cool down before I say anything to him." Lanie nodded and begun to tell me what happened with this man. His name was Tommy Hayes, a friend of Melvin Anderson but Lanie didn't know if he did drugs because she had to take him back to the morgue to check if he had any in his system. If he did drugs then we'd really have to check with this Tony Fletcher guy.

"Hello, Lanie." Castle walked over to us and handed her a coffee. I looked at him, shock waving over my face. Since when did he give Lanie coffees and not me? Esposito walked over just in time and gave Castle a weird look but, ignored him. Castle handed him a bear claw. _What the fuck?_ Everyone is getting something except for me? Did I really screw this up more than I thought? Castle gave me a death glare and walked over to Ryan.

"What the heck was that about?" Esposito said taking a bite out of his bear claw, "Where's your stuff? Did he already give you it?" Lanie gave him a death glare as well trying to signal that he needed to shut up.

I cleared my throat and swallowed the lump of feelings that wanted to come out, "No. He didn't give me anything." I walked off to the car and started to drive off back to the precinct. I needed to close this case as soon as possible. By the time I got there Ryan told me Esposito and Castle tried heading over to see if Tony Fletcher was back from his "business trip". I walked over to the board and wrote down anything that I could that would piece all of it together. _A connection, I needed a connection. _I scribbled down '5th avenue.' That's where the bodega was located and a dead body was found. My phone vibrated in my coat pocket, I reached for it and looked down to see a text message from Lanie:

"_Writer boy is out with Javi. They found something. Tony Fletcher was back from that business trip & apparently he confessed to giving drugs out to the two younger guys we found dead but, he said they were in gangs and that's probably who killed them."_

I scribbled down the new information and tried piecing things together. Castle walked up and stood next to me, "Castle?"

He glanced over before walking up to the board to look at the evidence found, "Beckett?"

"What the hell was that this morning? You gave a coffee to Lanie, a bear claw to Esposito and I got nothing? You always bring me something in the morning." I said just above a whisper, I was hurting, he wasn't acting normal. I can't blame him, I did keep the fact that I remembered a secret from him but, I thought he'd understand.

"And you usually tell me the truth but I guess things change. Nothing stays the same, Detective." His voice was nonchalant.

"Castle, if this is about yesterday…" He turned to face me; his eyes weren't the normal ocean blue. They changed to a dark blue orb filled with pain and anger.

"I told you, I know you think it's a mistake. Stop bringing that up! You're just going to continue hurting me. Is that what you're aiming for? You're trying to jab at me, Kate? Keep it up, go ahead. That's your intentions, it always has been. You're so fucking caught up in your own world. You're hiding around that wall you built so high and the higher I climb the more bricks you add. I've written enough Nikki Heat books, why on earth would I still be here if I didn't care? You probably never thought about that, did you? I didn't think so." His voice spat out flames, he was getting upset again and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Castle, you know that's not my intentions. I don't want us to feel like we're in a battlefield." I whispered trying to calm him down.

"I feel like I'm climbing up and then falling again." His eyes softened but he was still pretty angry.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Castle." I tried to step closer to him but, he took a step back.

"I don't even know why we're fighting. You were never going to give me a chance anyway. I guess I never meant as much as I thought I was worth to you." His face showed no emotion. He was building his own wall and I wanted to make it all go away. I wanted him to be happy again.

"That's not why I did what I did, Castle. Please let's stop fighting and end this war between us. Let's talk things through." I tried to soothe him by offering him a way of talking but it wasn't going to happen.

"If you call this a war then, I guess you better go get your armor." With that he walked to the elevator and left me there standing there. I was losing him and there was no going back after what I said yesterday.

* * *

**Please tell me how you feel about this chapter. It's one of the longest chapters beside chapter one. I tried showing more of Beckett in this chapter, she's starting to struggle a little more since she's grasping the fact that Castle might be building his own wall. Review please :) **


	5. Chapter 5: Little Lion Man

**Chapter 5: Little Lion Man**

This chapter is inspired by one of my good fanfic friends and the Mumford and Sons song 'Little Lion Man', listen to it if you please because it really does get you to understand the ending of this chapter. Also! For the beginning of this chapter you should listen to 'Father Daughter Songs You're My Hero' it's on Youtube: watch?v=mOg197GMXzg

* * *

_"If you call this a war then, I guess you better go get your armor." With that he walked to the elevator and left me there standing there. I was losing him and there was no going back after what I said yesterday._

* * *

**(R POV)**

I placed my hands in my pocket as Alexis walked beside me. She was drinking her hot chocolate to keep her warm. It was mid-November and seeing that Kate and I had been having problems for a good week and a half I needed to clear my head and take a day off from shadowing at the precinct. Alexis decided to take me out for the day, a daddy-daughter day. We were walking through Central Park having a nice chat about the Ivy League colleges she was getting into. My little girl was going to graduate soon and there was no way that I could deal with her leaving and not spending a good amount of time with her. She snapped me out of my thoughts when she continued to stare at me.

"Dad, you've been spacing out all this time. You're constantly zoning out. What's wrong with you? It's Beckett isn't it?" Her voice had a hint of concern along with a slight amount of anger. Ever since the other day when she saw the hole in my office wall, she's been concerned that maybe shadowing Beckett wasn't good for me. She felt that Beckett didn't deserve me and with everything that was happening, maybe she was right.

I sighed and gave a small smile while trying to hide the fact that my heart was still aching about everything that happened. "Don't worry about it, Alexis."

Her eyes went wide with disbelief, "Don't worry about it? How do you expect me not to worry when there are holes in your wall, you're zoning out while we're hanging out and you come home and drink at least a shot of scotch before bed! Like I said before, maybe this shadowing thing isn't doing any good for you, Dad. You've written so many books that you don't need any more. Kate is a cop, you're a writer. Maybe it's time to stop shadowing her…" Alexis hugged me tightly yet carefully so she wouldn't spill her hot chocolate onto my coat. "Dad, please, just think this over. I love you and if she's causing this depression thing you're going through then maybe it's best if you gave up."

"Alexis, sometimes I feel like you're growing up too fast for me. You act more mature than me at times. It's ridiculous," I bumped her shoulder softly and gave a heartfelt smile, "Let's just stop talking about this, okay? Plus, we should probably start heading down to the ice rink soon. I think it would be cool if we did a little ice skating today, don't you think?" I started walking off with her right behind me. We continued our chat about her colleges, how she and Ashley were doing, etc.

"You know, Ashley told me he loved me the other day," I looked at Alexis as she put her ice skates on and I lifted her to her feet once she was done, "I don't know if I'm ready to say it back. You know, what if he hurts me?" I nodded trying to understand where she was coming from and what I should say about a boy telling my daughter the three words that I had said to Kate.

"Do you love him back?" We headed over to the now clear rink and began to skate across the ice, engraving figure eights into the ice.

"That's the thing, I think I love him but, there is such a big risk if I say it and he decides to leave me when things get more challenging. Sure, we've fought before and it's been eight months now but, those words change everything." Her blue orbs burned into my skin, my daughter was everything. I couldn't believe that it felt like just yesterday I had been giving her raspberries on her tummy and teaching her how to read 'The Cat in The Hat' and now she was heading off to college and was going to be valedictorian of her class in high school.

"Whatever you do, don't sit on those words if you actually do love him. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed and if you love him and are sure that you do love him, the best thing to do is say so. As for the worry of him leaving you when the going gets tough, you have to understand that a relationship that lasts longer than a breath mint is going to have its challenges and if it doesn't last then, it didn't end because of the challenges but rather that the relationship wasn't strong enough to begin with." Wow, the words that had just come out of my mouth were probably one of the best things I've ever said. I'll have to remember to include that somewhere in one of my books.

Alexis' eyes lit up with gratitude and she skated up to me and gave me a huge hug, "You know, although you act like a little boy sometimes, I couldn't have asked for a better dad."

* * *

I walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist and went to look for a clean pair of boxers, pajama pants and shirt. I found a shirt that I haven't wore in a long time. I'm so used to wearing those dress shirts but, today I was going to relax. I picked it up and threw it on after I put my boxers and grey pajama pants on. The shirt had a superman sign on it. Alexis was making dinner so, I decided to be funny and wrap my towel around my neck and run out into the living, "Aha! I am here to save the day!" I ran up to Alexis as she put down the knife she was using to chop up some vegetables and lifted her onto my shoulder, "Super Dad to the rescue!" I spun her around, hearing the small giggle come from her lips and then set her down gently.

"Dad, I get that you're having fun in your pajamas but we need milk right now. I'm planning on making some mashed potatoes and we ran out. Can you head over to the grocery store? "

I walked back into my room and grabbed my keys, "Sure, sweetheart. I'll be back in twenty minutes. Call me if you need anything!" With that I walked out of the loft and made my way to my car.

* * *

**(K POV)**

Gosh, there was no way I could handle this anymore. This whole awkwardness between Castle and me was really starting to take a toll on me. I needed to hurry up and make things right before I lost him for good. I didn't know if he'd be at the loft but, that's the only place that I'd image he'd be at 7PM. I didn't feel like wasting gas so I decided to walk over there. It shouldn't be that long. Plus, I could always haul a taxi if I got tired or walking or this ended with me in tears.

I took a deep breath before knocking on door of Castle's loft. I braced myself to get the door shut in my face the minute he laid his eyes on me. I looked up as the door opened; Castle wasn't the one to open it though. The redhead in front of me stared at me with a slight smile as she allowed me inside. I wasn't sure what I should've been thinking at that time but, I needed to get things cleared up with Rick. "Is your father here?" I asked her while stepping inside.

"No. He went out to the grocery store; he should be back in twenty minutes. In the mean time, you and me," she pointed between us and raised her eyebrow, "Need to have a one on one talk about this whole thing." I sat down on the couch while she handed me a bottle of water and sat down in front of me.

"Alexis, maybe this isn't a good idea. This is more of a talk I should be having with your father." I tried to give a small smile but her eyes were piercing straight through me like daggers so I sat up straight to wait for her to start her "lecture".

"Detective Beckett, I understand that you have walls that you may or may not want to break just yet, however, my father has been drinking a shot of scotch every night before bed, he's been beating himself up because he feels he's not good enough for you. I don't appreciate the fact that you're hurting my father. Sure, you're independent and I love that about you, you're someone I look up to but, in this area, I'm not a huge fan of you. In fact, it's pretty upsetting that you're making my father go through this. In fact, I want to show you what happened when you and he those fights." She got up and made me follow her to his office, "Do you see that hole in the wall? Yeah, that's what he did when he came home. That's what my grandmother told me, anyway. I wasn't present at that time and neither was she but she could tell that he wasn't too happy the day he came home. My grandmother didn't tell me the whole thing but, I can tell it's about this whole "I love you but won't say it" type thing. I get it, like I said, you have those walls that you haven't let down but, until you're actually ready to let my father in or accept that this is partially your fault, maybe you should get my father to take some days off. You both need to clear your heads or talk this through. I'm assuming that you're here to do that so, I'm not going to kick you out so soon. I'll let my father come home and talk to you. You're welcome to stay on the couch while I throw this chicken in the oven and go upstairs to finish up some homework." I stared at her as she walked off to place the chicken in the oven and head upstairs. Did Alexis just give me a speech of how I should be treating her father? Lord. This is ridiculous. She did have a good point though. I shouldn't have sat on those words for so long and maybe I should give Castle a chance. I was here for that anyway. I just needed some time with him to explain myself and tell him why I did what I did.

* * *

I waited until he walked into the loft with a bag in his hands, "Alexis! I brought the milk! I even got us some chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers so we could make s'mores after dinner." He called up the stairs and whistled while he put everything down on the counter. "Wow, dinner smells good." He looked up to find me getting up from the couch. The smile left his face and he started to walk around the counter and stand in front of me with his hands over his chest. "What're you doing here, Beckett?" His tone was softer than it was last week when he told me to get my armor or yesterday when we had a small argument about if he was going into the interrogation room with me - _stupid, I know_. I allowed myself to look into his blue orbed eyes and took a deep breath.

"I need to talk to you. I have to make this right again. It's killing me knowing that I'm losing you, not only as a partner but as a friend…and everything else you are to me." My voice was shaky. I couldn't control the quickening of my breath; I was nervous that he'd kick me out and not listen to what I had to say.

"Fine, go ahead." His arms were still crossed over his chest.

"Castle, I really fucked up this time didn't I?" I waited for him to nod before continuing, "It was not your fault but mine and it was your heart on the line; I really fucked it up this time." I took a deep breath before taking a step forward and looking at his face to find any sign of forgiveness, I wasn't going to get it right away but apologizing would sort of make things easier for us; one step at a time.

"Well, I agree. You did fuck it up. I don't know if I can forgive you just yet though." His eyes lowered and now was my chance; it was now or never.

"Castle, I love you." I said quickly before taking another step towards him again searching for any hope that I could receive.

* * *

**Please leave a review. I'm sorry for the cliffhanger ;) Please don't hate me! D: Lol. Did you enjoy it? I hope so. I loved the little lecture Beckett got, & the superman scene was simply adorbssssss, I just _had_ to include that c:**


	6. Chapter 6: Prove It

**Chapter 6: Prove It**

This chapter is pretty intense and has a couple of songs you should check out for each scene. So, I'll give you the song names in order before you start reading (because I'm so nice): 

Robert Duncan: I Just Want You.

Epic and Dramatic Trailer Music

Brain Crain: Wind

Epic Music Mix of Legend VIII - Two Steps From Hell (I have no idea how I ran into this song lol.) 

* * *

_"Castle, I love you." I said quickly before taking another step towards him again searching for any hope that I could receive._

* * *

**(R POV)**

I tried my hardest not to cave in just yet. I watched her approach me with her hands in limp by her sides. What was she planning? _We can't do this, we can't. Richard, hold yourself together. Remember what she did to you. _I kept chanting over and over again, she wrapped her arms around my neck. Those hazel eyes burned into me, she looked gorgeous. I couldn't contain the feelings inside any longer. I inhaled her scent and she crashed her lips against mine_. No. No. Stop._ I was in shock, sure she kissed me before but, this kiss didn't feel like a normal kiss. I felt like she was finally breaking those walls down for me. She leaned back and glanced into my eyes quickly before looking straight at my chest,

"I'm so sorry Castle," she ran a hand through my hair, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She repeated and then kissed me again before I pulled her back unwillingly.

"We can't do this, Kate." The look on her face could've killed me, her eyes didn't look the same, she looked sad and the regret of holding all of this in for a year washed onto her face.

"Castle, I've gone to work every single day and have watched you walk in and hand everyone else something except for me. I know it sounds stupid, I know that to someone else it would just be a coffee but, to me…." She took a long breath, "To me it's everything, and it shows that you care about me Please, just forgive me, Rick. I can't stand this any longer. God, I never thought I'd be the one to actually say it but, I love you. I've loved you for as long as you've loved me. There's no other man I'd be happy to be with besides for you. When I'm with you, I smile; I can laugh and be myself. I just need you to forgive me. I know what I did was wrong, Castle. I'm so sorry." She leaned back in once again. _Dang, she really wanted to kiss me_. This time however, her lips only brushed against mine slightly before she noticed that I wasn't going to cave in.

"Kate…" I sighed; I didn't want to cave in yet. She made me suffer for four fucking years. Why should I give in and let her get away with breaking my heart. Then again, if I did allow her to receive that chance that she longed for, I'd be happy. No more heartbreak, no more pain; just love. I kissed her without thinking of the consequences that my heart would be in if she decided to tell me that it was a mistake tomorrow. I tangled a hand in her hair, pulling her forward and slowly flipped us so that she was against the counter that I had been standing in front of. She wrapped her arms around me with caressing the back of my neck; she drew tiny shapes on the back of my shoulder with her fingers. God, I have been waiting so long for this moment. I kissed along her neck, making sure that I didn't leave any exposed skin without planting a warm kiss. Her nails raked along my back; a low groan was released from my throat when she let out a low moan. She wasn't drunk this time so, I knew that she wanted this; unless, she was desperate or having a bad day at the precinct. _We haven't found the Jigsaw killer._ She could be desperate. I pulled away and the silky moonlight from the open window was against her skin; she looked like a goddess. She smiled and stared into my eyes, there was nothing that I wanted more than to love her for the rest of my life but, I needed to know if this was going to be a mistake or not.

"We have to stop. We both know that tomorrow you're going to tell me it's a mistake. You're just upset that we haven't found a lead in the case that we've been working on. I think it's best if you leave, Kate." This was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do but, she left her walls up for so long that I had built my own up just so I could stop myself from the tears or go day to day acting like everything was normal; I bottled my feelings up. She looked at m, pain washed over her face again and she couldn't believe that I just kissed her and was now kicking her out. _Ha, it's funny. Déjà vu! It's really ironic that she was doing it to me a couple weeks ago and now I was the one doing it to her._

"It won't be a mistake, Rick. Come on! Don't kick me out." She frowned. I grabbed her hand and slowly opened the door.

"Call me when you have this sorted out. You made me wait for four years. You need to sort this stuff out before I can forgive you or even give myself to you." I whispered and kissed her forehead.

She gave a small smile and went back to the frown she had, "One step at a time?" I nodded and lead her out the door before she gave me a tight hug.

"I really do love you and if proving it is what it takes…..I'll prove it until you believe me." She whispered into my ear and then let go from my grasp and headed down the hallway to go back to her apartment. I was speechless. I leaned against the door frame and took a deep breath. _Wow, I just let the love of my life walk off by telling her that she needed to prove it._

* * *

**(K POV)**

I walked down the dirty road filled with broke bottles and soda cans everywhere. My hands were fit snug in my coat pockets. Honestly, tonight was a beautiful night, the moonlight was shining down on my face and even though this part of town wasn't looking too nice right now (they needed to clean it up) it was still gorgeous. I loved it here and I wouldn't have it any other way. I looked up to find a car slowly going into an alley. It looked like the car that was parked outside of the zoo when Anderson was killed. We couldn't find whose car it was because they were smart enough to cover the license plates. I checked myself to see if brought my gun. _Shit._ For some reason I must of left it at Castle's loft. What the hell, Beckett? I slowly walked over to the alley, I had to be as careful as possible so that I didn't get kidnapped, shot, or stabbed. I poked my head around the corner and saw someone get out of the black corvette. The man was about 6'9.5" feet tall, he was dressed in what looked like a grey suit and looked around the alley to make sure nobody saw him. I turned to make sure he couldn't see me and when he shut the door and started to walk off deeper into the dark alley. I followed him quietly; I had to make sure he didn't hear the clicking of my heels. I hid behind the corvette when another man walked out of the shadows to greet him. I pressed myself against the door of the car and kneeled down and poked my head around the car to get a better view.

"This detective, she's starting to figure things out. We have to make sure we make this ten times harder." The man in the grey suit explained; his voice was deep.

"What if we just take that man she works with? She'll have to look for him while we continue the game." The other man chuckled at his own idea but, the one in the grey suit put his hand up.

"No, she'll figure it out regardless. We just have to drop that body off. We better go throw it somewhere close to that zoo. I have the perfect idea for it." They whispered something that I couldn't hear.

"I still think we should get the guy she's working with. It'll buy us some time. Plus, she'll have to go around looking for 'em. It's the perfect plan, boss."

"Fine," the one in the grey suit had a frustrated look plastered onto his face. _Were they talking about Castle? I work with a lot of guys; it could be Esposito or Ryan._ "We'll get him soon but, for now we need to drop the body off." I got up slowly and tried to find the license plates on the car but, this time they were taken off. I started to run off the minute they turned to go into a small apartment. I'm guessing to retrieve the body. I ran out into the street and pulled out my phone. _Shit_. Only 10% of my battery was left. I had to think fast. _Who to call? Castle? No. he wasn't really in the mood to talk to me. Espo? He was probably out with Lanie somewhere. Ryan? No, he was taking Jenny out to dinner. _I finally settled on someone to call when my phone shut off completely." Oh. My. God. _Seriously_?!" I whispered loudly before I started to take off my heels.

* * *

**(R POV)**

I was typing furiously on the keyboard when my mother walked in. "Richard, are you okay? You haven't come out for dinner yet and Alexis and I called you thirty minutes ago. You've been cooped up in your office writing all night. Did you have another fight with Beckett?" I saved the document and closed the laptop before looking up at her.

"Mother, that's just it. She came out, she admitted that she was wrong and told me she loved me. After she begged for me to forgive her she kissed me. I wanted her to prove that she loved me and I kicked her out, making sure to tell her that I wasn't going to forgive her until she proved that she wanted me." I ran my hands along the back of my neck. I needed to go out tomorrow, I was beginning to get too tense and the stress was killing me.

"You kicked her out? Richard, what is the matter with you? I understand that you want her to prove herself to you but, her walking over here to tell you she messed up and loved you is a good amount of proof!" My eyes opened with shock as she slightly raised her voice and threw her hands up.

"Mother, are you on Beckett's side?" I questioned. I knew she loved her but, to turn sides on me. That wasn't like her.

"I'm not on anyone's side right now. I think you're both wrong. It's time for you two to be grown adults and not teenagers in high school. Anyway, you need to forget about this tonight so, come out and eat. You'll figure it out soon enough." She did a shooing motion with her hand and walked out the office leaving me speechless.

* * *

**(K POV)**

I walked into the apartment; my breath was low and shaky. I didn't know what to think at that moment. This was all so fast. Someone was coming after me and someone I worked with. I didn't know what to do. I ran across the room and quickly searched for my charger. I flipped my drawers and threw a couple of clothes on the floor as I searched to find my charger. I needed help and I needed to call someone fast. I didn't care if Castle didn't want to talk, he was probably who they were going after. I found the charger behind my bed plugged into the outlet on the wall. I pulled my phone in and went back out to the kitchen to find a gun sitting on the counter. _That's funny, I didn't have my gun, I had left it at Castle's loft. Whose is this?_ I picked up the gun and felt someone behind me; I heard a click and someone spoke softly.

"Turn around slowly, detective." The voice was almost similar to the man in the alley. _They didn't know I was there though so, how could they have gotten me so fast? _

I turned to find a Hispanic looking man, dark brown hair and green eyes; he was wearing a black dress shirt and had a pistol in his hand. He looked like he'd work for the guys in the alley.

"What do you want?" I spat out with my hands raised up; palms facing him. There was no way that I could get the gun away from him without the risk of getting shot.

"I think you know what I want. Take a step forward, detective." I clenched my jaw and did as I was told. He watched my every move to make sure I wasn't trying anything. The moment his eyes glanced around the room to find the duct tape on the table by the couch I kicked the gun out of his hands and started to turn around to grab the gun from the counter. I held it in my hands and turned back to see a grin on his face and he had already retrieved the gun that was next to the couch where it landed when I kicked it.

"Don't move." I shouted while pointing the gun up at him.

He gave a harsh chuckled and took a daring step forward. "Go ahead, shoot me." _This guy was really pushing his luck_, I thought. He took another step at me with his gun pointed at my head and I pulled the trigger. _Just my fucking luck_. There were no bullets in the gun and all I heard was a click. I tried once again. No bullets. He laughed again. He stepped back and hit me against the side of my face with the bottom of his pistol. Shit. There was blood oozing down the side of my face. He punched me in the gut and an 'uff' came from my lips. I wasn't going to let this bastard win without a fight. I took a swing at him and knocked him down with my leg swinging from the back of his knees. He fell to the ground as I tried to run to get the pistol that slipped from his hands. He grabbed my leg and I fell hard onto the wooden floor. He dragged me back towards him and tangled his hands into my hair. He stood up, dragging me with him, and picked me up and placed me against the wall. His hand wrapped around my throat; barely allowing air to come out of me. I tried squirming out of his arms but the harder I tried the more he pushed me against the wall and tightened his grip. He punched me once more in my mouth. The rusty taste of blood was on my lips. He dropped me down onto the cold floor before kicking me once again. My eyes started to shut slowly. Then everything went black.

* * *

**Well! I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter because I loved writing the ending c; I thought since everyone wanted Caskett to "talk" I'd throw it in there ;) Don't worry, they'll be together soon enough but, I want to make you guys crave for it! Lmao. Suspense! Sorry for another cliffhanger ;) **


	7. Chapter 7: Old Friends

**Chapter 7: Old Friends**

Okay, so this is actually the first time I don't have a song to represent this chapter *gasp* shocking, I know.

* * *

_The rusty taste of blood was on my lips. He dropped me down onto the cold floor before kicking me once again. My eyes started to shut slowly. Then everything went black._

* * *

**(R POV)**

I walked into the precinct with two coffees in my hands. Today was going to be different, if Beckett and I were going to do things one step at a time, I was going to start off by doing our normal routine. The "good morning, here's your coffee" routine.

Esposito walked up to me and put his hand out, "No bear claw today? Dang, bro. You let me down." He shook his head, put his hands on his hips and laughed. "Anyway, where is Beckett?"

A quizzical look went across my face, "She's not here?" I asked.

"No. She hasn't come in at all," He shrugged, "It's really strange. She is usually the first one here."

I agreed and offered to go check her apartment to see if she was there. Esposito grabbed one of the coffees and walked off to meet up with Ryan in an interrogation room.

By the time I reached her apartment I had a really bad feeling about what I was going to see when I got her to open the door. She was pretty upset when she left; not angry but remorseful, if you want to say. She said she wasn't going to find us as a mistake but, not showing up to work kind of threw that conclusion at me. I thought she was pretty desperate, she could've called Josh last night and slept with him. Maybe that's why she wasn't at the precinct. Maybe she was having a fun time with him because I told her I wanted her to prove that she was dedicated to me and only wanted me. What if she changed her mind and decided that it really was a mistake and that she could never be with me. I clenched my fist at the thought and knocked on the door of her apartment.

Moments passed and she still hadn't answered the door. She was probably in there having sex with Josh right now. She never really wanted me; it was always a silly lie just to keep me around. I was just a backup, a "booty call", etc. I heard muffled groans from the inside and couldn't figure out what the person was saying but I knew it seemed a little strange. Regardless if she was sleeping with Josh, I think four years with Beckett would let me know that she wouldn't miss work over a boyfriend or just casual sex. Work always came first for her. It was way too strange that I had been knocking on the door for over ten minutes and nobody was answering. Then it hit me, she walked home by herself last night! She could've gotten hurt. Instead of knocking on the door I tried twisting the door knob and to my astonishment, it was open. The door creaked open and I gave myself a mental face palm. "Seriously?" I muttered under my breath. I walked inside and placed my coffee on the counter before looking around the apartment. Nothing seemed to be out of order and it didn't smell like sex in her apartment. I walked around and saw blood on her floor, "What the—." I glanced to my right and found a broken frame with the picture of her and me. I picked it up slowly and looked at the blood on the floor. Did she accidentally cut herself when she broke this? Was she really that upset? I exhaled and placed it on the counter. Maybe I wasn't the only hurting, sometimes I forget that she's not just Detective Beckett but, she's Kate Beckett, a woman who has been through hell and back with everything. She gets emotional too, even though she doesn't show it. I continued to look around the apartment and then I found what I came here for. She was taped to a chair and had dry blood on the side of her face. Her lip was swollen from some sort of impact. Her hair was tussled and with the things out in her living room and kitchen it seemed like someone came in and attacked her before she even got time to relax. The person who did this must've followed her home after she left my loft. I pulled out the gun that she left on my counter and placed it in her dresser drawer next to her bed. I went back to the kitchen and took a knife from the drawer and walked back to her room so I could take the duct tape off. I started to cut through it; suddenly, I felt something crash against the back of my head and shatter to the floor. It was a vase that was from her living room. I touched the back of my head quickly and felt blood begin to ooze out before I blacked out.

* * *

**(RYAN'S POV)**

Gates walked up to us as we stood by Beckett's board and finally started to piece things together. Tony Fletcher had motive. He sold drugs to local kids around Manhattan and the Bronx, he had a record for violence and abuse against women and he had battery charges a couple years back. "Detectives," she greeted before looking quickly over the notes we scribbled on the board, "Where are Detective Beckett and Mr. Castle?" I shrugged before looking over at Esposito.

"Sir, Castle went to Beckett's apartment to see if Beckett was home. She didn't come to work today. We found it a little strange." I explained before picking up the Tony Fletcher file and handing it to her.

"I see that you boys have found Mr. Fletcher to be our main lead right now, am I correct?" We both nodded our heads and told her about the battery charges and violent acts he was charged with a couple years back.

"Well. Keep up the good work and tell Detective Beckett that I need to discuss something with her when she shows up; same for Mr. Castle."

"We should probably text Beckett and tell her to come into work already." Esposito suggested while taking his phone out and sending her a quick text.

"Hey, let's go see if Tony Fletcher is back from his trip yet." I waited until he put his phone away and we went off to go search upper Manhattan.

* * *

**(K POV)**

I opened my eyes slowly, allowing my eyes to adjust from the light from the sunlight hitting the inside of my room. _Ugh_. My head felt like a thousand bricks had hit against it. Then I remembered why, last night that mysterious Italian man who probably worked for those men in the alley had beaten the living day lights out of me. The pain from my head felt worse than a hangover; it felt like a hangover times ten. My lip was swollen and probably looked like a bloody marshmallow; all puffy and such. I looked down to find that the duct tape that he had put around me was cut off and the only remaining tape was around my legs.

After ten minutes of struggling to get off the chair and rip the duct tape off of my legs, I got up and found my gun in my drawer. _I didn't put it there. So, how'd it get there? I thought I left it at Castle's? _I looked around my room and found glass shattered all over the floor and drops of blood leading out my room. _Wow, I must've lost a lot of blood._ I tried to remember everything that happened but it was a blur up until I blacked out. I followed the trail of blood and found a coffee sitting on my counter and the door was wide open. It hit me right then and there. Castle came over. That's why the duct tape was half cut off and the glass was shattered over the floor! The Italian guy must've came back and found Castle trying to untie me. This is what those guys in the alley where discussing! They wanted to kidnap Castle so that they could buy time. The Italian man from last night must've been sent to kill me but, instead he just beat me up to get Castle. I started to hyperventilate and then I heard a buzzing noise from my room. I ran over to see a text from Esposito. I prayed that Castle was okay and maybe my theory was all wrong.

_**Beckett, you need to come in to work already. Castle went to look for you but, it's been over an hour. There's no time for you two to be messing around ;) Lol. Anyway, Gates needs to talk to you 2! Let's go. –Espo. **_

I texted him back as quick as possible and ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I needed to get myself together before I went to the precinct to tell the boys that Castle might be missing. I clicked send and jumped in the shower and heard a buzzing noise less than five minutes later:

_**Espo, did Castle go back to the Precinct?**_

_**Nah. He went out to look for you.**_

I quickly washed all the blood off of my face, man, it stung when the hot water ran down my face. There were so many things going through my head at that moment. I was hoping Castle was okay and I didn't want to see him hurt or in any way, shape, or form looking the way I looked right now.

* * *

**(R POV)**

I started to open my eyes and look around the room. It was dark and my arm was chained to a pole on the wall. _Oh God_. Don't tell me I'm a part of this little Jigsaw game. I started to freak out and try to pull my arm loose and yank the cuffs away from the pole. Someone walked in; their cane was tapping against the tile floor when I looked up. Tony.

"Hello, sunshine." He walked up a couple feet and flashed me a smile.

"Why am I here, Tony?" I asked; my patience was slim right now.

"Why, Rick? No "Hello Tony, how've you been?" Don't you think you should greet your old childhood friend?

"You kidnapped me from my partner's house and have me handcuffed to a pole. Why the hell would I greet you?"

"We both know why. You're stupid girlfriend is starting to know too much about us." He spat out.

"Tony, this was never about those boys you killed, was it?" I questioned and let my arm down.

"I didn't kill those boys but, apparently to your girlfriend thinks I had motive and that it was my fault that those two were dead. You know me, Rick. I'd never kill them."

"Apparently I don't know you enough. You sell drugs to young adults and then they're dead the next day? You're the main suspect. Kate will find you!" I shouted at him. His face was blank; showing no emotion.

"It wasn't me. However, I'm going to keep you locked up for now. I'll bring you something to eat later on, my dearest friend. Maybe we can have a small chat later on. You know, catch up." His Italian accent was heavy. He walked off and shut the door behind him. Maybe this all connected to what that Bryan kid was talking about! Gangs or maybe mobs.

* * *

**(K POV)**

I ran into the precinct and Esposito pulled me to the side, "Beckett. There was a body dropped near the zoo. This time, however, Lanie found something inside the guy's mouth. It was tattooed on his bottom lip. It said 'Kate: 134 Avenue.' We're not sure what that means but, we're looking it up right now," he was still looking down at the papers in his hand and then looked up and stared at my lip, "Shit. What happened to you?"

I stopped him and shouted, "Castle's been kidnapped! He came to find me and he's gone! I think the man who beat me up last night got him when he came to find me this morning!" Esposito called Ryan over and Gates came out the office the minute she heard all the commotion from the 12th precinct.

"Woah. Woah! Calm down, Beckett." Ryan ran over and handed me a bag of ice for my lip.

"Don't tell me to calm down! My partner is missing!" Gates rushed over and demanded that I tell her what was going on. So, I started to tell them everything that happened excluding the whole thing about kissing Castle and going to his apartment. I lied and said that I was walking around and then I saw the guys in the alley.

"Why on earth didn't you call us?" Esposito almost shouted. He was beyond upset that anyone had the dignity to beat me up like that and then just take Castle.

"I told you! My phone died. Anyway, we need to find Castle. Maybe that's where he is. That 134 Avenue place." I said pointing at his papers.

* * *

**Please leave a review. I favor the top of this chapter more than the ending. I had a slight writer's block & was trying to figure out how to make it suspenseful. Hopefully things will get better ;) & for the people wanting Caskett, I'm telling you -_- This is a CASKETT story so, they will be together. . Just continue reading & you'll see what happens. & if you have an suggestions just PM & share any suggestions, I'm willing to take them into consideration c; Thanks.**


	8. Chapter 8: 134 Avenue

**Chapter 8: 134 Avenue**

Yeah, I think the song 'Hey You' by Pink Floyd fits this chapter. Check it out.

* * *

_"I told you! My phone died. Anyway, we need to find Castle. Maybe that's where he is. That 134 Avenue place." I said pointing at his papers._

* * *

**(R POV)**

Tony walked in with a bag of McDonalds, "Double cheese burger or chicken sandwich?" he pulled out two burgers and waited for my response.

"Chicken." He passed the sandwich over and sat down in the chair across the room.

"So," he took a huge bite out of the double cheese burger and without waiting to swallow he continued talking, "Your girlfriend is out looking for you." He gave a sly smile.

I took a bite from my chicken sandwich and shot a glare his way, "If you didn't kill those boys then why would you kidnap me?" I asked while chewing my food.

"Well, assuming that you can't get out of those handcuffs and your girlfriend won't find you for a while," he took some French fries out of his bag and stuff them into his mouth, "She thinks that I killed 'em; which I didn't, like I said earlier. Anyway, if I have you over here I'll be able to get more time without you giving out crazy theories."

"You do know that you have me locked up. So, one, you're going to jail anyway. Two, if you're not guilty then you didn't have to kidnap me. Three, you're not going to buy much time if she's looking for me." I stated while taking another bite from my delicious chicken sandwich.

"I didn't kill those boys but, it doesn't mean I don't know what's going on. It doesn't mean that I'm not helping in some way." He chuckled and walked up to me, handed me some fries and patted my cheek.

"So then you're a suspect, too. You're an accomplice." I dogged my fries and was feeling pretty thirsty.

"If you want to say that," he shrugged and handed me a water bottle; I gladly took it, "However, you don't have this conversation recorded or anything so, I can deny it all." He winked and sat back down in his chair.

"She's going to find me. She loves me." I opened the water bottle and looked down at the tile floor.

He gave a hard chuckle, "Loves you? Sorry to break it to you kiddo," I glanced up at him wondering where he was going with this, "If she loved you Rick…wouldn't she already be with you?" I kept my eyes locked on him. How'd he know what was going on between Kate and me? He continued talking, "Come on Ricky-boy, you don't think I'm stupid now, do you? Sure, I'll call her your girlfriend but, that doesn't mean I have no clue about you two. She's not with you. She may say she loves you but, she has those walls built up so high that she'll never let you in."

"How do you know all of this?" I asked; playing with the wrapper of my water bottle.

"I'm observant. Plus, she wouldn't have been walking around all alone last night if she was with you. You'd never allow her to walk off all alone in New York without a gun and her phone not charged. It was pretty easy for Lorenzo to find her. She was just snooping around things she shouldn't have and he got to her place before she could. Then again, you already saw all that when you went over there this morning to find her."

My jaw clenched at the thought of this Lorenzo kid beating up Kate.

"Boss," A Hispanic looking man walked in. He had a busted open lip, dark hair and green eyes. He had an open gash on the left side of his face and turned to look at me with a grin, "Well good morning, Sleeping Beauty." He laughed sarcastically and turned back to Tony, "'Mornin', boss. Anyway, that Kate chick already went to her buddies down at the precinct. They're out looking for Sleeping Beauty." My eyebrows were soon knitted together. Was this Lorenzo or was this just another accomplice?

"Well, maybe we should go check out those plane tickets. Did you drop the next body, Lorenzo?"

"Yes, sir." He nodded and shot me a grin.

"You're Lorenzo?" I asked icily.

"Yeah. I'm the one who beat the shit outta your girl. She's one hell of a fighter. She wouldn't give up for anything. As you can see," he pointed to his lip. _Good for him, I'm happy Kate got in a few punches. _"Too bad I had to beat her up. She's one hell of a woman; very sexy. Chica has amazing curves." He gave a playful groan and laughed.

"Don't. Talk. About. Her. Like. That!" I snarled and tried yanking my arm free once again.

"Here, Rick; enjoy it." He passed me an iPad and walked out with Lorenzo.

I slid the iPad open and watched as a video popped up. It was a video of Kate in the precinct; she was sitting at her desk with her hands tangled in her hair. I hear her shout something across the precinct to Ryan, "We can't just sit here, guys. Castle's somewhere out there. We have to go find him. Have you found anything on 134 Avenue?" Ryan shook his head and opened his eyes after moments, "I found something!" he shouted to Kate. Her head darted up and she got up as fast as possible before running over to his desk and looking at the area on the screen that he was pointing at. She immediately checked to see if she had her gun and started walking towards the elevator with Esposito following on her heels. He turned her around and placed a hand on her shoulder. He said something that I couldn't distinguish and she nodded and turned to get into the elevator.

I leaned my head against the wall and took time to think about everything. Kate was out there looking for me, Alexis was probably out with Ashley and didn't even know that I was missing; my mother probably thought I was still working on the case, and I was sitting here waiting for someone to find me. I couldn't do anything but play angry birds on the iPad but, it was pretty difficult playing that when my mood wasn't normal so, I stopped. There was no wifi connection so, I was out of luck trying to reach anyone and the whole calling someone thing didn't work either. There was no use. I closed my eyes and decided to wait for Tony to walk back in.

* * *

**(K POV)**

I was standing in the parking lot looking for my car when Ryan came running after me. "Hey, make sure that you don't go in there alone. We're coming right behind you." I nodded. I finally found my car and pulled out to go to the location that Ryan found. 134 Avenue was an area near the zoo and it was probably where Castle was.

I walked around the apartment before Ryan and Esposito drove up. They did have something to do before I left so they'd probably be here in a good twenty minutes. Ryan told me not to go into this building without back up but, if Castle was in there I'd have to get him out as soon as possible. He could be hurt, if that Hispanic guy took him from out of my apartment, he could be beaten pretty badly. I made my way up to the steps of the building and slowly reached for my gun. I kicked the door open, ran in with my gun in my hands and checked to make sure the coast was clear. I slowly made my way around the apartment. I went under a broken door frame and looked into what seemed to be a dining room.

"Castle?" I called out; my gun was still in my hands. I walked around the table. I smelled something that made my nostrils burn, it smelled like a dead cat and something utterly disgusting. I looked behind a chair and found a young girl lying on the floor. She had red hair and something written across her forehead. I leaned down after once again checking my surroundings. "234 Drive, upper Manhattan." I grabbed some gloves out of my pocket and slipped them on before trying to move her away from the wall. I needed to wait for the boys and Lanie to get here so we could check for that address. I heard a single beep come from the body next to my foot. I leaned down to see if she had a phone on her or something. I saw something flashing near the wall where the body originally was. I walked over closely before I saw red numbers counting down. "10…9…8..." I then realized that it was a timer for a bomb. I ran out of the living room but my coat got stuck on a door handle. "6...5..." I yanked on the coat until finally pulling myself from it. I started running through the room near the entrance door. "3…2…"

* * *

**(R POV)**

I opened my eyes and heard someone sit down on the chair and stare at me, "You might want to watch that video that's playing. It's about your girlfriend." I looked down at the iPad with my eyebrows furrowed and watched as she started running out of the apartment she was in, "I put a bomb in there. I guess you shouldn't have told her to prove it, huh?" My eyes shot up to his face. It wasn't Tony, it was Lorenzo. The rage in my eyes was so visible that it could be seen by a blind kid. My blood starting boiling and I looked back down at the iPad and didn't see Kate get out in time. I heard a huge explosion and flames were everywhere. It was ten times worse than that one time that her apartment exploded. I yanked on my handcuffs and began to shout numerous amounts of swear words at Lorenzo.

* * *

**(ESPOSITO'S POV)**

I stopped the car and got out. "Where's Beckett?" I asked Ryan as he looked around her car to see that nobody was there. "I thought you told her not to go in alone?"

"I did." He stated and slowly walked over to me before we heard a huge boom and flames came spewing out of the apartment we were supposed to be going in.

"Kate's in there!" Lanie screamed and tried running towards the now burning building.

I grabbed Lanie's wrist and pulled her back; holding her to my chest. "You can't go in there!"

Smoke was all around the apartment and the amount of flames made it seem impossible that Beckett could've made it out in time.

* * *

**Sorry about the short chapter, guys. I know it's another cliffhanger. I'm sure you guys are loathing me right now c; Anyway, review please? :D**

**Oh! & Shoutout to my wonderful boyfriend for helping me with this chapter & giving a perfect inspirational song for the chapter c: 3**


	9. Chapter 9: Not a Thing I Won't Do

**Chapter 9: Not a Thing I Won't Do**

The song 'Prove it' by Divided by Friday inspired some of this chapter because Castle told her to "Prove it". Teehee. It just went with it. Also!, the song 'Guardian Angel' by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus inspired a majority of this chapter. So, please leave a review and I suggest you listen to these songs. The 2nd song really goes with Caskett. :)

* * *

_Smoke was all __around the apartment and the amount of flames made it seem impossible that Beckett could've made it out in time._

* * *

**(RYAN'S POV)**

Esposito stood behind me as I covered my forehead with my hands. I was searching around in the rubble to see if Beckett was anywhere to be found. There were ashes everywhere and bricks kept falling from the building. I heard a cough and saw something move from under a bunch of wood that looked like it was chunks of the door. I climbed over the chunks of wood, bricks and dirt. I heard another cough and a low groan. Esposito ran in front of me and moved the chunks of wood that had a few flames rising from them and I walked up to the person and lifted her up.

"Beckett, we told you not to go in there by yourself." I scolded. Lanie rushed over and dusted her off before embracing her.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Kate gave a slow nod and looked back over at me.

"Castle isn't in there," she whispered and dusted herself off, "There was a body in there. I'm sure once the fire department comes and puts this fire out we'll be able to get it. There was something written on the girl's forehead that we might not be able to make out but I remember it. We're going to have to figure what that is and head over there. If Castle's not there, we'll be able to find another hint from this dumbass of a serial killer." She told us what exactly happened when she went in there and Lanie walked away to call the fire department.

* * *

**(R POV)**

I tried to yank my arm free once again from the handcuffs. There was no use at this point. Tony was either going to leave me here to die or Kate would come and find me in a couple days. I stopped yanking and leaned my head against the wall again. Why was I so stupid? I really told her to prove her love to me and she was doing it right now. If only I would've took her home myself. _God, why was I so stupid? I could've been holding her right now; in my arms. I needed her to hurry up. I needed her to tell me she loved me. I needed to see Alexis again._

"Here you go, Sleeping Beauty." Lorenzo walked in and slid a tray full of food my way. I didn't pick it up. I kept my eyes closed until I heard a few footsteps. He crouched down in front of me and held my face with one hand. "Hey, no need to be rude. A kind 'thank you' would be appreciated." I glared at him and clenched my jaw. "Aw, poor kid, that hot babe of yours had what was coming for her. Don't be so sad. She never loved you anyway." I spit in his face.

"Shut the fuck up!" I shouted.

He wiped his face with his shirt and turned his head slightly, "You should've banged her before she got into that accident. I'm quite sure she's dead by now." I clenched my fists and got ready to knock that sly grin off his face but, Tony walked in before I could do anything.

"Lorenzo, leave him alone." Lorenzo looked back at him and twisted his head to face me again.

"I guess play time is over, bro." He stood up, dusted off his shirt and walked out the room without another word.

"Have you been watching those videos that I put on that iPad?" Tony sat down on his chair and twirled his cane between his fingers.

"You killed her." I snarled and started to yank my arm once more. I heard something start to snap. The rage inside of me was starting to get the better of me. The metal pole was starting to break off the wall.

"Calm down, Romeo. Your 'Juliet' is fine. Pick up that iPad and see for yourself." He pointed his cane down at the iPad in front of me and went back to twirling it.

I turned the iPad on and unlocked it. There was another camera located across the street from the building that exploded less than an hour ago. Kate was telling Ryan and Esposito what happened when she was in the building. Lanie walked over to her after hanging the phone up and they started going to their cars. She just got into an accident where she almost died and she was continuing her mission to find me. I sighed with relief that she was okay but, it pained my heart to know that she wasn't going to the hospital to make sure she was okay. I ran a hand through my hair and took a bite from the food off the tray.

"So, you can calm down now. I'm going back outside to watch the game. Oh, and here's the charger for that thing. The outlet is on your left." He threw the iPad charger at me and walked out.

* * *

**(K POV)**

It's been over three days and we still couldn't Castle. I felt like I wasn't trying enough. I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. It was 6 o'clock in the afternoon. We called Martha earlier today and told her that Castle was out of town working on the case. We lied. I couldn't get that out of my mind. I couldn't lie here worrying about the man I loved and have his mother and daughter thinking that he was alright. I got up and put on some sweats, an NYPD hoodie and my sneakers. I had to go tell them the truth. I grabbed my keys and decided that it would be best if I drove this time. I locked my door and went down to my car.

I knocked on the loft door. I didn't know how they were going to react to the news that Castle was kidnapped but, it was better than lying to them more than it was needed. Martha opened the door and gave a warm smile, "Beckett, what are you doing here?" I took a deep breath before spitting out the truth.

"Rick isn't on an out of town case. He was kidnapped from my apartment three days ago. I was beaten up and he came to get me but, we think the same guy who beat me up took Castle. We've been searching for him all this time and we still can't find him. I couldn't hide this from you anymore." I looked down at the ground as Martha put her hand over her chest and almost began to cry. Alexis walked in and ran to Martha to give her a big hug. Apparently, she heard the whole conversation and I couldn't blame them for crying. That was her son and Alexis' father. He wasn't even my boyfriend but, I cried myself to sleep every night since he's been gone knowing that he might not be okay. Martha looked up and grabbed my hand.

"Sweetheart, thank you for telling us. Come inside, I'll get you some tea." Alexis nodded and took me to the couch while Martha made some tea.

"Do you know when you'll find him?" the young redhead sobbed out.

"We've been searching all this week and can't find anything as to where he is but," I grabbed her hand and gave it a light squeeze, "I promise to you that I'll find him soon. I will not rest until your father is okay and back in your arms." Alexis got up and squeezed me.

"Thank you, Kate." I gently hugged back and pulled away.

* * *

"Esposito, have you found anything as to where Castle might be?" I asked while getting coffee from the break room.

"Not yet but, we're still trying to see if there was anything at that location yesterday that might've given any clues." He said while taking a bite out of his ham and egg sandwich that Lanie had made him for breakfast.

"I still can't believe that there was nothing there. No body_. Nothing_." I muttered to myself but, loud enough for Esposito to hear.

"I know but," he walked over and nudged me, "We'll find him, Beckett." I nodded in appreciation and took a sip from my coffee.

* * *

**(R POV)**

I opened my eyes and found that Tony had already put some food next to my leg. I picked it up and took a bite from the sandwich. I glanced over and saw that nobody was in the room with me. I finished the sandwich and checked the date on the iPad, it's been three days and I was still here without Kate, Alexis or anyone finding me. I picked up the iPad and realized that at the top of the screen there was a single bar. I guess that someone in another building had WiFi and I was receiving it. That meant that we were in an apartment if I was close enough to get a signal. I had to hurry up if I wanted to get out of here. I went to the app store, logged in to my iTunes account and quickly downloaded a texting app. I filled out the information and clicked back to the home screen. They wouldn't be able to trace the iPad that easily so I had to figure out where I was. I found the maps as fast as I could, it took what felt like forever to load and I found out where I was. Really? I wasn't even that far away from the precinct. I quickly went back to the texting app and tried to remember Beckett's number. Oh God. I was starting to panic so much that I forgot it. I searched my brain to find it and when it finally popped into my head I dialed it. I couldn't call her because if I did Tony or Lorenzo would hear me and right now it was 8 o'clock and probably thought that I was still asleep. I texted the address to Beckett and quickly went back to the home screen and deleted the texting app. If Tony walked in and saw that I had downloaded it, he'd probably kill me. I clicked the Angry Birds game when I heard someone twisting the knob.

"Hello." I furrowed my eyebrows when a pale Italian man walked in, he wasn't Tony. He had blue eyes and jet black hair. He had something bulging from the side of his hip. I would assume it was a gun.

"Hey." I said icily. I wasn't in the best mood. I had been locked up for a couple of days now and even though I was super excited about the fact that Kate would be receiving that text I just sent and she'd probably be here in less than an hour, I was still pissed.

"Tony thinks that your little detective is starting to figure things out so he wants me to shut you up a little bit. You know, get you a little scared so you don't try anything."

"Wha-." He pulled out his gun and pointed it towards me before I could finish my question.

"Say 'hello' to my little friend." He laughed and pointed his gun down for a moment, "I'm guessing you didn't think it was too funny but, that was supposed to be my terrible Scarface impersonation…." I continued to look at him with a terrified expression, "It was a joke, writer."

"So, you're not going to shoot me?" I gasped out the question as a sigh of relief came out.

"Oh," he laughed and shook his head; I smiled at the fact that I wasn't going to be dying any time soon, "That. Yeah, I was kidding about the Scarface thing, as for the shooting you. I was being serious." He pointed his pistol at me once again. My face fell once again. _Shit._

* * *

**(K POV)**

I heard a buzzing from my noise come from my desk. I ran over trying to see if someone was calling to say that they had seen Castle. I opened the text from an anonymous person and saw an address. I called the boys over and told them that we needed to head over there. I didn't know who would've texted me this, I've never seen this number in my life but, it was worth a shot. I rushed down to the parking lot after I got off the elevator. I prayed to God that Castle would be there.

I grabbed my vest from the back of my car and put it on. Esposito and Ryan were behind me. I knocked on the door and nobody answered. I heard shuffling around but nobody was there. The car that I saw from the other night wasn't outside and I almost told the boys to turn around until I heard a gunshot come from the inside. Esposito kicked the door down and I ran in with my gun pointed up. Nobody was in the living room so I slowly made my way to the closed door.

"Psst." The boys looked over at me as I made a 'come here' motion with my fingers. I kicked the door down and ran in. "NYPD! Put your guns down!" There was an Italian man holding a gun in his hand and there was a bullet hole on the other side of the wall. He turned around and tried to shoot me. I dodged it and Esposito and Ryan came in and took the gun away from him once he dropped it. "You have the right to remain silent…" Ryan began to tell him his rights and Esposito handcuffed him.

I turned my face and found Castle watching us with a grin on his face. It took me a couple minutes to figure out that he was actually real and I wasn't dreaming. Esposito and Ryan dragged the man out of the room and left me there with Castle. I took a step forward before realizing that he was handcuffed to a pole. I laughed softly and took out a key.

* * *

**You're welcome! Lol. You've all been waiting for them to find Castle & be prepared for the next chapter ;) The more reviews I get, the faster I'll upload it ;3 It' Caskett moment that I'm sure you'll all love. **


	10. Chapter 10: The Writer

**Chapter 10: The Writer**

I really really really suggest that you listen to the song that inspired this chapter because it's such a beautiful song & I felt that it fit because Castle is an author and Kate loves him that much. It's called 'The Writer' by Ellie Goulding. Please review. :)

* * *

_I turned my face and found Castle watching us with a grin on his face. It took me a couple minutes to figure out that he was actually real and I wasn't dreaming. Esposito and Ryan dragged the man out of the room and left me there with Castle. I took a step forward before realizing that he was handcuffed to a pole. I laughed softly and took out a key._

* * *

**(K POV)**

I ran up to him and quickly took the handcuffs off of him.

"Kate…" He whispered and pushed back a piece of my ear behind my ear. His ocean blue eyes never looked so magnificent. The minute I freed his hand he pulled me in for a huge embrace."I knew that you'd find me." I wrapped my arms around his neck and caressed the back of neck softly, just like he liked it. I cried into his shoulder; I never wanted to let him go. He was so close to getting killed in this room. I pulled back and checked his face for any bruises, blood or anything that showed that he was hurt. Luckily that bullet missed him. There was a huge hole inches from his head but it was in the wall rather than in his skull.

"I love you." I whispered before kissing him. I put all the passion that I was holding in for four year into this one kiss. It wasn't full of lust; it was filled with pain, tears, tenderness, and love. I never thought that I'd be able to see him again but, knowing that he was okay made me feel slightly better. I pulled away slowly and placed a small peck on his lips before opening my eyes and sharing a moment with him. My arms were still locked around his neck but I slowly took one of my arms and pulled it back. He had a piece of dark hair in front of his forehead. He looked so adorable with that cheesy smile plastered on his face like he just went to Disney for the first time and finally got to hug Minnie Mouse. I pushed the piece of hair across his forehead back into place.

"I love you." He said back after a few moments and pulled me back in for a hug. When he pulled back he saw that I started crying again. His eyebrows tied together confused but, he soon realized that I didn't think he'd be alive. He cupped my face with one hand and wiped away a tear that was rolling down my cheek with his thumb. "Hey, everything's going to be okay." He whispered before kissing me softly.

"I've got a plan, why don't you be the artist and make me out of clay? Why don't you be the writer and decide the words I say? 'Cause I'd rather pretend I'd still be there in the end only, it's too hard to ask, won't you try to help me?" I recited the words of a song that always reminded me of Castle. He pulled back and gave a small smile.

"The Writer by Ellie Goulding?" he whispered into my hair before he placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Castle? Beckett?" Ryan and Esposito ran back in after taking the guy down to their cruiser and saw that I was hugging Castle. I pulled away and told them he was okay.

Ryan smiled and gave us a playful wink, "Nice job sending Beckett that text message. You could've died if you weren't observing your surroundings and seeing that the wifi was connected.

Esposito walked over and helped Castle to his feet. "Do you know who took you from Beckett's apartment?" He asked immediately.

"Tony Fletcher. He says he didn't kill anyone though. I think I might as well tell you guys that he's an old friend of mine from my childhood. He wanted to buy some time from you guys and try to get a ticket somewhere. I'm not sure where he's planning on going but, I'm almost positive he is an accomplice. He told me that someone else killed Anderson and Hayes. I did hear Lorenzo and him talking about another body, which was probably the body that was in the building that exploded when Beckett was searching it." I stood next to him and his face cringed at the reminder that I had almost died in another explosion.

"Well, do you have any idea where he'd be right now?" Ryan asked while writing all this down in a notebook.

"I think I might have an idea." He nodded while making his way out the room with the boys.

I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath_. He was alive, he was okay, and he told me that he loved me back when I said it. _I put my hands over my face and tried to wipe away the stained tears that were on my face. Before I knew it, he slowly walked back into the room with his hands in his pockets and gave another famous Castle smile.

"You know, the boys are going out to look for Tony Fletcher." He said pointing behind his shoulder, "I never really got to thank you, Kate." He whispered taking another step closer.

"You don't have to," I said putting my gun back where it belonged, "I was just proving that I cared." He chuckled and nodded, taking another two steps forward.

"Do you think you proved yourself? Do you think that it's time I give you a chance?" He raised his eyebrows and tried to hide a smile.

"Hell yes. I got my ass kicked by a tall Hispanic man named Lorenzo, I was tied to a chair, I went into a building that exploded and I almost didn't make it, I almost got shot just now by-." I was rambling on.

His face fell to a serious expression but, his eyes were soft and playful. He walked up to me and placed his hands on the small of my back and pulled me in. _Thank God _I was wearing heels because if not he'd be towering over me even more than he was right now. I looked up into his eyes for the fifth time in less than twenty minutes. I think we stood there just staring into each other's eyes for a good ten minutes before he finally spoke up.

"Let me take you on a date, Kate." He whispered.

My eyes widened with the fear of having people finding out that I would soon be going on a date with Richard Castle. I placed a hand on the side of his face, "I don't-." He cut me off, trying to avoid rejection and make it less awkward.

"Please, we don't have to go anywhere fancy. In fact, we can go to Casa de Castle." A small smile formed on his face and I couldn't help but smile too, showing all teeth, "It's the least I could do for you, you did rescue me.

"I guess we're even then?" I giggled before looking down at his lips.

"9 to 9?" He whispered and his cool breathe hit my face.

I nodded and leaned in to kiss him once again, "So, dinner at Casa de Castle?" I said with a small giggle

He pecked my cheek and flashed a grin, "Tonight?"

I nodded and started to pull away. I had to catch up with the boys and bring Fletcher in for interrogation and Castle had to go home to tell Alexis and Martha that he was okay.

* * *

**(R POV)**

I walked into the loft and started to tidy the place up. Alexis started to walk down the stairs. The minute she saw me in the kitchen she ran full force towards me, "Daddy!" she jumped into my arms and sobbed into my neck. "I can't believe that you're okay. I missed you so much. I love you." She mumbled into the crook of my neck. My mother strolled in quickly and wrapped her arms around me once I let Alexis down.

"Richard, darling! We were so worried about you. It's been days since we last saw you. Are you okay?" She put her hand on the back of my head where there were bandages, "Oh my. I'm so glad that you're not as hurt as we thought you were. When Kate came over and told us that you were missing, we almost died. Sweetheart, don't you ever go missing again."

I laughed and shook my head, "I didn't go missing on purpose, mother." I rolled my eyes before giving her a big bear hug. I began to tell them what happened and how Beckett came and rescued me before I was nearly killed by one of Tony's accomplices. I told them that Beckett would be coming over later tonight for a dinner date and I'd appreciate if they left the house for a couple hours. I told them that I was planning something really romantic and wanted to give a great impression.

* * *

Kate found Tony Fletcher before he got onto his airplane. We took him back to the precinct to interrogate him. I had just gotten out of the hospital because they had to check to make sure that the cuts from the vase on the back of my head weren't infected. I stood inside the room and watched Kate interrogate him on the other side of the glass.

* * *

**(K POV)**

"Tony, you don't have a very good chance of getting out of here without some time in jail. If you cooperate, I can help you. If you didn't kill those three bodies, who did? What I think is that you got mad. You were upset that they didn't pay you on time and you went out and killed them. I think you tried to cover it up by putting them in the zoo and make it look like maybe someone else killed Anderson or maybe they were killed by an animal, except that animals don't stitch peoples' mouths up. If you weren't guilty there would be no reason for you to kidnap Castle and keep him handcuffed to 'buy time'."

"Look, I get that you're Castle's bitch and all but, honey, you got it all wrong. I didn't kill anyone." He shrugged and slumped back into his chair.

My blood started to boil when he said 'Castle's bitch'. I wasn't his 'bitch'. I tried to ignore his comment and went back to trying to get him to confess. "Then who killed them, Fletcher?"

"Maybe if you weren't so caught up having sex with your little boyfriend, you'd figure it out by now." _That's it_. I pulled him up by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in close.

"Who the hell killed them, Fletcher?" I snarled.

"How about this, you go back to step one. That's all I'm saying. I want my lawyer." I let go of his collar before strolling out of the interrogation room. I ran a hand through my hair and saw someone walk in with Esposito. Marcus Bryan. That was our guy. He wouldn't rat someone out like that without knowing more about the situation than he actually did. I stopped Esposito and told him to interrogate Bryan once more.

* * *

**Sorry about that you guys. Another cliffhanger. I didn't really give you one last chapter so I felt it was necessary ;) Please review. I hope you guys finally like the whole Caskett scene. Don't worry guys, I promised it would happen. However, the case isn't over so, things will still be there and be dramatic o: **


	11. Chapter 11: First Date

**Chapter 11: First Date**

Listen to the songs that I mention in this chapter. It sets the mood for the ending :)

* * *

_"How about this, you go back to step one. That's all I'm saying. I want my lawyer." I let go of his collar before strolling out of the interrogation room. I ran a hand through my hair and saw someone walk in with Esposito. Marcus Bryan. That was our guy. He wouldn't rat someone out like that without knowing more about the situation than he actually did. I stopped Esposito and told him to interrogate Bryan once more._

* * *

**(K POV)**

"Last time you came here you told me about Tony Fletcher?" I sat down and looked into his eyes.

"Yeah. Look what happened to your little partner. He was kidnapped. That's what happens when you mess with Tony." He said slyly

"You know, it's funny. You admitted to being at the zoo the night Anderson was killed but, you never did tell my _why_ you were there." I put my hands together and continued to stare at him with my eyebrows rising slightly.

"I was…" He tried searching for a reason.

"Marcus, I don't think you just had a random thought of wanting to go see the lions or flamingos. You wanna know what I think? I think that Anderson was another kid who wanted drugs and you met him somewhere. We already know that you knew him. So, you know him, you both have the same dealer, you are at the crime scene when he's murdered and you don't have a good reason as to why you're there at the zoo." I leaned forward and whispered, "I think you killed Anderson out of anger. I had Ryan look up your file after I interrogated Mr. Tony Fletcher. You have violence, theft and DUIs on your file. Let's imagine this; Tony was refusing to give you drugs because Anderson was paying twice the amount you were paying for better drugs. He felt like you weren't paying him enough or weren't paying enough so, he stops and you, being a substance abuser, get pissed. You meet up with Anderson and kill him. You stitch his mouth closed as a sick joke and just to keep it going, you kill Hayes too because he saw you kill him. He 'knew/saw too much' and that's why you stitched his eyes closed. Hayes was your accomplice, your partner in crime and when you found out he was getting ready to sell you out, you kill him. That girl you killed was another accomplice and you killed her and Tony's little friend placed a bomb there so you all wouldn't get into trouble. Tell me if I get warmer."

"Maybe you are, maybe you're not. You did leave out the part where Lorenzo beat the shit out of you and your little boy toy." I was having enough of this case. They were all sick and twisted. I walked around him and grabbed his hair and smashed his face against the steel table.

"You wanna say that again, Bryan? Tell me what you know. Why did you kill Anderson?" He let out a roar of laughter and started to speak.

"Kinky much?" I pressed his face harder into the steel. That was going to leave a mark.

"Bryan, I'm not fucking around with you! You killed Anderson and you got help from Tony Fletcher and Lorenzo the minute you killed him! Tony got upset that you killed his most loyal customer and you blackmailed him. You told him that you'd frame him if he didn't do as you asked. You all were going to leave the country the minute I started figuring everything out, weren't you!?" I pulled his head back up and twisted an ear.

"If you think I'm so fucking guilty. I want to see you prove it." He gasped as I twisted his ear harder.

I let go and stood by the door. A younger built Italian man walked in. His brown hair was tussled and his hazel eyes looked too eager. _Must be new_, I thought to myself. _Damn, why were there so many fucking Italians?_ He strolled in with a suitcase in his hands, fixed his tie and turned away from me and looked at Marcus.

"Marcus, I assume that Detective Beckett already told you your rights?" Marcus nodded and he shook hands with the younger lawyer, "I'm your lawyer, Brendon Tylers."

I walked out of the interrogation room and told the boys that I was going home and to keep an eye on Bryan, Fletcher and Lorenzo.

Before I walked out of the precinct Lorenzo made his way over to me.

"Hola, chica. Damn ma, I'm sorry I had to wrestle with you that one night. You really are beautiful," he winked at me and leaned in to whisper into my ear, "We could always wrestle in the bed next time." I leaned back, gave a grin and gripped on to his collar seductively.

I completely snapped and pushed him into the wall.

"There'll never be a next time once you get locked up for kidnapping and murder. Let me share some advice, don't drop the soap." I pulled back and glared at him before making my way to the elevator; leaving him speechless.

* * *

I walked into my bathroom and stripped my clothes off. I sent Lanie a quick text before hoping into the shower:

_**Come to my place. Dinner date with Castle tonight. I need help with wardrobe!" **_

I started to wash my hair and let the water take all the white bubbles from my hair down my body and into the drain.

I was so excited yet nervous that I was finally going on a date with Richard Castle, my favorite author, partner, and the man of my dreams.

I heard a beeping noise come from my cell phone.

_**Be there in 20. :P **_

I walked out of the shower ten minutes later and went into my bedroom, dried my hair and put on a red lace thong and matching bra.

I threw a robe on and ran to the door to greet Lanie.

She hugged me and let out a squeal, "Writer-boy and Kate sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g..." she started to sing and drag me into my bedroom laughing.

"I'm so nervous Lanie." I said while taking a seat on the bed.

"Sweetie, I don't know why. Writer-boy has been waiting for this for four years now. You could walk into his apartment with nothing but a paper bag and he'd drool over you. Regardless of the fact that you were naked." She shot a wink at me and pulled out a pink and tan sundress with a brown skinny belt across the middle and a small laced flower was in the middle of it.

I took it from her hands and she went into the closet to look for matching slippers.

I went into the bathroom, put it back on and then remembered that it was mid-November.

When I walked back out to tell Lanie that maybe I shouldn't wear flip-flops she stopped me and handed me brown heels.

They looked like a sneaker but they were wedges. I flashed a smile and quickly put them on.

My hair was dry now so I combed through it and let it fall around my shoulders naturally.

"You told him you loved him, right?" I nodded remembering the night that I went over to Lanie's and told her everything that happened between Castle and me after a couple days of him being kidnapped. "You're going to give me details later on, right?" she winked and I embraced her in a hug.

"You know, I never thank you enough. You're my best friend. What type of best friend would I be if I _didn't_ share some details with you?"

* * *

**(R POV)**

I opened the door and saw her standing there, the dress she was wearing was loose but hugged her body in all the right places.

I took a minute to look her up and down and take in all of her glory before making my eyes back up to see her hazel eyes full of joy and eagerness.

I reached my hand out offering my hand for her to take. She giggled and placed her hand in mine.

I intertwined our hands and gave a small smile before turning and taking her to the dining room. "Welcome to Casa de Castle. Tonight we will start off with a small salad made by chef Alexis and then we will have a full course meal of seafood noodles and we will end the night with a surprise dessert." I released her hand slowly, grabbed a glass of wine and handed it to her.

I walked over to the stereo, grabbed a small black remote and dimmed the lights.

I click another button and turned on the music to allow a soft flow of music float across the room.

I took a sip of wine, I grabbed her hand again and went to the table and pulled her chair out_. Be a perfect gentlemen, Rick_, I said to myself and pushed her chair in slowly after she sat down.

I walked across the room and took a seat in front of her.

* * *

**(K POV)**

We ate our salads in silence, locking our eyes occasionally and giving small smiles before I glanced up and saw him staring at me, "What?" I giggled and stabbed my fork into the last piece of salad.

"I'm just so surprised that you actually allowed me to have a chance with you. You came into my home and accompanied me and had a dinner date with me."

I reached over and grabbed his hand while looking into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I missed you too much." I gave a playful wink because I just turned a serious conversation into a playful one.

He flashed a smile and got up to go get a plate filled with seafood noodles.

He placed one down in the middle of the table.

I looked up at him with my eyebrows tied together.

"_One_ plate?" He chuckled and grabbed his fork as he sat down. He twirled a noodle and lifted it up, pointed it to me and waited for me to open my mouth.

I gave in slowly and opened my mouth to allow a cheesy moment just to satisfy Rick.

"I thought a cute 'Lady and the Tramp' thing would fit the mood." He chuckled and tried to get the other side of the noodle in his mouth.

After a couple of seconds he gave up and took it between his fingers and shoved it in his mouth.

_So much for romantic_. I giggled and started to eat the noodle that was in my mouth until we were inches away from each other.

As stupid as this idea was I couldn't help but give in a kiss him once his lips brushed against mine.

I pulled away and pressed my forehead against his, "You're such a dork." I leaned back and we continued to eat the rest of our food.

* * *

**(R POV)**

I got up from my car, reached my hand down and pulled her out of the chair.

"May I have this dance, my lady?" she giggled and shook her head.

"Castle, you know I don't dance." She whispered.

"Kate, with the way you were dancing in that club while working on that mission, I know that you're lying. You can dance; I'm not a fool." I chuckled and went around and grabbed her hands, pulled her from her chair and intertwined our fingers once again.

I dragged her to the middle of the living room and changed the song to play Elton John's 'Can't You Feel the Love Tonight'. She snickered as I gave a smile. Her eyes twinkled as I pulled her closer to me.

"Trying to relive your childhood, Rick? Disney songs and a Lady and the Tramp impersonation?" She whispered, leaning her head against my chest and placed on arm around my neck and one hand in mine.

I let the intro bring us into our own slow dance. I took a couple steps back and raised my arm to allow her to go under and twirl.

I didn't let her fully turn however; I stopped her and brought her against my chest.

Her back was to me and I let my arms snake around her and bring her against me.

I placed my head on her shoulder and slowly moved our bodies with the rhythm of the piano in the background.

"God, I missed you so much, Rick." She mumbled as I closed my eyes and continued to rock our bodies to the music.

"You know, I almost died while I was locked up in that room and all I could think about was you," I twisted my head to look at her, "and the rest of my family but, I was waiting for you to come rescue me." She smiled and the song ended.

I pulled back and saw her looking down. Mary J. Blige's 'Be Without You' started to play.

_When did I put this on my playlist?_ I turned to look at the stereo and heard Kate walking towards the counters.

She placed her hands on it and seemed like she was upset.

"Kate…" I walked behind her, placed my hands around her waist and kissed her neck softly, "Don't be upset. I know you missed me. I get it but, it's in the past. Tonight let's just have each other. We can talk about this whole situation later on."

"The past? I just got you back this morning, Castle." I sighed as she spat out my name like it was something she didn't want.

"Baby just…" I stopped myself from speaking when she turned around at the sound of the pet name. "Kate…" I corrected myself and leaned in, placed my forehead against hers and stared into her hazel eyes that made my heart melt.

"Rick…" I gave a smile that showed all teeth and leaned in slowly; I loved when she called me Castle but, 'Rick' coming from her lips just made me feel different.

It was funny that 'The Writer' by Ellie Goulding started to play on the same day that Kate had recited lyrics from the song to me.

I pressed my lips against hers tenderly.

I took my time slowly kissing her, not yet putting my tongue anywhere near her mouth.

I had to take things slow, not just for her but, for myself.

I have been waiting for her to love me back for four years and I didn't want her to think I only wanted her to jump into my bed the moment I stuck my tongue down her throat.

The lights dimmed a little more and her arms moved from her sides, up my chest and linked around my neck.

I lifted her slowly off the ground, cupping her ass and placing her down on the counter.

I parted her legs slowly and placed myself between them.

I left my hands on her thighs and started to brush my tongue across her bottom lip.

She opened her mouth slightly, allowing access.

Our tongues played a game of wrestling before I pulled away.

One of her hands moved to my face, cupped it and then moved to my forehead.

* * *

**(K POV)**

I stared into his eyes as my hand moved up to his forehead and pushed a loose strand of hair out of his face; his hair was getting really long.

I contemplated ruining the moment by sharing this thought with him but, I kept it to myself and made a small reminder to tell him later.

His hands slowly felt down my bare legs and continued to look into my eyes.

A famous Castle smile spread across his lips and the piece of dark hair that I had moved out of his face slinked down again, the dim light softly touched his face.

He looked so adorable yet, had a edgy sex appeal to his new look.

I ran two fingers along his jaw line.

The stubble from his face tickled my hand.

I'm guessing he didn't shave when he got home and went straight to showering, getting ready and setting this all up.

I pecked his lips before giggling.

I was doing a lot of that tonight when I know damn well that I usually never do that; mentally I frowned, this man was completely changing me.

"Giggling? You never giggle, detective Beckett. May I ask what has you all giggly tonight?"

It freaked me out that he seemed like he read my mind but I flashed a smile at him, almost giving him a hint of why I was in such a good mood.

"You did all of this for me, Rick. I can't believe that you went from my annoying shadow to my partner, not only at work but someone that I wanted to be with. You're the love of my life, Richard Edgar Castle." I said as I pressed my forehead against his.

"Kate Houghton Beckett, I wouldn't have this any other way." He playfully touched his nose against mine and chuckled.

"So how long did this take?" I said leaning back and pointing around the room.

"An hour. However, there is one more thing we haven't gotten to yet." I furrowed my eyebrows and he picked me up bridal style, took me to his bedroom and placed me down on the bed.

I leaned against the silk blanket and felt rose petal all around me.

I took a minute to look around and saw a bunch of candles lying around the floor looking a like something from a romance movie.

Richard Castle was full of surprises.

I pulled him on top of me and pushed the back of his head, allowing me to crash our lips together.

He allowed his hands to roam over my body before pulling away.

"As tempting as this seems. I want everything to be perfect and although this seems perfect to you, I want to take my time with things, if that's okay with you?" I looked at him confused.

Rick Castle did not want to have sex?

With the bulge straining against his black slacks it didn't seem that way.

I smiled and gave a small laugh at the joke he just made about 'wanting to take things slow'.

After moments of him looking at me seriously I couldn't help but wonder.

"You're being serious, Rick?" He nodded after I finished my question. "Well, alright then. Why is the bedroom like this if you don't want to make love to me Castle?" I asked, sat up and played with his right ear.

He looked down and chuckled, "As dumb as this may sound, I wanted to give you a massage. Silly, I know but, I felt like maybe a massage would relax you? You seem tense."

I nodded in approval as he began to strip me of my clothing, leaving me in nothing but my undergarments.

* * *

**(R POV)**

"Red lacy bra with matching thong, detective? Did you think you were getting lucky tonight?" I flashed a smile and stuck my tongue between my teeth and laid down on my stomach. Castle handed me a glass of wine and put oil on his hands.

I was running my hands in soft circles along her back, I made my hands go further down towards her delicious looking ass but, contained myself enough to go back up to her neck and placing soft wet kisses down from her neck to the small of her back.

I was going to tease her as much as possible.

I continued to rub her back and made my way down to her legs.

I gave her ass a nice squeeze and continued going lower towards her bare legs.

I made it down to her feet and pressed my thumbs of the arch of her foot, massaging her allowed low moans to escape from her lips.

I went back up once more and pressed my lips against her ear, "I love you." I whispered and kissed her temple.

* * *

**I know you guys probably hate me for not giving you hot steamy Caskett sex but, can you please be nice. I did give you guys a _super_ long chapter filled with Caskett love o: Plus, there were a couple of steamy moments. I mean, look at the paragraphs above. That's not only a massage filled with love and passion but it seems to be pretty steamy. Please give a review? :c Lol. I love you guys but, I want to take my time with them. I want them to be filled with love not _just_ lust. I get that they've been waiting four years for this and Rick is probably wanting to get into her pants already but-**

***Richard walks in* Hey! It's not _my_ fault.**

**Castle, what are you doing here? You know that you chose to take your time with Beckett.**

***Kate walks in too* Yeah Castle, can't you tell how much I wanted you in that scene?**

**Exactly, don't blame me. I just write these things down. Plus, it's kind of cute. Kate, don't be_ so_ mean. He did give you a massage.**

**K: True, true. I forgive you, Rick.**

**R: Thank you *flashes a smile* **

**Okay guys, get out of my area. This is my moment -_- You guys had over 4,000 words in this chapter. Let me get my normal 100-200 words in. . Sheesh. **

**R+K: Fine, grumpy. I get that it's like 2:45AM while you're editing this but, you could at least be a little nicer.**

**What?! I'm always nice to you guys. Pfft. . I love you guys .**

**R+K: Whatever *they wink and run off***

**Anyway!, like I was saying before they interrupted me, please review and let me do my job. I want to build their relationship up a little more. Oh, and don't tell them that I told you this but, there will be some Caskett trains heading to smutville soon c; *whispers***


	12. Chapter 12: Case Closed

**Chapter 12: Case Closed**

I don't really have a song for this chapter so, use your little imaginations lol.

* * *

_I went back up once more and pressed my lips against her ear, "I love you." I whispered and kissed her temple._

* * *

**(K POV)**

I walked into the morgue smiling from ear to ear.

"Hey, how was last night?" She squealed while taking off her gloves.

I continued grinning and lifted my hand up to stop her from bouncing all around the room like Aracuan from the Disney films.

"It started off with salad and dimmed lights with music floating in the air, then we went to the meal of having seafood noodles; by the way, Castle is even more of a child than we thought. He threw in a Lady and the Tramp scene for us. We slow danced to Elton John and shared this amazing kiss before he took me to his room an-."

"You two had sex?!" Lanie screeched before I finished.

"No! Lemme finish." I rolled my eyes.

"Mhh. That's a shame, I'm sure he would've done some nice this to make that stress leav-." She started to mumble.

"Lanie!" I shot her a death glare before giving a small smile.

She put her hands up; facing her palms towards me, "Go ahead."

I shook my head before going on with my details from last night.

"He took me to his bedroom and I thought we were going to finally do something and believe me Lanie, _I _wanted it. He stopped me though and said he wanted to take it slow."

Her eyes went wide and she put her hand up to stop me, "Hold up. Rewind. Mr. Richard Castle, wanted to take things slow with you? After four years of waiting to strip you out of your clothes?" Her tone was showing disbelief like as if I were playing a sick joke on her.

I gave another glare, "Yes. Now stop interrupting my story."

She shook her head and put her hands on her hips.

"Anyway, he gave me a _very_ sexy massage. Lanie, I'm going to tell you this right now, that man definitely knows how to use his hands." I gave an involuntary groan, the type of groan you give when you eat a perfectly delicious chili dog or some of your mother's cooking.

"What?! I wish Javi would do that to me." She crossed her arms in jealousy and allowed me to finish.

"During that whole massage he took out chocolate covered strawberries and we fed them to each other. Not only was there a lot of sexual tension but, it was probably one of the most romantic nights I've ever had."

"Oh my gosh. You two are just too cute!" Lanie jumped up and down before composing herself and making sure she tried to act professional.

* * *

Castle walked in less than a minute later while I was explaining how he massaged my back.

"Knock, knock." He chirped while knocking on the door frame.

"Good morning, Castle." Lanie and I said simultaneously.

"Esposito wanted me to come down and ask if you found anything dealing with this," Castle strolled over to the bodies, "guys." He crouched down and found something that Lanie must've skipped over.

"Well, nothing new. The killer really hid all traces of evidence."

I watched as he examined the body with Lanie. His slacks hugged his ass perfectly. _Was there anything about him that wasn't sexy?_ I thought to myself. I felt something inside of me that seemed to shoot straight to my core. The way he was biting his lip while he tried to tell Lanie about something she might need to check once more was turning her on.

"Castle, I've checked this body over twenty. I'm sure there are no fingerprints."

"Just check it once more." He poked his lip out to make an adorable puppy dog face.

I tried sitting down on the chair but every way that I sat felt uncomfortable.

I couldn't help but undress him with my eyes. Stripping him of that coat along with that red dress shirt on the inside that had two buttons undone.

Lanie was examining the legs of one of the victims where there was a small bruise the size of the top of someone's pinky finger.

She was searching for any fingerprints that she might've missed.

Rick made his way over to the chair beside me and turned to look at me.

"Good morning, beautiful." He leaned over and whispered into my ear, "I hope you had a good night." His voice was husky.

He was trying to remind me of that sexy massage he had given me.

My breathing became a little shallow as I tried to keep myself from pouncing on him and stripping every piece of clothing off of him.

"Yeah…" I whispered into his ear, "I had an excellent nice. We should do it again sometime." I moved my hand to play with the buttons of his dress shirt.

His eyes dilated for a moment and his lips parted slightly; probably from the same thoughts I was having.

We heard someone clear their throat and we shot our heads up to see Lanie staring at us.

"Look, love birds, you both know you need to control yourselves in this precinct. You don't want Gates coming in and seeing you two like that." She pointed at my hand on Rick's chest.

I pulled away and placed my hands in my lap.

"Anyway, I found fingerprints. Castle, you were correct, I must've missed that. Strangely, I never do but, I have matching fingerprints on both victims."

I got up and walked up to see where Lanie was pointing.

"Right here," Castle pointed so I could find it.

"Well, who is it?" I asked and turned my stare from the victim to Lanie.

"Mr. Marcus Bryan." She stated before turning to the other victim.

"So, I was right." I claimed.

"Yes, maybe we should go get the boys and go search for him?" Castle suggested.

We all nodded and Castle and I made our way up to the 12th.

"Do you think he'll be at the bodega?" Castle turned to look at me and I shrugged.

"Most likely. It is his day at work but, he wanted me to prove that he was guilty so he may not be there." The elevator made a dinging noise and we walked around to the break room to get Esposito and Ryan.

"Boys, we have to go get Bryan." Ryan turned around sipping a cup of coffee and Esposito turned with a bagel shoved in his mouth.

"Mhh?" Esposito groaned his question.

Ryan rolled his eyes and looked to Castle, "Castle, you look a little too happy today."

"Forget that, Ryan. Let's go." I scolded before grabbing my vest and gun to go find this sonavabitch.

* * *

**(R POV)**

I followed Kate into the bodega. She had her hands close to her gun and quickly called out for Marcus Bryan.

Nobody answered but we heard a shuffling sound come from the back.

She crept around and found someone in black placing a black bag down on to the floor.

"NYPD stop and get on the ground!" She shouted and took out her gun to point at him.

He tried to make a run for it but Esposito stop in front of his with his gun pointed directly at him.

"If you just put your hands up and get on the ground, we don't have to shoot you." He suggested and waited for the person to get on the ground.

Ryan ran up and handcuffed him quickly. He brought him up to his feet and Kate walked over to unmask this mysterious person.

"Marcus. Tsk tsk tsk." She gave a sly smile and shook her head. "I guess I proved it, now didn't I?"

Lanie walked in and went to unzip the black bag. The manager of the store was in there with his throat cut open.

"Good work detective." Marcus whispered while Ryan and Esposito took him to the cruiser.

I turned and high fived Kate, "We finally ended the case. No more stress of a serial killer for a while!" She nodded and pulled me in for a quick hug when everyone left.

"Tony Fletcher, Lorenzo and Marcus Bryan are going to be proven guilty for the murder of these innocent people.

"Case closed." I laughed and dragged her out to the car.

* * *

**Yeah, so I'm sorry that this chapter is so short but, I gave you all a really long chapter 11 with their date. I'm pretty bored with this case so I decided to close it and take some time with Caskett lovin' before I start up a major case again (I'll probably just have little cases here and there but, won't elaborate too much). I hope you guys enjoyed it c; Review please? For the Caskett? :D *puppy dog face***

***Caskett walks in* Yeah! Review for us :) **

**Geez, again? How many times do I have to shoo you two away? .**

**R: But, we love you!**

**K: . Fine, we'll get off until the next chapter.**

**Thank you!**

**R: . Pfft. Writer's block is really getting to you.**

**. Yes, I know. Castle, Beckett, go please. I have to think up a new chapter.**

**R: Alright *steals a coffee from my table and run off* c:**

**K: Sorry about him. . . He is...well, you know...**

**Yeah -_- **

**Anyway, guys review for this lovely "couple" even though they're not yet official and review for the case that is now closed! See you all soon :D**

**A/N: *important MUST READ*: okay, so, I had a couple viewers complaining about the "Point of View" changings. -_- SO, I took time out of my day to go back and edit every single chapter & put in the POV's before they changed as you can see in this chapter. I'm kind of tired of people telling me to stick to _one_ view. No. I'm not going to stick to _one. I _am the author of this story and I'm not trying to get upset here but, you have to see where I'm coming from...I choose it this way for a reason: it's easier for me to write longer chapters this way. Plus, some people want to see it in Kate's POV and some want it in Rick's POV. You get a glimpse into their heads and how they feel. If it's 3rd person...that's exactly it...THIRD person. You don't really get to see how those characters are thinking or feeling. You _"see"_ it so to speak. I like the way I'm doing this and I love my viewers and the ones taking time to give constructive criticism _so_, I'm going to continue doing it my way but, give a little heads up before I change the POV.**

** K POV = Kate's POV. **

**R POV = Rick's POV.**

**If I have a different person's POV such as Ryan, Esposito, Alexis, etc. I'll take time to write their name out so it doesn't throw you off if I have another R POV (Ryan POV). I'll make it easier and type out their name b/c it's not usually in their POV. **

**Please review. I hope this will make it easier for you so that you're not getting confused and again, I'm sorry for the short chapter. Writer's block is killing me and I wrote a really big chapter at 2:30 this morning. Not that I'm complaining b/c I love writing these stories! :) Thank you. **


	13. Chapter 13: Paintball Style

**Chapter 13: Paintball Style**

I'm going to give you the song that you should listen to right before you get to the part b/c I don't want to ruin anything for you all ;) 

* * *

_"Case closed." I laughed and dragged her out to the car._

* * *

**R POV**

I leaned against my chair and stared up at the ceiling.

My hands were crossed over my stomach and I kept exhaling loudly.

The precinct wasn't having anything interesting going on.

It's been this way for a good week since we had that one 'Jigsaw' case.

It was extremely boring and all Kate was doing was paperwork.

We had small cases here and there but, nothing as amazing as usual. It would be small things that lasted a couple hours before we figured it out.

It's been two days and no dead bodies have dropped. I don't wish death upon anyone but,-." Kate cut me off in the middle of my thoughts and pinched the bridge of her cute little nose.

"Castle, if you're bored then, head home. I can't concentrate on this if you're over there breathing louder than a kid with asthma running a mile in less than ten minutes."

I leaned in my forward in my chair, placed my lips next to her ear and started to whisper, "That's a good simile. However, I can cause you to be out of breath fast than a kid with asthma running a mile. If you know what I mean." I leaned back and winked.

She licked her lips as her pupils dilated.

She turned her stare towards her paperwork; trying to distract herself from the images flowing in her head.

We haven't done anything dealing with the bedroom other than the occasional massages.

"Ugh." Esposito groaned and placed his head in his hands.

We glanced over to his desk and laughed, "You alright, Esposito?" We asked simultaneously

"This is so boring!" He groaned and kept scribbling down stuff on the papers.

"You know," They all snapped their heads to look at me, "You guys are almost done with this," I said pointing down at the stacks of paper, "So, let's go do something fun."

"Castle, we have work to do." Ryan stated the obvious pretty sad because it seemed like he wanted to go have some fun with me.

"Fuck it. Gates knows that you guys work your ass' off." I stood up and looked at each and every one of them.

"Castle, we can't just drop everything and go hang out." Kate continued to work on her paperwork without looking up.

"Then how about this, I'll help fill out some papers and if we hurry up we can go hang out somewhere and have a good time." They nodded in agreement. Bingo, I gave a good suggestion. Mental fist pump, "Let's go paintballing." I threw out another suggestion.

"That would be fucking awesome! We'll kill you in that game, Castle. We're cops!" Ryan high fived Esposito.

* * *

**K POV**

We strapped on our gear and grabbed our guns.

"Look, I don't want you two on the same team." Castle explained while picking up his gun.

"What?!" Ryan whined.

"You two are too good together. I want Esposito." Castle grabbed Esposito's shoulder and pulled him next to him.

"I get Kate?" Ryan looked over at me.

"In case you forgot, I'm really good at shooting and you don't need Esposito to win. We can win, Kevin." I placed my arm around his shoulder and gave a sly grin to Castle.

"We'll see about that. Plus, we're the only ones here so, it should make this a lot more fun and more challenging. Let the games begin." Castle pointed his finger down; trying to tell us we were "going down" and wouldn't win.

"Have fun, Espo. You have writer-boy with you. Have fun defending your team because Rick can't shoot for shit." I winked and ran off.

"Liar!" Castle yelled as I ran off to hide.

I was hiding in one of the small bushes as I watched Rick wandering around.

He didn't have any paint of him but he was pretty shaken up, I'm guessing he knew someone was close.

I waited for him to turn his head and pulled the trigger of my paintball gun. A orange colored ball splattered near his abdomen.

"What the fuck?" He placed two fingers against the paint, looking down at the orange on his gloves and looked up to find someone moving.

I tried to contain myself from giggling by covering my mouth.

He must've heard a small giggle from the bushes I was in because he made his way over towards me.

He pointed his gun towards the bushes and heard something snap from behind him.

He quickly turned around and pulled the trigger back quickly.

A neon green ball splattered on Esposito's vest.

"Thanks, bro." He whispered sarcastically.

"Sorry, I thought you were Beckett." He hissed back.

"You've been searching for her this whole time?" Esposito questioned.

"Well, she said I suck at shooting. I want to prove her wrong." He used his little boy voice and turned again to search for me.

"Whatever you say. Anyway, are you two….?" Esposito tried sneaking in a conversation about us.

"No. Why do you ask?" Castle quickly answered.

We weren't official but, we did want to keep things on the down-low.

"The way you two have been looking at each other. The way she hugged you when she found you…" Esposito was throwing things out of his mouth like it was nothing.

"We're great friends. She missed me; she didn't think I was alive." He continued looking through the bushes.

I aimed my gun towards Esposito and pulled my trigger down.

A neon yellow ball splattered on his thigh.

He turned his head and shot a death glare at Rick.

"What the hell was that for?" He growled.

"That wasn't me?" Rick looked down at the neon yellow on his gear.

"Well, it came from over there." Esposito walked over to the bushes.

"Maybe Ryan or Beckett is in the bushes. I've been searching all around them for a good five minutes." I started to crawl away slowly.

I didn't want to get shot just yet or at all for that matter.

Ryan walked behind them, stood behind a tree and began pulling his trigger like he was in a war.

Numerous colors splattered over the two searching in the bushes.

They looked like rainbows trying to dodge more colors.

I got up, ran behind a tree and placed my body against it.

I poked my head around the tree to take a chance shooting Esposito once more.

I felt someone behind me; I held my breath, turned around and saw Rick wiping his now yellow and orange goggles.

* * *

**R POV**

"Hey there, sexy lady." I placed my goggles back on my face and shot Kate a couple times while she tried to run away.

She threw herself on the ground and looked pretty hurt.

A groan slipped through her lips.

I ran over to her and leaned over her.

"Kate, are you okay?" I tried to picked her up because she was holding her leg in pain.

Her gun pointed to my chest and she pulled the trigger, "Gotcha." _Fuck._

* * *

**K POV**

We won the war of the paintballing.

I high fived Ryan.

"So, you two lost. I think I have a very good idea as to what you should do since you lost." I placed my hand on my chin and smirked at them.

"Woah, that wasn't a part of the game." Castle said quickly.

"Too bad. It is now. That's how we play the game." I put a hand up.

"Ugh. She's right." Esposito groaned in defeat.

* * *

***Okay guys. Play Gangnam Style on Youtube or wherever you listen to music. This should be good ;)***

I pulled out my video camera and placed it down on my desk.

Ryan rolled next to me in his chair.

Everyone was in the precinct today and everyone was diligently working.

We heard the speakers start to play a beat. Ryan turned his head to smirk at me.

Everyone looked around the precinct to see what that noise was.

The elevators opened slowly and Castle and Esposito strolled out, wearing black retro sunglasses, black short shorts, white Nikes and a white t-shirt that had the sleeves cut off and showed their mid-drift.

I had to contain myself from busting out laughing as everyone stared at them with their jaws hitting the ground.

"Op-Op-Op-Oppa Gangnam style!" the speakers were bouncing near the elevator as PSY's Gangnam Style started to play.

The strolled in to the middle of the room and began to shake their hips to the music.

They danced around each other and then the beat dropped.

They each walked up to someone and said "Oppa Gangnam style!"

They backed up and started to do that little dance where they're hoping from one leg to the other and did that lasso arm swing.

They would never live this down.

Lanie walked in and ran towards me.

"What the hell is going on here?" she squealed into my ear and Esposito ripped his shirt off.

"They're," I started laughing, "doing what they have to…" I couldn't breathe, "They lost." I finally got out and I watched them continue dancing around.

Rick got up on my desk and placed his hands on his hips.

He did a couple of pelvic thrusts as the musical beat dropped once again.

He then did that one thing in the video where you move your hips with your hands on them and looked down at me, "Ayeeeee. Sexy lady!"

My mouth dropped.

I don't care how stupid he looked; the way he was pelvic thrusting was actually quite a turn on.

Esposito danced his way over to us and sprayed water all over Castle and himself.

Rick ripped his shirt off too and jumped off the desk; _Oh Lord_.

He went down on the floor as Esposito danced over him.

"Oppa Gangnam style!" they kept chanting.

Esposito pointed at Lanie, "Ayeeeee. Sexy lady!"

They both got up and pointed their fingers forward before Gates pulled a string and a handful of confetti flew onto the boys, "Oppa Gangnam style!" They shouted simultaneously.

As much as Gates disliked some of the things we did, she found this rather funny and insisted to join in; just this once.

Everyone clapped as the boys placed their hands on their hips and took a couple of deep breaths.

Lanie, Ryan and I busted out laughing extremely hard.

I don't think we've ever laughed that hard but, knowing that we had this on video didn't make it any better.

We tried gasping for air as we laughed.

The boys picked up their shirts, swept up the confetti and ran to the bathrooms to change into their normal clothes.

* * *

**R POV**

I walked into the living room to find Alexis and Kate laughing while watching the Gangnam Style video that she recorded earlier today.

Alexis' face was blood shot red and the minute I came in the room she laughed even harder.

Kate covered her mouth laughing when Esposito sprayed water on my body in the video.

Alexis got up from the couch and whispered something to Kate.

She nodded and Alexis headed out the door to go on her date with Ashley.

"What was that about?" I frowned.

"She wanted to go on her date. She said she wanted a copy of the video. Plus, she wanted us to have some alone time."

She got up and walked over to me before placing her arms around my neck.

"You two are good?" I asked, remembering how Kate told me Alexis lectured her about this relationship.

"I suppose. I really enjoy having her around." She pressed a kiss on my jaw and made her way to my ear making sure she nipped it.

"You know, I want to take this slow but, when you do things like that. It makes me want to change my mind." I whispered; my voice was raspy.

"We've taken things slow for four years. Please," She slide a finger down my chest and cupped me through my slacks.

I groaned and pulled her closer, "Kate. Let me just take things a little slow for once. No need to rush." I whispered and placed my head near her neck and sucked on her pulse point.

"_Shit_. Don't do that if you want me to wait."

I pulled away and smirked.

She pulled my face back down towards hers, "Actually, screw that. If I have to wait I want a good make out session."

She pulled on the collar of my shirt and pulled me on top of her on the couch.

I began kissing her neck and whispering in her ear, "Girl I just want to see you strip." She moaned slightly as I rubbed myself against her thigh.

* * *

**Okay guys, I had to throw Gangnam Style into a chapter. In fact, I was looking up videos online and found out that A.W.M actually wants the Castle cast to dance to this song. I didn't even know that o: I felt so cool throwing this in a chapter and not even knowing he actually wanted this. I had a really fun time throwing this in there. I had writer's block yeseterday (once again.) & I needed a break. Plus, I was giving chapters back to back so, I felt I deserved a good break. This chapter is probably one of my favorites writing (next to Chapter 11: First Date.)**

**R: I can't believe you made me do that *talking to Kate***

**You know, you two are always barging in. The same time. Every time -_- You know what though? I'm in a pretty good mood so, you can say good bye to the viewers today with me until the next chapter (Which, I'm about to start writing.)**

**K: See! She liked it. Thus, Ryan & I choosing that as your losing thing was a good idea. Plus, I think Lanie & I enjoyed seeing you two covered in water and short shorts. Even Gates liked the idea!**

**R: . Fine. It was pretty funny though.**

**K: At least we gave you a week to prepare for it. **

**R: . Esposito wanted me to get on that desk.**

**K: It was really sexy *grabs hand***

**. Uh, guys, you can say bye now. **

**R+K: Bye! :D *walk off***

**. Well, anyway, review for those two love birds and next chapter will be very sexy c; *MAYBE* Teasing you all is very fun :3 **


	14. Chapter 14: Look but, Don't Touch

**Chapter 14: Look but, Don't Touch.**

I suggest you listen to the song mentioned in the beginning and towards the end listen to Chris Brown's 'Wet The Bed' & 'Beg For It.' Enjoy.

***Warning: If you're not a big fan of the train heading to smutville then, skip this chapter and just wait till later on for the next one of till tomorrow. You've been warned.***

* * *

_I began kissing her neck and whispering in her ear, "Girl I just want to see you strip." She moaned slightly as I rubbed myself against her thigh._

* * *

**K POV**

I got up and pulled him up his tie. He smirked and got up willingly.

I pushed him down on the chair, "Now, Ricky baby, you can't touch me. You have to keep your hands on the chair." I whispered into his ear and walked away to the bedroom.

I made sure to grab some of my red lingerie along with a skirt and white dress shirt over my bra.

I made way to the living room and saw him fidgeting with his shirt.

His eyes darted up when he heard my stilettos hitting the wooden floor as I made my way to the stereo and put on Christina Aguilera's 'Nasty, Naughty, Boy.'.

I strolled over to him making sure to sway my hips enough to make his mouth open.

His jaw was practically hitting the floor.

"You think I've been bad enough, Castle?" I whispered his name seductively.

He nodded quickly and tried to find a comfortable position in his chair.

I walked around him and ran my hands all through my hair; giving it that 'just had sex' look.

His eyes followed me as I continued to walk around the chair.

I stopped in front of him and slowly took a piece of the skirt I was wearing and lifted it slowly to show my bare thigh.

His breath quickened as he started to reach his hand up.

I swatted it away and pulled on his tie, "You aren't allowed to touch, Mr. Castle." I nipped his ear and turned around to show my ass.

I strutted back to him, climbed slowly over him and played with the stubble on his jaw.

"I wanna give you a little taste of the sugar below my waist." I sang along with song and turned my body so my back was to him.

I got up and walked behind him. I ran my hands down his chest and gave a small moan into his ear.

A groan escaped his lips.

I didn't want him to touch me yet.

I wanted to tease him.

I swayed my hips in front of him, turned to face him and slowly unbuttoned three buttons of the six on my shirt.

I placed my hands on his thighs and moved up; wanting him to see the amount of cleavage that was showing.

I could see the bulge growing in his pants.

I touched everywhere but that area.

I licked my lips seductively and grabbed his tie, pulled him forward, brushed my lips against his then, pushed him back down on to the chair.

His grip on the sides of the chair tightened as his knuckles got white.

I took the rest of my dress shirt off, agonizingly slow; flashing a big grin at him just to show him that I knew what this little strip tease was doing to him.

"Don't you want me Castle?" He nodded frantically.

Castle grinned and waited for me to continue.

I turned to again show him my back and bent over while taking off my skirt.

He groaned again. "Dammit, Kate. Please. Let me touch you." He whispered; his voice was husky.

I shook my head and turned my head to grin at him.

I ran my hands down my body; torture filled his eyes as he saw me grip my breasts.

I made my way to him and leaned over him again, I grabbed the top of my thong and slowly brought it down; so slowly that he began to sweat just looking.

I grabbed his right hand and placed it inside of my underwear. "God, you make me so wet, Ricky." I quickly took his hand out after he got to feel the wetness between my thighs.

His pupils dilated, he licked his fingers slowly and continued to look at me while I took his tie off slowly and made my way to unbuttoning his dress shirt.

I kissed his chest, made my way to where his shoulder and neck met and gave a hickey.

I leaned back, sat on his lap and slowly let my hands wander over my breasts, making sure to touch them enough to tease Rick.

His hands made his ways to my thighs and rubbed slowly.

I pushed his hands away and got a low throaty groan from him.

He didn't want to _not_ touch me.

I took the bra off and placed it on his shoulder.

He glanced at it and made his eyes go straight down to my now exposed chest.

"_Holy fuck_." He muttered and tried to keep his hands on the sides of the chair which was beginning of have a slight crack from the way his hands were gripping it.

I pried his hands from the side of the chair and placed them on my breasts; allowing him to touch me.

His hands knead them tenderly and he looked into my eyes.

I moaned as he flicked his tongue over one of my nipples.

I ran my hands through his hair; gripping it tightly causing him to groan as he sucked down harder than he already was.

I pulled him away even though I didn't want him to stop. I crashed my lips into his. He sucked on my bottom lip; driving me crazier than I already was.

"Do you still want to take your time? We can stop this right now. We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Fuck it. I can't wait any longer." He picked me up, wrapped my legs around his waist and headed to the bedroom.

I landed on the silk sheets of his bed as he climbed over me.

* * *

**R POV**

She flipped us over on the mattress put her finger on my mouth reminding me not to protest and she went south on my body.

My shirt ripped off seconds earlier and so were my pants.

I was only in my boxers at this point and she was only wearing her thong; which I was ready to rip off her.

Her hands rubbed along my thighs and she made her way closer to the bulge showing in my boxers.

She licked her lips seductively as she stared into my eyes. Her mouth left wet kisses just above the waistband of my boxers.

I lifted myself up, leaning on one arm; watching her as she pulled my boxers down.

Letting all of my manhood spring out.

She looked up at me again before letting her tongue swirl around my swollen tip.

I watched her circled her wet tongue lower and I felt my muscles flex, but then she rose to watch my face again.

I closed my eyes as she took me all in.

I had to pull her from me before I hit that first climax. "Kate, I won't last if you continue doing that."

She bit her lip and batted her eyelashes innocently, "Fine."

She kissed me and smiled against my lips.

I flipped us over, made my way down on her and kissed her stomach.

I let my hand feel through the very thing keeping me away from the one thing I've waited to see for years.

I placed my fingers underneath the waistband and pulled the thong down agonizingly slow.

I threw the thong across the room, allowing it to slide down the wall and end up in the pile of my clothing.

I kissed the inside of her thigh, "Tell me that you want me." I whispered, allowing my cool breath to hit the wetness between her thighs.

"Oh. Rick, I want you." She moaned.

I flicked my tongue over her clit; swirling over it.

I took my time, closed my eyes as I enjoyed the taste.

Peaches and cream.

I flashed my eyes open and looked up at her as she squirmed. I grabbed her hips and kept her in place as I flicked my tongue faster.

Her hands gripped the sheets underneath her.

I pushed two fingers into her, slowly pumping and then speeding up.

She screamed into the pillow next to her as she hit cloud nine. My lips fell from her lips.

I pulled my fingers out, kissed my way up to her lips, placed my fingers in her mouth allowing her to taste herself, then licking them dry myself.

"What do you want me to do, Detective Beckett?" I whispered in her ear.

She moaned, "Fuck me." I didn't hesitate to grab the condom next to the bed, rip it off and hand it to her.

She rolled it down my shaft and waited for me to continue.

I gripped her waist and placed my tip right above her entrance.

"Fuck. Don't tease." She whimpered.

I smirked and slowly pushed my tip into her, I wanted her to beg for me, "Me? A tease? Never!" I chuckled against her shoulder.

* * *

**K POV**

I pulled out my seduction card.

"Castle, please. I need you. I need all of you. Take me, Richard. _Fuck me_." I whispered into his ear and nipped his earlobe.

I wrapped a leg around him and tried to push him into me.

He finally pushed himself into me.

_Fuck, he was big_.

I wrapped my legs around his waist; he continued to thrust into me after I adjusted to his size.

He tangled his hands in my hair and pressed wet kisses on my face, neck and stopped above my right breast.

He sucked hard and left a hickey, "We're even now." He mumbled.

I raked my nails on his back.

He continued to thrust.

"More. Faster." I pulled his face down, kissed him and gripped the back of his head.

He sped up, bit my lower lip softly and continued thrusts.

There was nobody I loved in this world more than Richard Castle at that moment.

I was pushing my hips up to meet his thrusts.

"Right there, Rick." I gasped as he hit that perfect spot.

I was reaching the point of ecstasy.

When I did, I reached it hard.

I could feel him twitching within me not too far behind. He let himself go.

His forehead rested against mine and I snaked my arms around his neck.

"I love you, Kate." He whispered out of breath against my mouth as he kissed me.

"I love you, Rick." I smiled against his lips, "Let's make sure we continue doing it this good." I teased.; I was out of breath.

"Always." He bit his lower lip and pulled out; laid down next to me and looked at me with one arm under his head; trying to catch his breath.

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed that. I really enjoyed writing it ;) This scene goes out to the people who have been waiting forever to read a Caskett sex scene in my story. Obviously Castle and Beckett will not be interrupting my talking this time *high five* ;) Anyway, review so, I can make you another wonderful chapter. I really hope you enjoyed that little strip tease in the beginning. ;D**


	15. Chapter 15: Total Eclipse of the Heart

**Chapter 15: Total Eclipse of the Heart**

Yep. Listen to that song. It kind of threw me into this direction with Alexis. c: 

* * *

_"Always." He bit his lower lip and pulled out; laid down next to me and looked at me with one arm under his head; trying to catch his breath._

* * *

**R POV**

I woke up to feeling someone against my chest.

I opened one eye and then the other; trying to adjust to the sun shining in the room.

I pulled my arm from over here and lifted myself up slowly.

She stirred and gave a small whimper when she felt me leave the bed.

I placed a pillow next to her; she grabbed it and cuddled into it with a small smile.

I walked to the bathroom, looked at myself, and saw that I looked ridiculous.

My brown hair was tangled; I had pieces of lying across my forehead.

I brushed my teeth quickly and put the boxers next to doorframe on.

When I walked out she turned to face me.

Her bare chest, sexy tangled waves of hair, and the sunlight was floating onto her skin like water.

She ran a hand through her hair and looked down smiling.

I leaned against the doorframe pointing at my hair, "I look a mess."

She giggled and nodded in agreement.

I walked towards her cheesing and crawled onto the bed; planting a kiss on her lips and pulling away to rest my forehead against hers.

"I love you." She whispered before pulling me on top of her and devouring my lips.

"You were right," I said between kisses, "I had _no_ idea."

She bit her lower lips, "You liked it?"

I raised my eyebrows, "_Loved it_." I planted wet sloppy kisses all over her face.

She started to giggle and placed her hands on my face to pull me away, "Stop." She breathed out after stopping herself from laughing.

I looked into her hazel eyes and just hovered over her. Her hands were placed on the sides of my face, one finger grazed over my lips gently.

You're so beautiful." I whispered.

She gave a small smile and pushed some hair from my forehead, "You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Castle." She kissed me, pushed me to the side and strutted to the bathroom.

"You're going to take a shower?" I asked quickly.

She turned around, exposing all of her body to me, took her index finger and made a 'come here' motion, "You're welcome to join me."

* * *

I pushed her into the tile wall; her body was slippery from the water and soap.

My hands cupped her ass as I leaned down to kiss her shoulder.

I continued thrusting into her.

We had only been in the shower for ten minutes and were already having sex.

I felt her walls close around me before she completely collapsed.

She bit into my shoulder trying to muffle her shouts of ecstasy.

After we finished playing around we cleaned each other off and occasionally planting kissing on each other's neck.

I smiled into her shoulder; her back was against me.

She was washing her hair, I wrapped my arms around her body; pulling her close.

"Kate, I love you. I love you so much." I nuzzled my face into the crook of her bare neck.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and let the shampoo wash from her hair.

* * *

**K POV**

I wrapped my arms around his waist while he put on his slacks.

I buried my face into his back and sighed.

"Kate? Are you okay?" He asked; buttoning his pants.

"I never thought you'd mean this much to me, Castle." I mumbled.

He turned around to face me and placed his hand on the side of my neck.

"I don't think I've ever been this far in love with someone like I am with you. I'd do anything for you." He whispered before kissing my cheek and walking to the closet to grab a dress shirt.

I muffled a laugh beneath my hand.

"What?" He turned around and grinned from ear to ear.

"I can't stop thinking about that Gangnam Style dance you were doing. You know, that pelvic thrusting was really hot."

He walked up to me and placed his hands on my hips as he slowly rubbed himself against me in that same motion he made on the desk at the precinct, "This?" He whispered into my ear.

I bit my lip and nodded trying to calm myself.

"Wanna go for a round three?" He whispered into my ear suggestively.

"Richard, Darling!" Martha chirped while walking into the room and seeing us against each other.

Rick still had his hands on my hips, his dress shirt was open and my hands were on his chest.

"Hello, Mother." He smirked at her.

"I can see you two are busy. However, I need to talk to you in the kitchen, darling." Martha pointed to the kitchen and walked out as Castle nodded.

He buttoned his dress shirt quickly and strolled to the kitchen to meet Martha.

I turned around and saw the sheets were all over the floor.

I walked over to them and began to pick them up.

No wonder Martha thought that we looked busy well, that and the fact that we were all over each other.

* * *

**R POV**

"Alexis called, she's really upset right now and I think you should go pick her up. She's at Ashley's house. Apparently, they got into a big fight. She needs to be picked up." She explained.

"Okay. Well, I'll go get her right now." I said and started searching for my keys.

"She was crying while she was on the phone with me, it must've been bad. In fact, bring Kate with you." She called for Kate and Kate walked in the kitchen with a smile.

"Yes, Martha?" Kate chirped.

"Richard is going to get Alexis from Ashley's house and apparently, they got into a big fight and she's crying. I need you to go with Richard so he doesn't kill a young man tonight." Kate laughed and nodded; she grabbed my keys and walked out.

"Thanks, Mother." I gave a playful glare and walked out.

* * *

We drove into Ashley's neighborhood and found Alexis and Ashley screaming at each other.

Kate hopped out of the car and made her way to Alexis, grabbed her gently, and pulled her to the side; trying to calm her down with words.

I parked the car, made my way to Ashley and stood over him; towering over his scrawny frame.

"You listen here, if you ever make my daughter cry again. I mean ever. I will beat your ass so bad that my Detective Beckett here," I pointed at Kate and stared back down at him; my eyes filled with fire, "Will have to take me to jail and when I get out, I'll come back and kick your ass some more. Do you understand me?"

"Alexi-." He tried explaining himself.

"Do. You. Understand. Me?" I growled.

He nodded his head, placed his hands in his pockets, started to walk away, and then turned around to look at Alexis.

"I told you I love you. If you're going to believe some blonde ex-girlfriend who means nothing to me and lied to you, over me, you obviously don't believe me when I tell you I love you. You may not want to say it back or believe me but, you're everything to me." He didn't wait for her to reply; just walked away.

"Ashley you cheated! That's not love! You're a goddamn liar!" Ashley screamed at him; Kate tried holding her back.

Alexis went down on her knees and began to sob.

"You never loved me, Ashley! You lied. You're just like everyone else!" My heart hurt, I didn't like seeing my daughter cry; let alone cry over some goddamn boy.

I walked over to here and lifted her into my arms, took her to the car and placed her in the backseat which Kate was occupying as well.

I got in the driver's seat and started driving home.

* * *

"His ex-girlfriend told me that he slept with her. Apparently, he's always gone back to her when she comes into town." Alexis sniffled.

"Honey, some boys are just scum. I used to have a boyfriend who did the same thing. He'd cheat so many times and I'd stick around because I loved him. However, coming from personal experience, I suggest you get your independent butt out of the relationship if he did lie to you. You don't need a boy that's going to hurt you because of his jackass mistakes." Kate soothed her and rubbed her back.

"I don't understand how men can do that. They think—scratch that.—they never think about others when it comes to sex." She wiped her tears from her face.

I looked up at the mirror and saw her give Kate a hug, "That boy is no good for you, sweetheart."

"I love him." Alexis whispered and looked down.

"Did you tell him that?" Kate asked.

Alexis shook her head, "The worst part, is knowing that he told me he loved me and I want to say it back so bad but, then the night I'm going to, his ex tells me he cheated." She ran her hands across her face frustrated.

"I get that you love him but, if he cheated on you, there is no reason to stay with a boy who causes you pain and doesn't think about you; he thinks with his dick and it's wrong of him to do that." I spat out. I disliked Ashley more than ever now. I wasn't too fond at the thought of him making out with my daughter the first night I met him with that gun in my hands but, _now_….I loathed the way he made my sweet Alexis cry.

* * *

**K POV**

"I feel so bad about what happened with Alexis." I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I don't like that boy. She needs to leave him if he did cheat on her." He spat.

I kissed him slowly, "I know but, if he was telling the truth about not cheating she'll have to let him explain." I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Kate?" He looked down at me.

"Yes?" I looked up.

"I know I have that 'Playboy' representation but, I'd never cheat on you for any of my exes. I love you."

I looked down, I wanted to believe that but, it still scared me. I nodded and kissed him once again.

Rick, are we officia-." I was about to ask him where we stood and if we were going to make things official but his phone rang.

"I have to take this." He grabbed the phone out of his pocket, "Hello?"

I turned on my heels and laid down on the bed.

"Yeah, I know. The book will be finished before… Yeah."

I closed my eyes slowly and drifted to sleep.

I'd ask him some other time.

* * *

**Review please. I'm ready for Castle's new episode in 5 days :D Once I watch that, my energy level on this fanfic should go up a lot c: It's throw ideas at me left & right. :D Review please. Sorry for the short chapter -.-**


	16. Chapter 16: You Are My Rock

**Chapter 16: You Are My Rock**

I really, really, really, suggest listening to the song (the title of this chapter) by Beyonce. It's toward the end of the chapter and I guess you can go listen to whatever else for the beginning. 

* * *

,

_Rick, are we officia-." I was about to ask him where we stood and if we were going to make things official but his phone rang._

_"I have to take this." He grabbed the phone out of his pocket, "Hello?"_

_I turned on my heels and laid down on the bed._

_"Yeah, I know. The book will be finished before… Yeah."_

_I closed my eyes slowly and drifted to sleep._

_I'd ask him some other time._

* * *

**3rd POV.**

"You know, we could always just hang out this weekend?"

He placed his hands at her side and pulled her close to his broad chest; taking in her aroma of cherries and vanilla.

"As tempting as that sounds, Castle. We both know I have to go out of town for a case and you can't come along."

She smiled, stood up on her toes and softly planted a kiss on his lips.

"I'm going to miss sex," He covered his mouth playfully, "I mean; I'm going to miss you." He corrected himself, playfully.

Kate shook her head and walked towards the living room where her luggage was.

"You'll be back on Monday, right?" He pouted with his baby voice in play.

"Rick, it's only one week— in fact it's less than that. Only around 5 days — I think you can handle yourself. I just have to fly over there, catch the suspect. Send him back over and come home the day after. Plus, I could use a little spa day in Italy."

"Why'd you have to volunteer to go to Italy?" He whined.

Again, poking out his lower lip and giving those childish puppy dog eyes.

"I need to get this suspect and I wanted to get out of New York for a couple days. Who wouldn't want to go to Italy?" She grinned and stuck her tongue out.

"Can I please come? We could catch him faster and," He snaked his arms around her waist, pulled her in closer and kissed her temple, "We could have some fun, too."

His voice was husky.

"Maybe I could get Gates to allow that. Plus, I am your muse."

She leaned into him.

She sighed softly as he trailed kisses down her shoulders.

"Italian Heat? Foreign Heat?" He chuckled at his own bizarre ideas of a new book.

She rolled her eyes before getting a call from the precinct. She was supposed to be flying out tomorrow.

* * *

**K POV.**

I walked onto the platform with my luggage rolling behind me. Castle was on my heels with his luggage, too.

Gates agreed that though Castle was a little bit of a dumbass — my words; not hers — that it would be good for his series and to get him out of her hair.

Plus, his theories would help me find this guy faster.

Especially, if he's not where we think he may be.

"Castle, while we're over there please remember that this is professional. We're catching the guy and then leaving. That's all. This isn't a vacation."

Castle smirked & placed his luggage down so it could go through the machine.

"My dear detective, no need to tell me." He playfully winked and took his shoes off along with other items so he could walk through. He didn't want the security thinking he was a terrorist.

I was putting my heels back on and grabbing our luggage once he passed through.

* * *

"This is beautiful." He breathed, star struck. He had his forehead practically glued to the car window to get a better glimpse of the city.

"I agree. I did say that we weren't on vacation but," He turned to face me and gave a sly grin.

"Oh. Kate, you're having second doubts? You want one night to us, don't you?" He whispered.

His eyes shining as he smiled ear to ear; pleased that my professional act was out the window for now.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Okay, just one night wouldn't hurt us."

The car stopped, Castle had already paid him in Euros before getting in the taxi.

* * *

**R POV**

I tightened my tie before walking into the bathroom and fixing my hair with my comb.

We had a small date tonight.

It was beautiful in Italy and we simply couldn't keep it professional the whole time. Heck, we have five days to find this guy. The most we needed was two, maybe three tops.

We needed one night just to have fun.

Regardless of our jet-lag.

Kate walked in wearing a blue sparkly dress that I bought her a couple weeks ago.

"Mister Castle, aren't you looking rather handsome tonight?" Kate grinned playfully.

I walked up to her and placed a hand on her hip.

"Sexy," I whispered, getting a fake gasp from her lips at the choice of my words, "I was talking about myself," I chuckled.

She slapped my chest and stuck her tongue out at me.

"You look good too, though." I kissed her neck softly before whispering, "Beautiful." into her ear.

"Nice save." She giggled.

I took her hands in mine and headed towards the door.

We were already ready.

* * *

Before heading out to dinner I wanted a night to walk around; showing her something different.

I squeezed her hand softly before opening the front door of the hotel for her.

"You think they have snails on the menu here?" She wondered out loud.

"I was thinking the same exact thing!" I exclaimed.

"We'll just have to see, I guess." She shrugged.

I pulled her in closer to my side and placed and arm over her shoulder.

"Where are we going, Rick?" She questioned after ten more minutes of walking.

"Well, we weren't too far from Verona so I decided we should walk over and see Juliet's statue." I nodded in the direction of the statue.

"I haven't heard of Verona since high school. Reading Romeo and Juliet." She mumbled, dreading the thoughts of high school.

"I have always loved the story." I poked at her side, "I assume you didn't?" I questioned.

"Don't get me wrong, Shakespeare was amazing. However, the falling in love in one day and the fact that this happen in what? A week? It was so irrational. I thought

the story was kind of cheesy." She shrugged against my side.

I gasped softly, "Love is always irrational! I mean, look at us. I like to think we're not your typical couple." I chuckled before getting a death glare.

"You're a page 6 playboy author and I'm your mundane NYPD homicide detective. Of course we're not typical. We're from two different worlds. We can't make sense

on paper." She explained slowly.

"So what? We don't need paper to define our love." I smiled.

She looked down at her feet as we walked and tried to hide the blush that crept onto her neck and cheeks.

The sunset was beautiful.

We continued our way to Verona.

We finally made it.

I walked over to the statue. Kate laughed and followed along with a couple fans that recognized my muse and me.

They snapped a few pictures with me and I signed a couple of books filled with names of other famous celebrities that were in Italy.

"Page six." Kate popped and went over to admire the statue.

"They say that if you rub her right breast it'll bring good luck." I looked up at the statue.

"Sure." She dragged the 'ure' part to emphasize her sarcasm.

She refused to touch the statue in such a weird manner.

I didn't rub it either and continued to walk on.

We went off to one of the small cafés and ordered a few things off the menu that we'd never heard of.

Sadly, snail wasn't on this menu for this restaurant.

I'd have to remember to take Kate to another before we left.

* * *

**K POV.**

Our bodies crashed together.

I ran my nails on his scalp softly. I moaned into his mouth as he ran his cool tongue over my bottom lip.

His swollen lips pressed against mine perfectly.

Tomorrow we'd go get our killer, but tonight, tonight, was just about us.

"Caskett", as Richard called us.

I ran a hand down his neck to the tie that was another barrier from getting his blue dress shirt off.

In that moment I realized we matched tonight.

I untied it quickly and threw it to the side of the hotel bedroom.

It hit the wall and slide to the ground before I threw his dress shirt there as well.

I ran my hands over his chest.

He wasn't the most muscular guy.

He didn't have the chiseled body with the six pack abs but the fact that he was so confident definitely made his body even more attractive than I already found it regardless of the fact that he didn't have a six pack and was a little chubby.

My mind began to race back to a couple of weeks ago.

* * *

_"Sweetie, what are you going to do about this?" Lanie asked._

_She ran a hand through her dark hair and rested her head on her left hand._

_"I'm not quite sure. We've only been together for a couple of months. How do you think he'll take it?" I whispered a question._

_"He raised Alexis. Kate, he's been waiting for you for four years now. I highly doubt he'll leave you because of this. He's not a teenage boy in high school. I'm almost positive he's going to be more than happy about this."_

_I slightly smiled and tried to think of ways to tell him ab—.  
_

* * *

"Are you okay?" He pulled away; almost breathless.

My thoughts went out the window and back to the present.

"Y-Yeah." I stuttered and kissed the crook of his neck.

"You sure?" He rested his forehead on my shoulder; planting a soft kiss on it.

"I'm positive. I just want you, Rick." I slightly smile and pecked his lips quickly before going back to what we were doing before.

He let out a groan when ripping the last piece of clothing from me and exposing the moisture between my legs.

Sure, we've made love a numerous amounts of times (Regardless, that we've been together for only a couple of months), but he never got tired of this.

I never got tired of feeling him thrust into me and gently kissing my shoulder.

I don't think I'd ever get tired of him.

I knew he was my one and done. He always was.

Since the day he got the mayor to let him follow me.

I knew that eventually, no matter how many times I denied it, we'd hit it off.

We came so far.

He continued to thrust while my train of thought was completely going away.

He always knew how to make me forget.

Forget the pain of my mother's murder, the memories of losing my father, too.

I forget everything when I am with him.

"Kate, lighten up, baby," He breathed into my shoulder with a soft nip on the crook of my neck.

I glared at him playfully at the pet name.

He knew I hated them, yet he continued to do it.

I had to forget the conversation with Lanie. I knew that it would be hell if I told him what was going on.

* * *

**R POV**

I kissed her hard and kneed her perfectly round breasts.

I wasn't sure what was on her mind, but I knew whatever it was it wasn't helping either of us.

She was in La-La Land while I was here on earth attempting to make love with her.

I tried to pick up my speed slightly to give her a new feeling and try to get her back to me.

She quickly snapped out of her thoughts with a small pout.

Her teeth grazed my shoulder.

She bit her lower lip slightly.

Her eyes rolled back until she closed them softly allowing me to see that beautiful facial expression she makes before she reaches that cloud 9.

I hit my breaking point right before she did.

She scraped the back of my shoulders; trying to grip me closer to her.

We were less than an inch apart but to her I must've been a lot farther.

"Rick!" She moaned into my ear, breathlessly.

She crashed her lips against mine once more before I pulled out and lay beside her.

She crawled on to my chest and pressed an ear against it.

* * *

**K POV**

I was listening to the steady heartbeat that was pounding in his chest no longer than ten minutes ago.

He rubbed small irregular shapes onto the back of my arm.

I heard a small gasp fall from his lips as he mentally face palmed himself.

"What?" I leaned off his chest and put my weight onto my left arm where I stayed and leaned my head into my hand so I could get a better view of his face.

"I forgot to put a condom on. You are on the pill, right?" He whispered with a small, apologetic smile.

"Of course." I half lied.

"Good!" He exclaimed.

"But…" I began.

"But…?" He waited for me to continue my question.

"But, what if the pill didn't work? Would it be so bad if I were pregnant? Hypothetically speaking." I questioned, again.

"Well, there would obviously be the pros and cons, but," He laced his fingers into my hair gently, "I'd prefer if we waited." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead before leaning back down onto his pillow.

I sighed and lay myself back onto my pillow.

_If only you knew._

* * *

We strolled a couple of blocks down and found our lead suspect trying to find a way to hi-jack a smart car.

I ran up to him before he could see me and pointed my gun to him, "Leo Venice, you're under arrest for the murder of Amanda Prince." I told him his rights.

It wasn't as exciting as Castle thought it would be due to the blank expression that was plastered on his face.

The back-up I had come along drove him off to the plane that was waiting to take his ass back to New York.

* * *

I walked up to Castle slowly, "I told you that you wouldn't want to come." I chuckled.

"Yeah, but last night was amazing." His eyes darkened with lust at the thought of yet another night that we shared during our trip to Italy.

I pushed his chest lightly before escorting him back to the hotel where we got our things.

It took us two days to find Leo.

We almost found him the first day but Castle got in the way and I had to push him down to the ground, allowing Leo to run off.

The second day we just couldn't find him, but luckily I knew that he wasn't very far and we got lucky when back-up spotted him a couple blocks down.

* * *

When we got back to the hotel I started throwing Castle's clothing into his luggage bag.

"What are you doing?" He asked, walking out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

I had to contain my thoughts because I needed him to pack up and go on his flight in three hours.

"You have to go. I want a day to myself and I'll be there tomorrow or so." I smiled softly and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Really? But," He let his lower lip poke out in a childish pout.

I cut his sentence off, "Castle, just go. I promise, I'll be there tomorrow. No matter what happens." He turned around to put on some clothes.

I slapped his perfect ass - that showed the tone so much better through that thin hotel towel -and continued on throwing clothes in his luggage case.

"Fine, but you _have_ to be there as soon as possible. One day to yourself and then you'll be back in New York with me?"

"Promise." I walked up to him and wrapped a pinky around his.

* * *

I hugged him as tight as possible before he walked off to go on his private jet back home.

"Wait!" I shouted as he walked away and handed the luggage to someone.

He turned around confused but started walking back towards me.

I ran up to him full speed and jumped on him; almost knocking the wind out of him when I crashed my lips on his and tasted the coffee he just finished drinking.

My hands ran through his silky dark brown hair.

He slowly placed me down on the ground after a minute of lip-locking.

"I love you." He whispered against my lips before pulling away.

"I love you. Always." I reassured before planting one last kiss on his swollen lips and backing away, allowing him to walk on the jet and wave one last time.

* * *

I leaned against the doorframe before slowly lowering myself to the ground and looking down at my phone.

The picture of Castle and me in the Precinct lit up my cell.

A grin was then plastered on my face before I got a call from Lanie.

"_Hey, girl."_ Lanie chirped.

"Hey, Lanie." I chirped back.

"_Did you tell him yet?"_ I knew that she wasn't going to let me live with this and not tell Castle about it.

"Not yet. He's on the jet back to New York right now. I needed a spa day for tomorrow. I'll be back in another day. When I get back I'll figure out how to break the news to him."

"Okay, you need to tell him as soon as possible, girlie." She explained.

"I know, unfortunately." I sighed; running my hand through my thick brown curls.

I continued talking to her over the next hour about a strategically put together plan on how to tell Rick about my secret.

I hung up the phone and went to the shower to rinse myself off.

I was planning on getting a massage before I left back to New York.

I might as well hurry up and go a little quicker.

Castle needed to know already.

I put my pajamas on and looked up as the hotel ceiling, missing the spot Castle used to be.

* * *

Before I knew it my alarm was going off on my cell phone. After a couple of times of clicking snooze over and over again, I lifted myself off the bed and got myself ready.

The lady said I had extremely tied knots in my upper back so she placed these really hot rocks on my back to loosen them up before she started actually massing me.

I closed my eyes as I thought up the scenario where I told Castle what I've been hiding for a couple of weeks now.

There was one where he'd be really happy and would tell me he was excited and loved me so much, but the other was one of us fighting.

I knew that Lanie was right when she said he wouldn't leave me for something like that because he's a grown man not a sophomore in high school.

I relax once the heat of the rocks started kicking in.

* * *

I was waiting on one of the chairs as they continued to let people get on their plane.

I missed my flight.

I thought I booked it for three in the afternoon but I must've been exhausted because I booked it for three in the morning.

The lady at the counter was nice enough to help me get the next flight because her brother was a cop and she knew how much work I had to do once I got back to New York.

Once we were about to take off, I plugged my headphones in.

I had a really bad feeling so, I sent Castle a quick text before we had to shut out phones off.

_**Rick, you're my rock. I love you, never forget that. I just wanted you to know how much I love you. I'll be in New York soon, Castle.**_

_**P.S Go listen to Beyonce – You are my rock. It reminds me of you.**_

I clicked send, held the power button and placed the cell phone in my back pocket.

* * *

We were just above Italy, not far from where we took off, but before we could completely take off and head to New York, the plane started shaking.

I took my headphones out, opened my eyes and saw everything freaking out.

"Ladies and gentlemen, try to remain calm. We're having minor diff-." Before the flight attendant could finish her sentence, the plane started crashing.

I was happy that I could send that text before this happened because with everyone getting scared about us crashing; I knew these were my last minutes on this earth and I couldn't have asked for a better couple past days and months with Richard Castle, the love of my life.

I can finally meet up with my mother.

I wasn't sure how to react but before I could, we hit the ground.

Smoke from the flames filled my lungs.

* * *

**R POV**

I smiled down at the text before sending her a text back:

_**I love you more than anything, excluding Alexis and Mother. Lolol. I can't wait for you to come back home! :P I've missed you, Kate c; See you soon, I love you.**_

I went back to clicking the letters on my keyboard.

The trip to Italy really gave me some steamy ideas for a start to my new book, Foreign Heat.

I chuckled at the memory of telling Kate how I'd call the book that.

I smiled at my laptop screen as saved the chapter and heard my phone go off.

"Castle." I smirked and chuckled. I didn't check who was calling, but I assumed it was Beckett.

_"Castle, Kate's been in an accident."_ Javier tried to hide the emotion in his tone.

I panicked at the words that just went in my ear.

"Accident? What accident?! Is she okay!?" I threw questions at him as if I were interrogating a suspect.

_"She was on her way home and the plane crashed. They just called. They didn't find her body. They think she could be one of the many bodies left in the flames but they said…."_

My throat closed.

I waited for him to finish his statement.

He cleared his throat, obviously trying to keep his cool.

_"They said nobody is alive. Castle, Beckett's dead."_

I clicked the end button before throwing the phone at the wall and falling to my knees.

The video I clicked on before I got the call from Esposito must've been buffering because it started playing right on cue.

* * *

**SONG LYRICS (YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ THE LYRICS BECAUSE THEY REALLY SHOW SOME EMOTION OR YOU CAN JUST GO LISTEN TO THE SONG)**

Oh oh oh I, oh oh oh I

_[Verse 1:]_  
If I wrote a book about where we stand  
Then the title of my book would be "Life with Superman"  
That's how you make me feel I count you as a privilege  
This love is so ideal  
I'm honored to be in it  
I know you feel the same I see it every day  
In all the things you do  
In all the things you say

_[Chorus:]_  
You are my rock  
Baby you're the truth  
You are my rock  
I love to rock with you  
You are my rock  
You're everything I need  
You are my rock  
So baby rock with me  
I wanna kiss ya, feel ya, please ya just right  
I wanna touch ya, love ya, baby all night  
Reward ya, for all the things you do  
You are my rock  
I love to rock with you  
I love to rock with you  
Oh oh oh I

_[Verse 2:]_  
If I were to try to count the ways  
You make me smile  
I'd run out of fingers  
Before I run out of timeless things to talk about  
Sugar you keeps it going on  
Make me wanna keep my lovin strong  
Make me wanna try my best  
To give you what you want and what you need  
Give you my whole heart, not just a little piece  
More than a minimum,  
I'm talking everything  
More than a single wish,  
I'm talking every dream

_[Chorus:]_

_[Bridge:]_  
If there's options I don't want them  
They're not worth my time  
Cause if it's not you, oh no thank you I like us just fine  
You're a rock in the sand  
You're a smile in a cry  
You're my joy through the pain  
You're the truth through the lies  
No matter what I do I know that I can count on you

Oh oh oh I, oh oh oh I

_[Chorus:]_

Oh oh oh I, oh oh oh I

I wanna kiss ya, feel ya, please ya just right  
I wanna touch ya, love ya, baby all night  
Reward ya, for all the things you do  
You are my rock  
I love to rock with you  
I wanna rock with you.

* * *

**R POV**

I let the tears fall to the ground.

The memories of just a few days were swarming in my head.

She couldn't be dead.

She promised that she'd be home today.

I must be having a nightmare.

* * *

**Alexis's POV**

Dectective Esposito just called telling me about the accident with Kate.

Gram was in the shower right now.

I ran into my dad's office.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw the heartbreaking sight in front of me.

His head was in his hands, he was on his knees, his hair was tussled more than usual, he was sobbing.

Dad never let me see him cry, but… Today, was different.

I finally realized how much he loved Beckett.

My eyes watered.

I leaned in front of him, pulled his head up and brushed the hair out of his face.

Tears stained his face.

I cried with him.

Not only because someone I loved was crying but because Katherine Beckett just died.

"I heard what happened, Dad. I'm so sorry." I sobbed into his shoulder.

He pulled away and wiped his face quickly.

No matter what he always tried to protect me, he didn't want to show that sign of weakness; crying.

He pushed a strand of my fiery hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead, "Lift your head princess, your tiara is falling." He tried to lighten the mood but I knew he was breaking even more inside.

"Dad, you don't have to act strong right now. I know that you're not okay. It's okay to cry sometimes."

His eyes were filled with tears.

He looked down at his lap before letting tears fall down.

"She's gone. What do I do? How do I just get over this? Two days ago we were fine. She asked me about having another kid. She was speaking hypothetically, but I knew that one day I wanted that. Would you've liked that? A baby brother or sister?" He choked out breathlessly.

"I would've loved that. We can't change anything now, though." I whispered.

Gram walked in and ran to us.

She hugged Dad tightly when she saw how red and puffy his eyes were.

We rarely saw him cry.

He didn't cry during his divorces with his past two wives – one being my mother – and he never cried about anything that we knew about.

Things were going to change around here.

I knew in my heart that my dad would _never_ get over this and he wouldn't be getting a full night of rest for a long time.

I looked over and saw the phone on the floor and a picture of Kate on my dad's back was on his desk. They were grinning like love struck teenagers.

He followed my gaze and saw the picture on his desk.

He slowly made his way over to it before picking up the frame and running a hand over her face.

He placed it down once more.

We gave him one more hug before walking out the office, wiping our faces and letting him have some time to take all this in.

* * *

**R POV**

Katherine Beckett, the love of my life, homicide detective, and the one who I was going to settle down with was dead and I'd never get her back.

* * *

**Okay. I know, I know. You all hate me. BUT, I haven't updated in a good month (exactly lol, I think). I wasn't able to because I don't have my computer so I had to wait until I got hold of one and my birthday was a couple of weeks ago so I couldn't do it then either. I updated twice as long as I usually do. This is about 5,000 words when I usually only make my chapters 1,900-2,900... 3,000 tops. This one is really long so before you get your pitch forks out please realize that I stayed at this computer for a good three hours writing a great chapter for you all. **

**Now, as for the cliffhanger, leave a review ( I love em, & it helps me write more ;3 ) lol. I know I'm going to get so much hate because I just "killed" Kate but continue reading because I have a VERY good plan on how to develop this story. It's a Caskett fanfic not a Richard Castle only fanfic.**

**RC: You killed, Beckett *comes in crying* D,:**

**Look, Castle, I get it but you need to relax. You're acting like the viewers right now. I understand you're upset but you need to chillax. Go drink a coffee and take some deep breathes with the boys. Everything is gonna be alright. **

**RC: Okay *sniffles and walks away***

**Pfft. Even when Kate isn't here he has to interrupt my conversation with you all.**

**Anyway, please leave a review and understand that I'm extremely sorry for not updating, but 4,000 words should make up for it a little bit, right? *puppy dog face* Pweeeaassee? **

**No? Okay :c**

**LEAVE A REVIEW AND I'LL WRITE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!**

**Thanks for reading the chapter :) & Stay tuned. **


	17. Chapter 17: Flowers for a Ghost

**Chapter 17: Flowers for a Ghost**

Listen to the song (title of the chapter) by Thriving Ivory. It helps give the feeling of this chapter.

* * *

_Katherine Beckett, the love of my life, homicide detective, and the one who I was going to settle down with was dead and I'd never get her back_

* * *

**R POV**

I ran a hand through my hair and made my way to the refrigerator.

I took the whip cream can out, sprayed some in my mouth, tasting the delicious candy-like foam hit the back of my throat.

I put the can in my pocket of my robe, threw a toast into my toaster, and walked to the pantry to get some chips.

Once I found the sour cream and cheddar cheese lays, I closed the pantry door to find Alexis leaning against the door frame with that look she's been giving me for the past couple of weeks.

"Dad," She started her lecture.

This was the four one this week.

"Pumpkin, look, I'm okay." I placed the junk food on the counter and went back in the fridge to get some peanut butter.

I placed my toast on a plate and started spreading the gooey peanut butter on my toast.

I put the two slices together and took a huge bite.

"You're not okay. Look at you, you're a mess," She pointed at my tussled hair that hadn't been combed in a good two weeks, "You haven't showered in three days, you never comb your hair anymore. Gina has called a good five times today for your manuscript and you just send her to voicemail, you eat all of," She walked over, grabbed the chips that were now in my arms, "This! It's unhealthy. So, don't tell me you're okay when we know you're lying to yourself." She scolded.

"The love of your life didn't just die, Alexis!" I shouted back, "Don't tell me I'm now okay or how I'm feeling because you don't know how I feel. You're my daughter, not my mother!" I took the chips away from her before realizing that I never screamed at Alexis before but today was different.

I didn't know what to say.

Alexis's eyes began to water, she finally realized I had reached my breaking point and after almost a month of Kate being gone I was never going to be okay again.

"Pumpkin, I'm sor-." I began.

"Forget it." Alexis turned around and went up to her room, leaving me there to myself.

* * *

I stared at the stairs for another two minutes, hoping that she'd turn around and come back down to me.

After three minutes of hopeless waiting, I turned around, grabbed all the junk food and went back into my office.

I slumped down into my chair.

_Munch. Munch. Munch_.

The only sound in the room was the sound of the food I was eating.

Kate's picture was in front of me.

Almost a month and I was still isolated in my office, only leaving when I needed to use the bathroom or eat.

I could feel my heart drop to my stomach.

The bright grin that was left on her face, the perfectly straight teeth from having braces when she was a young child, the way her brown locks framed her face, the way she looked at me in the picture when she was on my back.

Everything.

Everything about her was perfect.

I couldn't grasp how the Lord could take her so soon and leave me here, heartbroken.

If this was karma, then I must've done something really bad in my past life or something.

I knew that in the beginning it was because of my reputation with other women but now…

Now she was dead and gone; never to come back again.

I had to get out; I had to take a walk down to the Precinct.

I knew the boys and Lanie couldn't be handling this any better than I was.

* * *

I took a quick shower and threw on my slacks and a polo shirt.

I walked out the room, slipped on my shoes and tried to find the coat I usually hung up on the coat rack.

I found it and grabbed my keys quickly before remembering Alexis.

I had to tell her I was going out.

I stuffed the keys into my coat pocket before rushing up the stairs.

_Knock. Knock_.

"Come in!" Alexis shouted from the other side of the door.

I slowly opened the door, "Hey, Pumpkin. I'm going out. I'm heading down to the Precinct. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry for what happened downstairs. You were right. I need to stop moping around. It's just hard for me." I whispered as I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"I know, Dad." She hugged me, "Everything's going to be okay. Go see Dr. Parish and the boys. Tell them I said hello."

I nodded before making my way out the door.

* * *

My feet hit the pavement.

The cool air washed over my face.

Wow, I really hadn't been out much.

It was so cold out here.

Then again, it's the middle of January.

I closed the coat and started walking down to the Precinct.

* * *

I looked over at the park and found a little girl with brown hair and hazel eyes playing with her father.

He was chasing after her.

She fell on the mulch and started giggling.

He lay down beside her and started tickling her.

I stood completely still; watching contently.

A younger woman, around Kate's age walked up to them.

The little girl had a striking resemblance to the mother.

She placed her hands on her hips.

The father picked his daughter up, using her as a shield.

"Thomas, Emily isn't supposed to be lying down in the mulch; it's dirty." She scolded and gave a menacing death glare that scared even me.

"Veronica, Emily is just having fun," He placed the little girl on his hip and walked up to her slowly.

"Yeah, Mommy! Me and Daddy was just playing awound." The little girl's small lisp and incorrect grammar was probably the cutest thing I'd see all day.

"See. She's having fun. C'mon Veronica, have some fun with us." He pecked her lips gently before looking at his daughter cover her eyes.

"Ewwww!" She whined.

I chuckled at the thought of sharing those moments with Kate, but then I remembered that we would never be able to do so.

* * *

"Castle." Ryan walked up to me and gave me a half hug half hand shake.

"Ryan," I replied back, "Where's Esposito?"

"He's down at the morgue with Lanie. She's not taking this too well, so he's trying to keep her calm." He explained.

I nodded.

He placed a hand on my shoulder, "How're you taking things?"

"Not so well."

Beckett and I already told the boys that we were together a while before our trip to Italy.

They promised they'd keep it between us.

So, when Esposito tried calling the next day after the incident and I didn't answer, they felt it would be better if they gave me some space.

Ryan nodded before taking me down to the morgue to see Lanie and Esposito.

* * *

Lanie ran into me the minute I turned the corner to say hello.

Her arms wrapped around my chest.

"Castle, where have you been? You know we're miserable, too. You can't just leave your best friends all alone." She scolded.

"I'm sorry, Lanie." I gave her a tight squeeze before she let go to stand next to Esposito.

"How're you coping?" Esposito asked.

"You know, eating junk food, sitting in my office all day trying to write, etc." I replied, combing my hair with my fingers.

"Honey, that's not healthy." Lanie scolded.

"I know, I got that lecture from Alexis for the past the week. She finally got me out of my room. I decided to come and say hey to you guys." I smiled slightly.

"Good. She's keeping an eye on you. We're just trying to continue working. It's hard being reminded of her but she's in a better place now." Ryan mumbled sadly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." I nodded.

* * *

Four months passed and I was still trying to get over the fact that Kate wasn't coming back.

"Mr. Castle," Gates peeked around the door.

"Sir?" I replied.

"In my office." She said sternly.

Ryan and Esposito gave a big "Oooooo!" Like two little elementary kids seeing their friend get sent to the office.

"Shut up, guys." I shouted over my shoulder with a grin.

"Sir, you wanted to see me?" I stood in front of her desk.

She looked up from the paperwork on her desk and took off her glasses, "Mr. Castle, I understand that you're helping the detectives here – and I appreciate that because even the fact you get on my nerves, you help solve cases – but, you were following Detective Beckett and she's not here anymore. So, it would be best if you stop coming. I'm not banning you from hanging out with the detectives outside of the Precinct but you don't work here and you're no longer needed here. I'm sorry." She explained.

_Damn, a smack in the face._

"Sir-." I was going to try to convince her to let me stay. This was the only way I was coping.

* * *

I walked out the office with my hands in my pockets, "I'll see you guys some other time, okay? I can't stay here." I explained to the boys what Gates told me.

"Aww, man! That sucks, bro. But, we'll go out for a drink some other time, okay?" He got up and shook my hand.

"Yeah." I waved and walked off.

* * *

I walked into the bar I bought a couple years back and ordered a drink.

I took the bottle instead and chugged it down.

Half an hour later, I was drinking scotch.

"Hey, handsome. What're you doing here all alone?" The blonde bimbo wearing a tight black tank top, obviously showing more cleavage than was necessary and jeans, pushed my bangs out of my face.

"Just… Drinking." I slurred.

"What's your name, sexy?" She asked seductively.

"R-" _Hiccup,_ "Rick."

"Mhh. Can I sit with you?" She asked, taking a seat on the stool beside me.

"Sure." I mumbled and took another shot.

* * *

I pushed her to the wall, my mind was blurred, I kissed her neck feverishly.

She let out a small moan.

She pulled my hair hard.

I grunted, pulled away and threw my shirt over my head and onto the floor.

She started taking off her bra.

I placed my hands on her bare breasts while kissing her shoulder.

"Rick," She began.

I moved to her lips and swirled my tongue in her mouth.

"Kate," I mumbled against her lips.

She pulled back, "Kate?"

The blonde pulled away. I couldn't remember her name at the moment.

I was way past being intoxicated.

The memories of Kate flashed through my head.

"I'm sorry." I pulled away and sat down on the couch.

She followed, "Who's Kate?" She asked concerned.

"My girlfrie-." I began.

"Girlfriend?! I didn't know you weren't single!" She started freaking out.

"She died. She died about six months ago." I completed my sentence.

Her mouth dropped, letting out a small gasp, "I'm so sorry! Oh my gosh. That's terrible. Look, I know it's hard, so I'm going to go, okay? If you ever want to get together as friends – since you seem like a very nice man – then here's my number." She took my phone off the counter and put her name and number in it.

"Thanks." I looked down at the phone. Lily. That's her name!

"I'll see you later, Rick. I wish you the best of luck. If you ever need me, call." She kissed my cheek, put her clothes back on, and headed out the loft.

_Fuck._

I thought I was slowly getting better.

I'm drunk and kissing other women.

I needed to go somewhere.

I needed to go to therapy.

* * *

**This chapter isn't as long as the last one, but that one was a good 5,000 words. This is only about 2,000 (my normal amount lol). Please review. I know you guys are getting emotional about Kate's death & the more reviews the more I write. If I get a lot of reviews before 12:00am, I'll write another chapter. Please, review! It's going to get better, I promise. For now, read on and stay with Castle - even though he's starting to lose himself.**

**Lily isn't gone for long so don't think she is! Haha.**

**Please don't yell at me for the whole Lily-Castle steamy moment x.x I know, I know, you all probably dislike her, but Castle isn't doing so well & I felt that adding her in would be a nice touch to the story! **

**Review for the Alexis lecturing Castle momen? c: Pwweeeassseee? I love reviews \(^0^)/ Keep 'em coming, loves. **


	18. Chapter 18: Ghosts in the Wall

**Chapter 18: Ghosts in the Walls**

This part of the song King for a Day by Pierce the Veil ft. Kellin Quinn inspired the ending of this chapter. It was only the lyrics – not the meaning of the song. Here it is:

You told me to think about it, well I did. Now I don't want to feel a thing anymore. I'm tired of begging for the things that I want. I'm oversleeping like a dog on the floor. Imagine living like a king one day living without a single ghost in the walls.

* * *

_I__ needed to go somewhere._

_I needed to go to therapy._

* * *

**R POV**

"Mister Castle, have you been doing what I instructed?" He looked down at his notes.

I nodded.

"Good, how are you feeling?" He took his glass off and looked at me.

"I'm doing a lot better than two weeks ago." I responded.

"Would you like to discuss what happened two weeks ago with Lily?" He crossed his legs.

"Uh, well, it's a lot easier to discuss it now. So, that's fine." I nodded.

"Okay. Let's start off with Lily. Who is she?" His eyebrows rose slightly.

"A woman I met at the bar. I was drinking and she came up to me." I began.

"Because of Kate?." He stated more than asking a question.

"Yeah. Anyway, she tried seducing me. I must've been really drunk because I took her to the loft.." I continued explaining what happened.

"You felt guilty." He stated again.

"Well, of course I felt guilty.

I sat up and played with the string on my sweat pants.

"She's dead, Richard. She's not coming back."

I stood up and walked around the room.

"I know she's not coming back, but-."

He cut me off, "Richard, you need to be honest with yourself. You miss her, you still love her and are hoping she's out there, but she's gone. You need to move on with your life and be happy. It's been almost seven months since she died." He explained sternly.

"You don't under-."

He cut me off again.

"I have many patients. One of them was Kate. I know I'm not supposed to tell you that because it's confidential, but I do understand. Kate was a very good patient of mine. I understand that it's hard, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy."

"I can't be fully happy without her." I sighed.

"Maybe you need closure. Go back to Italy. Go to the place you two were last, reminisce, and come back with the feeling of closure. You need it." He scribbled something down on his notebook.

I nodded and told him I'd do that.

* * *

**Alexis's POV**

"Dad, be careful." I hugged him tightly before handing him his luggage.

He started to walk away and headed to his jet.

"Darling, your father is strong. He'll be fine, I assure you." Gram placed her hand at the small of my back and led me away from the jet.

"I just don't want him to go and come back even worse than he is now." I admitted.

"Sweetheart, he needs closure. Let him go."

I nodded.

We walked away to the car.

"I sure hope you're right." I whispered.

* * *

**R POV**

I placed my luggage in the slot about my chair and sat down.

I remembered how Kate died.

_Plane crash._

She was never coming back.

That's why I was going to Italy, because I needed closure.

Maybe if I got closure I'd be able to move on with my life.

I stuck the headphones into my ear and listened to the sound Beethoven.

I push my connections around a little bit as was able to get the exact hotel room that I shared with Beckett just seven months ago.

I threw the luggage on the floor, unbuttoned the top three buttons of my dress shirt, took my belt off and walked over to the bed.

I crawled on top of the satin sheets that covered the king sized bed.

I kicked my shoes off and leaned against the headboard.

I glanced down at the emptiness beside me.

_Kate._

Memories flashed back.

"_Rick," She moaned._

_She grabbed a fist of my hair as I bit into the crook of her neck, giving a small love bite_

"_Kate," I grunted, "I love you. God, do I love you." I growled with every thrust._

That moan. The perfect noise that could make all my worries go away. For a split minute there I could hear it ringing in my ears.

_She rolled us over so that she was on top._

"_I love you so much more." She planted soft kisses down my broad chest._

I could remember the love faces she made. I never got tired of the anticipation of reaching that final ecstasy scream that she did.

I could tease her that way.

The way I was able to kiss her.

_I flicked my tongue over her clit._

"_Ricky, please. Stop teasing." She growled._

_Her hands clutched the bed sheets like as if she was going to float away with that cloud and never come back down. _

"_Stop moving." I gripped her hips to keep her in place as I worked my magic with my tongue and index finger. _

_Swirling my fingers around in her juices._

"_Oh my God." She whimpered._

_She was so close._

_I pulled myself away, slowly making my way back up with sloppy kisses on her stomach and sprinkling light kisses over her bare breasts. _

_Her hands were immediately in my hair._

_Her tongue slipped into my mouth swiftly._

I realized that the thoughts were not only coming back to my mind but other parts of me.

I blinked hard and got off the bed.

I stripped myself from my clothing.

I walked on the cold tile floor where the icy water splashed on my face.

* * *

I walked up to the statue.

I remembered more.

"_They say that if you rub her right breast it'll bring you good luck." I looked up at the statue._

"_Sure" She dragged the 'ure' part to emphasize her sarcasm._

_She refused to touch the statue in such a weird manner._

_I didn't rub it either and continued to walk on._

I looked around.

Everyone was gone; probably at work or something.

Usually it was packed over here.

I made my way over to the statue and looked up.

"I know that this is weird but I didn't rub you last time and look what happened. I should've. Maybe then I would've had good luck and Kate would still be here."

I placed my hand on the statue's right breast and rubbed it.

This was probably one of the weirdest experiences in my life.

And I've had some pretty weird ones but this just topped them all.

Luckily, nobody was around.

I got off the stone wall and looked around.

I turned around to see a woman walking with a small baby in a carriage.

She turned to look at me with a grin.

_Kate._

My mouth dropped.

She kept walking.

It took me a couple of seconds to compose myself before I ran after her.

"Kate!" I kept running.

Just my luck, my shoe slipped off.

I bent down, picked it up just as she was turning the corner.

I ran after her.

"Kate! Wait! Beckett!" I shouted after her.

I turned the corner hoping that she had stopped.

But, nobody was there.

A couple who had seen what happened stared at me with wide eyes.

Maybe I was going crazy.

I rubbed my eyes with my balled fists.

I blinked back the tears that wanted to come out.

I was going crazy.

I had to admit it to myself, I didn't think she was dead and I knew that I was starting to sound crazier than the theories I used to give her during a case.

I walked over to the bench in the middle of Verona and sat down.

I placed my hands on my thighs.

I pulled my cell phone out after a couple of minutes.

* * *

The ringing filled my ears.

"Rick?" I heard a sleepy voice.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up, Doc. I just had to talk to someone." I explained.

"What's wrong, Richard?" I heard shuffling in the background; he was probably sitting up in bed.

"I saw her," I started to speak, "Not in person. I was standing at the statue I told you about. I took her there and after standing there I turned and saw her walking with a baby in her hands. I tried running after her but I realized it was just my imagination." I finished explaining and let out a giant sigh.

"Yes, you're right. It was your imagination. You wanted to add to your family with her and that's why you saw the "baby" in her hands. You had your last romantic memory in that area so it's common to remember. You just don't do anything stupid, okay?" He slurred sleepily.

"Sure, Doc. I'll let you go back to bed. I just needed to tell someone." I slightly smiled.

"No problem, Richard. That's what I'm here for. Good night."

After a few seconds I heard a click.

I looked down at the phone.

_**Call ended.**_

I placed the phone in my front pocket and made my way back to the hotel room where I sat down and watched episodes of Nebula 9.

God, did I hate these things but I knew that Kate loved them.

I remembered the night she put on her Nebula 9 outfit.

It scared the crap out of me, but damn did her body look fantastic.

"_Okay, promise not to laugh." She said from the bathroom._

"_I promise. C'mon. Quit stalin'." I was leaning against the right arm, annoyed_

"_Ready?" She giggled the question._

"_Ready." I assured happily and quickly placed my hands straight on the bed to get a better view of the heels that were peaking from the corner. _

_Her slim legs started to show. _

_The small skirt and her plump ass were in more of my view. _

_I grinned devilishly. Woah, the body on her was just so breathtaking. _

_I smirked. _

_She showed her entire body showing me the mask she was wearing._

"_You like it?" _

"_Ahh! That's not what you…that's not..." I fell of the bed after seeing her with that mask. I quickly got up, trying to make my way to the living room. I bumped into the door as she got closer. I grabbed _

"_Wanna make out, Castle?"_

"_C'mon. A quick snog right here. Isn't that what your dreams are made of?" She tapped her mask's mouth. She walked over to the door. _

_She growled and let out a giggle._

"_Castle?"_

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

_She started talking calmly, "Are we gonna make out?" _

"_M-Maybe we should…. Start the Nebula 9 marathon." I whispered from behind the door._

I smiled.

The memories of our love making, our laughing, etc. were amazing memories.

I wish that what I saw in Verona was real.

It seemed so real to me.

The way her brown hair framed her face just right and the baby in her arms wasn't in perfect view but I could see the light brown hair from the distance I was.

She had the baby in a blue blanket. I assume it was a boy.

It was just my imagination but I didn't know why on earth I'd ever imagine that at such a random moment.

Was I going crazy or did I really see her in Verona.

I snapped out of my thoughts and continued watching.

* * *

I woke up in a pool of sweat.

I was gasping as I sat up in the bed.

I ripped the shirt off of me.

It was scorching hot.

I looked into the darkness and saw someone staring at me.

Her hair was up; her bangs were in her face.

Those hazel eyes pierced into my blue ones.

"Kate?" I whispered.

She climbed on the bed, leaned forward and pushed my bangs off my now sweaty forehead.

"Hey, Rick." She smiled.

I grinned, "You're alive. I love you. I've missed you. I knew you had to be alive."

She placed an index finger over my lips to indicate that I needed to shut up.

I stared into her magnificent eyes.

"I love you." She leaned forward and kissed my lips.

I jumped up, scared from the dream I just had.

I looked around and saw nobody else in the room.

I am _definitely_ going crazy if I'm seeing her ghost everywhere.

* * *

**Please leave a review. Let me know if you think Castle is losing it or if he really saw Kate those times.**

**Leave it in the review section below ;) **

**Reviews are very much appreciated & I read every single one of them... Since I only have like 3 reviews for each ._. I could really use some more viewers.**

**If you can please do me the favor of sharing/telling your friends about this story if they like Caskett fanfics! The more views = the more reviews = the faster I upload a chapter ^_^ **


	19. Chapter 19: Pregnancy

**Chapter 19: Pregnancy**

Rascal Flatts - Come Wake Me Up inspired this chapter, somewhat.

* * *

_"I love you." She leaned forward and kissed my lips._

_I jumped up, scared from the dream I just had._

_I looked around and saw nobody else in the room._

_I am __definitely__ going crazy if I'm seeing her ghost everywhere._

I lay myself back on the bed and continue to stare up at the ceiling.

Why is it that I continued to see her after so many months?

I ran my hands through my thick hair.

* * *

**R POV**

There's no way that could've been her, though.

The woman was holding a baby.

Kate wasn't pregnant.

I looked at the time.

12:54 AM

_Holy crap! It's super late._

I continued to look up at the ceiling and question myself.

I just wanted to wake up from this ridiculous nightmare.

I needed her to be in my arms again; I needed to smell her hair and be reassured that she was alive by the smell of cherries and vanilla.

* * *

I took a seat on the bench.

I had to see if anyone knew about the woman that I saw yesterday.

As crazy as this seemed, I knew that I was either going crazy or that was the real Kate.

I couldn't just be hallucinating.

That _had_ to be Kate.

If not, I need loads of therapy.

A couple of people passed my way, speaking with a native tongue.

I placed my hands on my forehead, looking at the ground and humming any song that came to mind.

* * *

_Buzz. Buzz._

I reached my hand into my pocket and pulled out my iPhone.

"Hello?" I croaked; obviously tired from sitting on this hard bench all day.

"Hello, Richard. Darling, how are you?" My mom lovingly asked.

"I'm fine, Mother. I'll be home soon." I reminded her.

"Splendid! We already miss you, Darling." She nearly shouted with that dramatic joy he had almost all the time.

I knew that though it was still depressing for me, she tried to show that I could get better through happiness.

She wasn't taking the situation lightly, either.

However, it was almost a year ago that we heard about Kate's death and she knew I needed to move on.

* * *

I heard the phone click.

We talked for nearly a half an hour and I had to get back to what I was doing.

I placed my phone in my pocket once again.

I zoned out once my eye was captured by the beautiful statue in front of me.

My mind went off into a blissful memory of Kate and myself.

"_Next time let's do it without the tiger." She took the helmet and walked off with a smirk._

"_Next time?" I noticed after seconds of watching her stroll off. _

_Her head slowly whipped back with another smile._

_I watched her glide towards the elevator. _

_I smiled softly._

_She totally wants me, I thought to myself, egotistically. _

I remembered the way she smiled like it was yesterday.

Then, I remembered the way everyone smiled at her when she worked.

The way we always knew she was okay just by that dazzling smile.

And the way everyone cried at her memorial.

We never recovered the body but we did try our best to make it seem as real as possible for somewhat of the closure we needed.

"_Kate was such a wonderful person to be around. She was my best friend. I don't think anyone could ever replace such a beautiful woman, wonderful person, and such a strong, independent cop that always strived to reach the justice she wanted everyone to have." Lanie nodded and looked around at everyone._

_Jim made his way up to the stage and took the microphone._

_He looked around at the crowd of people from the entire Precinct and the friends and family of the Becketts'._

"_My daughter knew what she wanted to do in life and that was to find justice for each and every individual, regardless of their background. I won't ever forget the smile she always had on her face, I remember looking down at her, holding her in my arms when she was born. I remember looking at her beautiful face that I could cup in my hands as she grew older. I knew then and there that the love I had for her was unconditional. I know that this is hard for everyone, but after losing my dear wife due to her job, I know that I'll never be fully able to get over losing them both. It took me so long to get over my alcohol addiction – which Kate helped with – and now, I am without my baby girl. I just want to thank everyone for coming out and sharing their stories about my daughter." _

_His eyes were swollen from the tears that were coming out his eyes throughout the past week of knowing what happened. _

_I made my way off to the front of the crowd and helped him make his way down before crying in front of everyone. _

_Out of everyone, Jim was taking it harder than everyone; including myself. _

_Kate was the woman I was in love with, but Kate was his daughter; the only one in his life whom he trusted enough to see all the time or talk about anything and everything with. She helped him overcome something that could've killed him. She knew that she couldn't lose both her parents; therefore, she watched over him and continued to help him, no matter how many times he pissed her off or yelled at her because he wanted the bitter taste of alcohol over his only daughter. _

I got up from the bench slowly and made my way over to my hotel room.

I had to get away from the one place where I had the most memories of Beckett.

Maybe I was going crazy?

I knew it.

She was never coming back.

_She is dead,_ I reminded myself.

Nobody could ever bring her back to my arms and I'd never be able to have those children with her or say 'I do' to her on our wedding day.

I had to call Lanie about the pregnancy thing.

I know that Kate wasn't pregnant.

She would've told me if she was.

But, something in the pit of my stomach told me that I needed to ask, just in case.

Lanie called me before I even got the chance to.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hello, Castle." She sniffled.

She was obviously in tears and I wasn't quite sure what happened.

"Lanie, I was just about to call you." I explained with half a smile.

I didn't hear much but a muffled sob.

"Lanie? What's wrong?" I asked, concerned with the feelings of my dear friend.

"Castle, I've kept something away from you for almost a year." She confessed.

My heart dropped.

_What could it be?_

"What is it, Lanie?" I asked desperately.

"I know it's wrong to keep it away from you any longer," She whispered.

"Was Kate pregnant?" I asked, cutting her off.

The amount of desperation in my voice was clear.

I wanted to know and I couldn't handle the pain of not knowing anymore.

There was a silence of about ten seconds but to me, it seemed like ten years.

"...Yes." She whispered.

I immediately dropped my phone.

* * *

**I'm really sorry that this is such a short chapter but I wrote this two weeks ago & hated the way it was. I had to tweak some things. I really hope you like the story, though. I promise that there will be another chapter later on tonight or tomorrow! That is my plan! I've been late on these chapters because of the amount of homework, the lack of my computer, and the constant amount of people asking to hang out -.- Lol. However, spring break is a week away; which means that I will have a LOT more chapters out :D**

**Richard: YEAH! You're neglecting us!**

**If you don't get out of here! -.- I get it! I am late on these chapters. I've already explained it. Castle, shouldn't you be somewhere else? Like... I don't know.**

**Richard: Oh yeah. ._. SPOILERS. *runs out* **

**-.- Sheesh. Lol. Leave a review, PLEASE :D **

**OH! By the way, the amount of reviews I got for the latest chapter left me mind blown! Omg, I am so happy that I had THAT many reviews for my story :) c: Reviews like that make me beyond happy!**


	20. Chapter 20: Kate

**Chapter 20: Kate**

I don't really have a song that goes with this.

* * *

_"Was Kate pregnant?" I asked, cutting her off._

_The amount of desperation in my voice was clear._

_I wanted to know and I couldn't handle the pain of not knowing anymore._

_There was a silence of about ten seconds but to me, it seemed like ten years._

_"...Yes." She whispered._

_I immediately dropped my phone._

* * *

**R POV**

I opened my eyes slightly allowing them to adjust to the beam of light splashing over my face.

My head pounded in agony.

I brought my arm up from my side to allow my hand to sweep my bangs off of my forehead.

"Oh, I see you're awake, Mr.," The man in a white coat (Most likely a doctor) looked down at his clipboard, "Castle?" The thick Italian accent was clearly audible through his voice.

"Uh," I started, "What am I doing here?" I asked; placing my hand on my thumping head - It was getting worse.

"A witness – the young woman who brought you in – said that she saw you walking down the stairs from your hotel and then collapsing. She was pretty concerned; she brought you in because she wanted to make sure you were going to be okay." He explained while handing me a pill for my headache.

"Oh." Is all I could say to that explanation.

"You should probably get some rest, though." He stated.

"I'm fine. Can I just get my stuff and leave?" I asked quickly.

I really didn't want to be stuck in this hospital.

"Well, it's your choice. So, go ahead." He walked back out of the room.

I gathered my things quickly before making my way out of the bright room.

Then, I remembered exactly why I must've fainted.

Kate was pregnant with my baby before she died in that plane crash.

I ran my hands through my dark brown hair, noticing how badly I needed to cut my hair.

"Mr. Castle?" I heard a feminine voice call after me.

I continued walking.

I didn't want one of the doctors changing their mind and making me stay at this hospital.

I heard her heels clacking as she jogged to my side.

I continued to look straight ahead.

"Can I help you? Do you want an autograph or something?" I asked and placed my hand out in front of her waiting for the pen and my latest book to be placed in my hand.

"No," She walked in front of me, making me stop in my tracks, "I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I brought you in; I was concerned with your health."

I continued to be silent.

_How could this even be possible?_

"So, are you okay?" She asked with a quizzical expression; most likely because I was so silent you could hear the other patients' televisions down the hallway.

"Kate?" I blinked my eyes hard; trying to make sure I wasn't just in a dream.

"That's my name, yes. That still doesn't answer my question." She was becoming more and more confused as seconds passed us by.

"Kate!" I cried and embraced her into an almost bone crushing hug.

"Mr. Castle, what are you doing? Are you alright?" She repeated.

I pulled away with tears in my eyes, "Why didn't you come back to New York? Why didn't you tell us you were alive? Your father misses you! The Precinct misses you! I missed you!" I almost sobbed.

"Mr. Castle, I have no idea what you're talking about." She explained and walked away from me scared.

"Katherine Beckett! Come back!" I shouted after her.

_I can't lose her again._

I snapped out of my thoughts and tried running down the hallway after her.

She turned another corner.

I turned with her and saw that she was gone.

* * *

**K POV**

I leaned against the door frame and watched him walk in a circle before sitting in the chair placed against the wall.

_What was he talking about?_

I waited for him to walk away before walking out of the room that smelled of cigarettes and shit.

I held my hand up to my nose and made my way through the waiting room.

* * *

**R POV**

Two days went by since the last time I saw Kate at the hospital.

_How was all of this possible? She died in that crash….. Or at least I thought._

I looked through the ridiculous amount of newspapers and magazines that dealt with the plane crash.

I opened up my laptop.

I had to figure out why she said she didn't know what I was talking about.

I looked through websites before I finally landed on one.

I began to read:

**Woman Survives Plane Crash!**

I continued skimming through before figuring it out. The article talked about how Kate was one of seven people who survived the plane crash. However, she was the one of the two to survive with minor injuries. While a majority of the others had massive brain damage while she had amnesia. The doctors said it would wear off within a year or so, but the only way she'd get it back is with someone reminding her of it. As far as everyone knew, she didn't have family, friends, etc. Since the story wasn't too big and had nothing to do with terrorisms, they didn't leak this information out to the U.S.

I leaned back against my chair and placed my hands behind my head, "Amnesia." I repeated out loud.

I didn't call anyone about this situation.

I wanted to figure this out on my own before I tried to get her to go back to New York to see her father or her friends.

I walked across the graveled road, searching for her.

I sat down on a bench and stared up at the plane that was passing above me.

My flight was in a good five hours and I still couldn't find her.

I just needed to prove that I was the love of her life, regardless of the fact that she didn't remember me and I only had a couple of hours to do so.

_This is hopeless,_ I said to myself.

* * *

"How was it in Italy, Dad?" She kissed my cheek as I walked into the loft.

"Great. I got somewhat closure." I replied, embracing her in a hug.

I started walking through the kitchen and saw that my phone was buzzing.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Castle! What happened last time I called?" Lanie asked.

"Sorry, I fainted and had to be taken to the hospital." I explained.

"If you were by yourself, who took you?"

I had to think about the response to give her.

I couldn't lie to someone who could end up helping me.

Especially Kate's best friend.

"Kate." I whispered, making sure Alexis - who was only several feet away - couldn't hear me.

"Kate?!" She shouted into the phone.

"Shh. Yes. She's alive, Lanie. She has amnesia. I'll send you the link right now." I moved the phone away from my ear and sent her the link of the website dealing with Kate's story.

Lanie quickly read silently before getting back on the phone, "Wait. If they didn't leak this information to the U.S, how did Javier know about Kate's plane crashing?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, "I... I didn't think too much about that."

* * *

I sped up to the door and pounded my fist against the door.

He opened the door slowly and placed the toothbrush in his mouth.

"Hey, Castle!" He smiled and opened the door to let me in.

I pushed him against the wall, "You knew about her being alive and you kept it from everyone including me?!" I snarled.

"Woah, woah, woah," He put his palms up, "I don't know what you're talking about!" He confessed.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. I read the article! The article didn't get out to the U.S because it wasn't that big of a deal to come out to us. She's alive and you've kept it a secret?!" I shouted.

"Rick, I promise, I didn't know anything about that. I just heard one of my friends say that someone else told him about a plane crash. The guy who told him was related to someone who survived. I swear, I didn't even know she was alive. The guy said that the plane crashed and only a couple survived, bro." His toothbrush fell onto the cold tile as he explained.

I let go of his shirt, smoothed it out and took a couple steps back, "I'm sorry about that, Espo. She's alive, though. I saw her when I was in Italy." I whispered, putting my hands in my slack pockets.

"Oh," He picked up his toothbrush and walked to the sink to wash it off, "I didn't know. We're bros, I would've told you all if she was alive, bro. Y'know me." He shook his head.

"Yeah, I don't know why I ever doubted you." I frowned and pinched the bridge of my nose, "I don't know what to do. She didn't remember me."

* * *

_**A year later...**_

"Lily, where are you going?" I laughed as I followed her into the park.

"Rick, c'mon. Stop asking so many questions and just follow me!" She giggled.

Lily was the woman I met at the bar a year and a half ago. She turned out to be the only woman that understood how I was feeling about this Kate situation and didn't try anything on me - other than the first incounter with me.

"Rick?" She snapped her fingers in front of my eyes before grabbing my hand and walking with me to the swings.

I stopped in my tracks and remembered the swings and the moments with Kate.

The way we swung there the day she apologized and said she just needed space.

"Richard, you keep spacing out. Is there something wrong?" She looked into my eyes and then down at the swings, "Kate?"

I nodded.

She hugged me tightly, "Listen, everything's going to be okay. You'll see her soon enough. You'll find her." She whispered.

Lily knew about the sighting of Kate in Italy and she was very supportive of it.

I pulled away and gave a smile before sitting down on the swing beside her.

* * *

I ran down the steps of her apartment before making my way down the street.

"Richard!" someone called after me.

_Deja vu. _

I turned around and saw her once again, "Kate?" I almost choked on her name.

"Richard, I needed to come see you. I've been looking for you for a year." She explained while running up to my side.

"You remember me?" I almost cried.

She sighed and looked down at her shoes, "Sadly, no. However, I remember how you said you knew me. I was wondering how you knew me."

My face fell.

"You don't remember." I stated rather than asking - more to myself than her.

"I'm sorry, but no." She slightly frowned.

"You were the love of my life, my girlfriend, a homicide detective, and my best friend... To sum it up." I whispered while looking down.

Her eyebrows knit together as she processed what I had just told her.

I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes, "Let me take you out? Please? Let me help you remember." I whispered.

She smiled slowly, "Okay."

She wrote down her hotel number on my hand and walked away.

* * *

**Okay, I had to finish writing this today because it wasn't that great last weekend. Hopefully you all like it. It's Spring Break biattcchhessss \m/ Other than my ridiculous amount of AP homework, I'll be free to write more and more chapters. Which means there'll probably be one out tonight or tomorrow morning c: Review, please? c: It might be a really cheesy way of putting her back into the story but now we'll have to see if Castle can regain her trust and memory. :D**


	21. Chapter 21: Enchanted

**Chapter 21: Enchanted**

Taylor Swift's Enchanted helped write some of this c: & The Vow (movie) helped inspire some parts toward the end.

* * *

_"You were the love of my life, my girlfriend, a homicide detective, and my best friend... To sum it up." I whispered while looking down._

_Her eyebrows knit together as she processed what I had just told her._

_I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes, "Let me take you out? Please? Let me help you remember." I whispered._

_She smiled slowly, "Okay."_

_She wrote down her hotel number on my hand and walked away._

* * *

**R POV**

I walked into the loft, started unbuttoning my dress shirt and kicked off my shoes.

I ran into my bedroom and turned on the shower.

"Dad, what're you doing?" Alexis asked while I ran around the living room without my shirt, my bare chest showing, looking for my comb.

"I have a date tonight." I practically shouted rapturously.

"With Lily?" She asked, "I knew you two couldn't only be friends. You two were too close of frie-." She rambled.

"With Kate!" I grinned, cutting her off.

"She's back?" Alexis's eyes bulged out of her head.

"She stopped me after I dropped Lily at her apartment and told me that she wanted me to explain how I knew her." I explained.

I found my comb and started smiling.

"Oh my gosh!" She jumped up and down.

I nodded and ran back into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

I began singing Enchanted by Taylor Swift in the shower as I lathered my hair with shampoo.

The amount of joy I had without was practically running through my veins.

"It was enchanting to meet you!" I shouted at the top of my lungs while I rinsed my hair off.

_Wow, I sounded so gay singing such a girly song._

"Dad, stop screaming!" Alexis shouted from the living room after five minutes of hearing my singing.

"Sorry!" I shouted once more as I turned the knob in the shower.

* * *

"Pumpkin, the red tie or black tie?" I asked holding up the two ties.

Alexis held two fingers to her chin as she thought about the difficult decision.

"Red on black looks really nice so that one." She said pointing to the tie in my left hand.

I nodded, kissed her cheek and ran back into my room.

I left the tie around my neck, not yet tied and slipped on my dress shoes.

I glanced at the clock.

**7:15**

I panicked slightly as the time continued.

I fixed my hair, parting it and then began tying my tie.

"You need help?" Alexis noticed how I was struggling and started to dust the crumbs off her hands.

I nodded and thanked her before making my way out the door.

I felt my coat pockets and realized that I didn't have my car keys.

"Here," Alexis held them up in front of my face before squeezing me, "Good luck, Dad. Tell her I said hello." She gave a dazzling smile and opened the door for me to leave.

* * *

I smoothed my coat with my hands and held my hand up to the hotel door.

It opened before my fist could reach the cool wood.

I breathed out a laugh, "Hey." I smiled.

"Hey yourself." She smirked

I gave a small smile before holding out my hand for her to grab and follow me out the door.

"Kate?" a woman asked from inside the hotel room.

"Yes, Danielle?" She turned around to a woman around Kate's age.

"I'll call you if anything happens, okay?" Kate nodded and took my hand.

I gave her a confused look but brushed it off once she smiled and took me down the steps.

"So, Mr. Castle, where are we going?" She asked.

"You don't have to call me "Mr. Castle" y'know? You used to just call me "Castle"." I explained.

"Oh," She looked up at me with those hazel green eyes, "My apologies. You see, I don't remember." Her eyes wandered to the stars into the twilight sky.

"Yeah, I know." I gave a reassuring smile and continued walking her down the sidewalk.

After moments of silence and the constant glow of headlights hitting our faces, Kate spoke up, "So, you never answered my question." She mumbled.

"Hmm?" I stopped and turned to face her, "What question?"

"Where are we going?" She flashed a smile.

_God, did I miss her._

I couldn't believe that in the matter of four hours or so she was with me again.

I haven't seen her in almost two and a half years and she comes up to me and lets me take her on a date?

No questions, nothing.

Just because she wanted to know more about the Kate she was before the accident.

"Well, it's a surprise." I finally answered.

She lightly punched my shoulder, "Such a tease." She giggled.

"Well, at least you remembered that much." I winked.

A light pink painted her cheeks and neck as we continued walking.

"So, what is there to know about myself?" She questioned.

"Well, your mother died when you were a teenager, that's why you joined the force. You've been trying to solve her murder case for years." I told her.

"Well, I know that. Sadly, that stayed in my mind. I know about her death and the years before that. I just can't remember the past seven years." She confessed.

"So, you pretty much can't remember me?" I asked rhetorically, but she answered anyway.

"Yes. I wish I could remember, though. You must've been really important to me. The doctors said that I'd be able to remember if someone helped." She took grasp of my hand and continued walking with me.

* * *

"We're here." I pulled her back from walking onward and looked up at the sign.

"Remy's?" She looked up at me.

"We used to go to this place all the time." I reminded her, as if she'd remember.

She shrugged and waited for me to guide her in to the diner.

I walked her to her seat and ran to the back of the restaurant.

* * *

**K POV**

I looked around the burger joint.

Man, New York hasn't changed much. I honestly don't ever remember coming here.

Castle walked back with two shakes in his hands.

No wonder I fell in love with him, he's gorgeous.

The way his dark brown hair went messily against his forehead, the way his dress shirt fit snuggly against his broad chest and the way he floated over to our table like a Greek god.

"You okay?" His eyebrows furrowed.

I nodded, heat went across my cheeks – most likely it was because I was blushing – and I noticed how I must've been drooling over him like one of his fanatic fan girls.

"_Ooooookay_." He teased.

I waited for him to sit down before he slid the milkshake my way, "What flavor is this?" I asked looking at the iced milk in front of me as I swirled the straw around in the chunks of chocolate and caramel swirls.

"Just drink it, Beckett. We used to do this all the time. Ever since I started coming here with you, we try out new shakes every Saturday. And today is Saturday…. So drink it up, Kate." He gave a small smirk and waited for my lips to go over the straw and take a sip from the abnormal looking drink.

He chuckled as my face must've beamed as I drank the cool shake, "It's really good!" I exclaimed and offered him some, "Want some?"

He put a hand up to stop me from continuing, "I've tried it before. You already know that I don't like that one."He articulated.

"No. Actually, I don't know that you don't like it, remember? So, maybe you should try it again." I teased, using my amnesia against him.

"That's right." He admitted and leaned forward to take a sip.

I dabbed my finger into the whipped cream and put some on his nose.

He leaned back, crossing his eyes to see the white dot on his nose, mouth dropped wide open in shock and gave a boyish grin, "Katherine Beckett, you haven't changed one bit."

I finally let him take a sip once I controlled my giggles.

His face cringed and twisted in disgust which didn't help the fact that everyone was looking at us laughing over nothing more than silliness, probably sounding like a couple of lovestruck teenagers.

A pimpled boy walked to the table - around the age of seventeen – and set two burgers and curly fries in front of us.

* * *

**R POV**

I took a bite out of the greasy burger in front of me, "This is the best burger in Manhattan, Beckett." I explained with a full mouth of beef.

She took a huge bite into the burger and looked up at me with eyes as big as an owl, "Mmmm!" She practically moaned.

"Good?" I grinned.

She nodded, leaned over with a napkin and wiped the corner of my mouth romantically.

I looked into her hazel green eyes remembering the stupid romantic things we took for granted.

Almost two years, yet, I feel like she never left.

"I'm really happy that you're joining me on this date or whatever this is." I looked down before snagging one of her curly fries.

"Castle, you have curly fri-." She started before noticing that I had finished my fries already, "Damn, that was quick." She giggled.

I took another fry and dipped it into my shake, gaining a gawked looked from Kate, "Don't knock it till you try it." I smiled.

She raised her eyebrows before dipping a fry into her own shake, "You should get your taste buds checked because this isn't as great as you're making it out to be."

My mouth dropped, "My taste buds?! _Whaaa-_-. You need help, Ms. Beckett!" I laughed.

"Are you trying to give me diabetes?" She giggled, "Because I'm going down that road after tonight."

I laughed with her.

_I missed her so much._

* * *

"Well, I'm done. And since you usually finish eating before me, I assume you're done, too?" She spoke up.

My eyebrows knit together, "You remember that?" I asked shocked.

"I…" She smiled slowly, "I guess things are slowly coming back to me."

"You're truly incredible, Beckett."

She gave a smile that went from ear to ear and looked down, "Thank you, Rick."

I reached across the table and took her hand, "There's something I want to show you."

* * *

I unlocked the door, turned on the light and led her in.

"Isn't this my apartment?" She asked.

_Man, was she starting to remember._

"Yeah, I've been paying for the rent ever since I heard you were in that plane crash." I confessed.

"That's so," She sighed and wiped her hand across the marble counter, "Sweet." She finished.

"I've been coming back in here ever week to clean and make sure everything was okay. I used to come every other night and just lay down in your bed." I confessed once again, "I know how creepy that sounds, but it was the only way I could cope."

She walked towards me and placed her hand on my cheek, "I wish I could remember faster because I know that with a guy as great as you, I must've been in love with you instantly." She whispered.

I chuckled, "Well, it took you four years to finally say it." I told her.

"Four years?" She gasped, "Why so long?" She asked.

I shrugged and took her hand in mine.

I led her to an empty room filled with pictures and boxes with the name, 'Mom' scribbled on the side.

"This room is new. I kind of got bored one day – before you get upset like you usually would right now – I think this'll help you remember if you look at some of the things.

She let go of my hand and started walking towards the box and picked up my first book, "Richard Castle," She smiled before opening the hard cover and let her eyes glance over the writing in the inside, "I remember going to your conventions and waiting in line for hours just to get an autograph." She turned her head in a 45 degree angle to look at me from across the room.

"You've told me before, but it's nice hearing it again." I smirked.

* * *

**I really hate to cut you all off from such a romantic moment but sadly, I must get to the AP work staring at me from across the table -,- Anyway, I hope you guys like it. I really wanted to get to the parts where Castle had to help her remember. *Spoiler* This happiness may not last forever. I'm planning on introducing some old characters from the ORIGINAL Castle c: Leave a review and maybe I'll upload another chapter tonight! :) **


	22. Chapter 22: Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye

**Chapter 22: Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye**

The songs Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye and Apologize have inspired the ending of this chapter.

Also, the move 'The Vow' inspired it.

* * *

_She let go of my hand and started walking towards the box and picked up my first book, "Richard Castle," She smiled before opening the hard cover and let her eyes glance over the writing in the inside, "I remember going to your conventions and waiting in line for hours just to get an autograph." She turned her head in a 45 degree angle to look at me from across the room._

_"You've told me before, but it's nice hearing it again." I smirked._

* * *

**R POV**

"Thank you for taking me out tonight, Castle." She whispered and continued to look into my eyes.

"You're welcome." I whispered back.

_Silence._

I got the courage to slowly lean forward. I haven't seen her in almost a year and I just needed to taste her lips again.

"Kate, Lucas isn't going to be-." She started but saw that she was interrupting something and stopped in her tracks.

Kate's head snapped towards Danielle, "I'll be inside in a minute, Dani." She smiled before looking back at me once she made her way back into the hotel room.

"Lucas?" I looked down at her with knitted eyebrows.

She sighed and ran a hand absentmindedly through her long curly hair, "Yeah. My son." She slightly smiled.

"Your son?" I asked just to be reassured that she had said that.

She nodded.

A little boy opened the door quietly. I glanced down at him as Danielle ran back over to grab him. He was dressed in a superman pajama shirt with an attachable cape and small blue shorts. His messy brown hair was gelled – obviously he was playing with it earlier because his bangs went across his forehead and the back was sticking up slightly in a small fauxhawk. "Mama?" the little boy started.

Kate turned and saw him standing near the door with Danielle in back of him, "I'm so sorry, Kate. He left the crib and walked over here." Dani started to apologize.

"It's fine." She smiled and let Lucas come to her side.

I stared down at the small toddler and looked back up at her, calculating the amount of months she had been gone.

Dani left and shut the door in order to give us all privacy.

I continued calculating. She was a few months pregnant when she was in the crash and two years passed. That means Lucas was around a year and a half old. The fact that he walked and could talk a little bit, confirmed my suspicion. However, I had to ask just to make sure.

"How old is he?" I bent down to his level, still slightly towering over him as he hid behind her leg.

"A little over a year." She answered, rubbing his gelled hair.

"I thought so." I whispered.

"They told me I was pregnant before I lost my memory." She told me.

"Yes. Lanie told me that you told her about it and were scared to tell me." I looked up at her now sympathetic eyes.

"Papa." Lucas walked forward and touched my hand.

The light radiated off his face. His eyes were a soft green with specks of blue.

I sucked in a breath when it finally hit me that she indeed had our child.

My eyes became moist as I smiled at him, "Hey, buddy." I whispered, a sob starting in my throat.

She leaned forward, "He has your smile." She stated.

"Supaman." He said with a slight lisp.

Lucas grabbed onto his cape and made a swooshing noise.

"And my child-like actions." I chuckled and brought him in for a hug.

* * *

I turned on the television and placed him on my lap. I was waiting for Alexis and my mother to walk in to see Lucas. Kate went out to the market for some of the gummies Lucas kept asking for.

"Luke, what do you want to watch, my man?" I leaned back and watched him playing with his airplane.

"Bumbob." He giggled.

"Bumbob?" I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to figure out what the hell that was.

He slide down from my lap to grab a coloring book and walked back to show me Spongebob, "Bumbob." She said once again.

"Oh! _Sponge_bob." I laughed and changed the channel.

He gave a small smile and giggled, "Duh, Papa."

_Duh?_ This kid was too smart, but where did he hear that from?

I started playing angry birds for a few minutes, until Luke came over and pulled the phone lower so he could watch.

He crawled through my arms and lay against my chest to continue watching and giggling hysterically each time a bird would explode.

Kate and I planned on telling Alexis and my mother about Lucas and then heading down to the Precinct to tell everyone the great news about Kate being back, but before we did that, we'd have to call her father because Lord knows he's been depressed.

"Dad, grandma and I are back from the rehea-." She cut mid-sentence, staring at the small boy who was now looking up at her from my chest with a small smile.

"Alexis, why are you just standing there with your mouth hanging open like that? You'll catch flies that wa-." She stopped next to Alexis and saw exactly what Alexis was gawking at.

"Hey, guys." I got up, picking Lucas off my chest and resting him against my hip.

"Lucas? Castle?" Kate came in holding two bags before seeing the two redheads turn to face her with even wider mouths.

"Mama!" Lucas shrieked with excitement and wiggled free from my grasp onto the ground, where he penguin ran to Kate's side and received his gummies with a grin.

"Richard? Care to explain to us what's going on? Kate's alive? And who is this little boy?" She shot out questions like an auctioneer.

"I already knew Kate was alive," Alexis started, Martha shot a look at her, "He went on a date with her last night. However, I didn't know about this little boy who is calling Kate 'Mama'."

"Well, hello to you too?" Kate laughed and walked over to the two women after placing the bags on the counters.

They both hugged her with tears rolling down their faces, "Oh my," Martha started, "I'm so happy that you're alive! After two years, you're back!"She whispered.

"She has minor amnesia and will need us to help her remember. That's why she didn't come back sooner. I saw her in Italy before I came back but after my therapist said I was just going crazy, I ignored it." I explained.

"I remember you two, though." Kate interrupted.

"You do?" They asked simultaneously.

"Yes. I may not have remembered Castle, but after our talking last night. I think things are clearing up." She smiled.

"Papa," Lucas tugged at my hand, "Who that?" He asked.

"Who is that." I corrected him.

"Who is that?" He repeated, pointing to the two redheads.

"'Papa'?" They repeated again.

I lifted him up again and walked up to them, "This is your older sister, Alexis."

"'Lexis." He tried to say her name and reached out his arm, shaking her hand.

"Wow. He's really smart." She laughed and looked at Kate with a cheeky grin.

"And this, is your grandmother." I let him shake her hand as well.

"Gwandmudder." He repeated with a baby voice.

"And your name is, Darling?" Martha grabbed his hand and smiled.

"Lucas." He gave a famous Castle smile and giggled.

"He has your smile, Dad!" Alexis laughed.

Kate walked to my side, "And his eyes."

"He has your nose, Kate." Martha smiled.

"Mama, gummies?" He reached over to her and grabbed one from her hand.

* * *

We all made our way over to the couch, making small talk while watching Lucas play with his cars and handing one to Alexis for her to join in.

"Kate, you went to the market, I see." Martha stated.

"Yes I did, Martha. You all wouldn't believe who I saw there!" Kate exclaimed joyfully.

"Who?" I leaned against the couch and fixed my eyes on her.

"Uh, he told me his name was Josh. Apparently we had a thing going a while back and after he explained himself, I remembered him." She grinned.

"Oh." Was all I could manage to say.

"He says he is in love with me still and that I should catch up with him sometime." She looked over at me with a glint of emotion in her eyes.

Not the emotion of fear, but happiness.

I sat straight up, "What are you going to do?" I asked.

"He seems great. I'm thinking I should catch up with him. Since I have amnesia, I should be trying to remember things and he might help me out." She explained.

"That's what I'm here for." I snapped back.

* * *

**K POV **

"You're who you are and you have as much of a side to who I am as he does." I tried to explain.

His jaw clenched shut, "Okay. Do what you feel is best, Kate." He got up and made his way over to his room before slamming it shut.

"Richard!" I called after him, but it was too late.

I looked back at the two redheads and my son looking at me, "Papa is mad." Lucas whispered.

"Josh wasn't his favorite guy in your life, Kate." Alexis stated.

"He wasn't?" I asked, confused.

"He was your boyfriend and Richard didn't like that. Especially since he hit Richard and after your shooting, Josh blamed my son for it." Martha explained.

"Oh." I rested my hand on my closed gun wound.

"Papa, open the door." Lucas was away from us all, knocking on the door of Castle's room.

Rick opened the door and looked down to find Lucas staring up at him.

"Hey, buddy." Richard crouched down.

"Papa, don't be mad." Lucas hugged him.

"I'm not mad, kiddo." He whispered into his neck.

"Good. Play toys with 'Lexis and Luke?" He asked, shoving a toy car into his face.

Rick chuckled and pushed his small hand from his face, "Papa has to do some work now, Luke."

Lucas frowned and looked up at him as he stood up with the same puppy dog face Castle used to make.

* * *

Josh had been telling stories about the 'good-ole days' all day.

"Oh my gosh! Really?" I laughed.

"Yeah, it was pretty funny. I remember coming to the Precinct the next day and we couldn't contain our laugher. " He continued his story.

"I can't believe that happened." I teasingly face palmed myself.

"I know, but it was hilarious!" He smiled at me.

"I bet." I agreed, taking the ice cream cone from his hands.

We made our way up to my hotel door.

"So, is your memory starting to come back? 'Cause you and I have some great history, Kate." He flirted.

"Slightly." I smirked.

He leaned forward slowly, "You know, I can help you remember some more of it." His cool breath hit my face.

"Is that so?" I giggled.

He leaned forward some more and let his lips brush against mine.

I let my free hand grasp onto his hair as he kissed my lips with eagerness.

His lips didn't fit mine like I thought they would. It was a weird taste of ice cream and pure awkward kisses.

I heard someone clear there throat after Josh pulled back

"Oh. Hey, Rick. What're you doing here?" Josh looked at him.

"Just watching my son." He shot back.

I had told Josh about Lucas a couple weeks back when we first started hanging out. Castle didn't like the thought of us reminiscing, but it was my choice, not his.

"Okay." He said.

Josh turned to face me once more, planting a small kiss on my lips and walking away, "See you later, Kate?"

I nodded and started to make my way passed Castle.

He had his arms crossed over his chest, "Luke is sleeping. I'm going to get going." He brushed passed me in the dining room to get his coat.

"Castle, please don't be upset with me. It was a kiss." I tried to tell him.

'No. I'm not going to be upset. If you're going to be happy with him, be my fucking guest, Kate. I have no patience for this. If you're going to throw us away just because you want to "hear his side of the story", so be it. I love you, Kate. I've loved you for about six years, through the time you "died" and everything. I could've moved on. I had women on me, but my heart only wanted you. I can see that you obviously don't love me the way you used to love me. I'm not going to beg you to stay; I won't ask you what's wrong if everything we worked for is gone. I mean, I wish you could love me the way you used to love me without trying, but I'll let you be happy."

"Rick, please. I just need time!" I told him, with tears filling my eyes.

"Last time you told me that, you stopped talking to me. So, answer me this, Kate…" He started, "How do you look at the girl you love, and tell yourself it's time to walk away?" His eyes were moist and he frowned.

I watched his expression change in an instant.

I just don't know how to choose between two guys that love me and not know where the doors lead.

He slides his arms through his jacket, kisses Lucas's forehead and makes his way to the door, "I'll see you in a couple days to get Lucas."

With that, he shut the door, leaving me in the middle of the dining room with tears falling down my face.

* * *

**Okay. Before you all throw knifes and tomatoes at me, I felt the need to explain myself about taking so long on the updates. The reason I take so long is because of 1. Writer's block is a bitch lol. 2. I'm not getting as many reviews as I'd like (I get about 5-6) tops on a chapter, unless it's my lucky day where I get around 12. Without the reviews, I don't get very inspired because I feel nobody likes the story & I'm really enjoying the way this story is going, but I won't update as fast without the reviews. I know, I sound ridiculous complaining about the reviews, but it's how I feel.**

**Anyway, now to the story, I know you all hate the fact that I got them back together and then are having them fight and on the rocks right now. I told you all that everything wouldn't just magically go back to normal. However, I really hope you guys like Lucas. I find him to be the cutest little boy ever.,(In a fanfiction) I mean. **

**I know you all hate Josh - I do, too. Believe me, I don't like him one bit lol. I know you're probably like "Then why did you put him in here, you bitch?! :O Making Caskett fight!" lol. Butttttt, like I said, this is like a 'Hero's Journey', we're going to need someone to get in the way before the 'Magical Return'. LOL. And we all know that Josh or a Demming would've come back at least once. I won't make any promises, but remember that this _is_ a Caskett story. I had to emphasize that 'is' in the previous sentence lmao.**

**I'll try to update as soon as possible - if Writer's block doesn't get in the way - and you all review or I get some :P **

**ALSO, I got bored earlier and made a small one-shot on how Caskett met in "high school" instead of when she arrested him. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue those one-shots, but I just had that stuck in my head all day and had to throw it somewhere. It's sucky, I know. I'll eventually delete it if nobody likes it or reviews lmao. But, hopefully you check it out. It was my pure imagination and trying to throw a different touch on the Castle plot c; **

**See that blue button on the bottom of this page? Yeah, you should click it and leave a pretty little review :P **


	23. Chapter 23: Jealousy Kills

**Chapter 23: Jealousy Kills**

There were numerous songs that inspired this - one being the song I mention in this chapter - like, Mayday Parade's 'Oh Well, Oh Well' & 'Miss You So' by Frank Ocean.

* * *

_I just don't know how to choose between two guys that love me and not know where the doors lead._

_He slides his arms through his jacket, kisses Lucas's forehead and makes his way to the door, "I'll see you in a couple days to get Lucas."_

_With that, he shut the door, leaving me in the middle of the dining room with tears falling down my face._

* * *

**K POV **

It's been three days since Castle saw the kiss between Josh and I. I sat against the wall on the tile floor that our son sat on to play with his toy train set. Lucas Alexander Castle, I thought to myself. I finally figured out why I had chosen the middle name of Alexander. It was because though I may have not know it, I remembered that name and it's not much of a coincidence that Rick's original middle name was Alexander before he changed it to Edgar.

"Mama?" Luke waddled to my side holding up his coloring book in his tiny hands.

I looked up from my hands, "Yes, Sweetie?" I noticed the book between his hands, careful took it from him and watched as he directed me to a page in the book.

"Papa made this one." He stated with a smile.

"Oh, he did, did he?" I returned a soft smile.

He giggled, "Where's Papa?" he asked with the confusion of not seeing his father in a couple of days.

"He's—". I started off before hearing a knocking on the door.

"Papa!" Luke shrieked and ran into his father's arms.

I gave Castle a spare key to the hotel room a week or two back, that way he'd be able to come in the hotel to get Luke whenever he needed him.

"Hey, kiddo." Castle squeezed him slightly before pulling him off of his chest and ticking his ribs.

Luke let out a high pitched scream of joy and the giggles escaped his lips.

I picked myself off the floor, walked over to him, and crossed my arms across my chest, "Hey." I whispered.

"Hello, Kate." He nodded slightly, making his way back to Luke's face.

* * *

"Where are you taking him today?" I questioned, watching him text someone.

"The park," he clicked send, "he's going on a play-date with one of my neighbor's toddlers." He answered back, focusing on his phone.

"You're going to watch them both?"

"Actually, if you must know, I'm going to be there with the boys and my neighbor, Cindy." He glanced up to meet my stare after a few seconds of silence.

"Cindy?" I asked, jealousy spitting off my tongue.

"Yes? Is that a problem?" He questioned, raising his eyebrow slightly.

"Honestly, yes, it bothers me a lot. I don't know this "Cindy" girl – which by the way, her name sounds slutty – and I don't feel comfortable with her around my son." I looked away from him; the rage in my eyes couldn't be seen by him.

"Kate, he's my son, too. I am allowed to take him to the park if I feel that he'd not only have fun, but would be safe." He shook his head in disbelief, "Plus, I'm going to be there."

"How old is this "Cindy" girl, anyway?" I shot a death glare his way.

"Beckett, it's none of your business." He put his iPhone in his pocket and made his way to Lucas's room, "I'm going to get him ready, now, if you don't mind." He walked into the hotel bedroom.

"Stupid Cindy, that whore is probably going to try and sleep with _my_ man." I muttered.

I then realized that Castle wasn't my man. We weren't dating, we weren't married, either. We were two people who had history and had a child together. As much as I wanted Castle, I knew that I messed up and didn't know if Josh was good enough.

Luke ran out the room in a blue polo shirt and khaki shorts that were a little too big for his size (luckily, we had a belt, though) and his beige sandals, "Mama, I get to play with Tony today!" He gave a Castle smile, showing his tiny teeth.

"I know, Honey. Papa told me. You listen here," I leaned down, "Be good for Papa and have fun, okay?" I whispered, kissing his forehead.

"Pwomise." His lisp heard, while he hugged my leg.

* * *

I flopped down onto the bed, focusing on the ceiling.

My phone rang.

I turned to grab it, seeing Josh's face appear.

I clicked ignore and looked back up.

I turned the radio on, hearing Colbie Caillat's 'Never Told You' play.

I listened closely to the lyrics:

And now I miss everything about you  
I can't believe it, I still want you  
After all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you, whoa...  
I see your blue eyes  
Every time I close mine  
You make it hard to see  
Where I belong to  
When I'm not around you  
It's like I'm not with me

I felt like she knew exactly how I was feeling.

I could understand the feelings Castle had when he saw me kissing Josh.

It had to be the same feelings I had hearing about this date with his neighbor, Cindy.

I closed my eyes, continuing listening, before it hit me.

The memories of years back.

_"Detective Beckett, I understand that you have walls that you may or may not want to break just yet, however, my father has been drinking a shot of scotch every night before bed, he's been beating himself up because he feels he's not good enough for you. I don't appreciate the fact that you're hurting my father. Sure, you're independent and I love that about you, you're someone I look up to but, in this area, I'm not a huge fan of you. In fact, it's pretty upsetting that you're making my father go through this. In fact, I want to show you what happened when you and he those fights." She got up and made me follow her to his office, "Do you see that hole in the wall? Yeah, that's what he did when he came home. That's what my grandmother told me, anyway. I wasn't present at that time and neither was she but she could tell that he wasn't too happy the day he came home. My grandmother didn't tell me the whole thing but, I can tell it's about this whole "I love you but won't say it" type thing. I get it, like I said, you have those walls that you haven't let down but, until you're actually ready to let my father in or accept that this is partially your fault, maybe you should get my father to take some days off. You both need to clear your heads or talk this through. I'm assuming that you're here to do that so, I'm not going to kick you out so soon. I'll let my father come home and talk to you. You're welcome to stay on the couch while I throw this chicken in the oven and go upstairs to finish up some homework."_

I remembered the look on her face as she lectured me on how much her father deserved to be treated like I cared.

_"I need to talk to you. I have to make this right again. It's killing me knowing that I'm losing you, not only as a partner but as a friend…and everything else you are to me." My voice was shaky. I couldn't control the quickening of my breath; I was nervous that he'd kick me out and not listen to what I had to say._

_"Fine, go ahead." His arms were still crossed over his chest._

_"Castle, I really fucked up this time didn't I?" I waited for him to nod before continuing, "It was not your fault but mine and it was your heart on the line; I really fucked it up this time." I took a deep breath before taking a step forward and looking at his face to find any sign of forgiveness, I wasn't going to get it right away but apologizing would sort of make things easier for us; one step at a time._

_"Well, I agree. You did fuck it up. I don't know if I can forgive you just yet though." His eye lowered and now was my chance; it was now or never._

_"Castle, I love you." I said quickly before taking another step towards him again searching for any hope that I could receive._

Everything hit me like a bag of bricks.

I took a deep breath, now remembering exactly what happened before the crash.

I may not have known the whole thing, but the most important parts of that night flashed its way into my memory.

* * *

**R POV**

I watched Luke playing in the sandbox, telling Tony the story of the firefighter action figure and how his leg was chewed off by a magical flying bear in battle.

"He's such an adorable child." Cindy commented, admiring my son.

"He is, isn't he?" I chuckled, pride beaming in my eyes.

"He looks just like you." She smiled.

"Yeah. He looks like his mother a lot, too." I added.

"Speaking of her, how are you two?" She turned to face me.

I twirled my thumbs around each other, "We're fine." I answered, keeping my cool.

"I can tell that you're lying, Rick. I know how it is, Liz is always making me upset like that, too. I can tell that you two are on the rocks and you aren't doing so well." She told me about Liz, her girlfriend. Yes, shocking, such a beautiful brunette dating another woman who adopted Tony. Which amused me greatly that Kate was so jealous.

She grabbed my hand, "Everything'll get better, Rick." she whispered.

I turned my face in an angle to face her and give a thankful smile.

* * *

"Lily? What are you doing here?" I asked, walking out the loft after putting Lucas in the bedroom.

"Rick, I'm so sorry for showing up like this, but Chance and I got into a fight, and we're rocky, and things just aren't working out. I don't know what to do anymore!" She explained with speed. I had to stop her before she continued her road runner talk.

"Hey. Hey. Hey." I put my hand up to gesture her to stop.

"I'm sorry." She leaned into me, clutching my shirt and sobbing into my jacket.

"You two'll get better, Lily. And if not, he didn't deserve such a wonderful woman like you." I soothed her, rubbing small circles in her back.

She leaned back, looking up into my eyes. Her blue eyes met mine, filled with emotion and heartbreak, "Thank you for always being here for me, Richard." She leaned forward and pecked my lips.

I leaned my forehead against her's after she pulled away.

She kissed me once more.

I felt the soft sensation of her full lips, but nobody could compare to Kate. and as mad as I was at Kate, I knew that I loved her and couldn't lost Lily as a friend. Especially since she was just going through the same pain as me and needed comfort.

I pushed her back, "Lily, I'm sorry. We can't do this." I whispered.

She slowly let go of my shirt and took a step back, "You're right. I apologize. I don't know what came over me." She whispered.

I lifted her chin with my fingers, cupping her face between my hands, "You're just upset right now. We're great friends and we both know we love who we're with. No matter how upset we are with them. We just need to cool off." I kissed her forehead.

"I know, Rick. You're such an amazing guy." She smiled softly.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her inside, "I'll make you lunch and you can watch some television with Lucas and me." I opened the door and made my way to the kitchen, where I heated up leftovers.

* * *

**K POV**

I walked up the hallways, stopping when I saw Rick kissing a female outside of his loft.

His forehead was pressed against hers before making their way to kissing again.

I turned around and walked back around to the elevator, then turning back to the loft because as much as the sight of him moving on broke my heart, I needed to get Lucas.

_Knock. Knock._

Rick opened the door with a smile, "Hey. You're here to get Luke?" he asked with a man-childlike grin and a bowl of chili in his hands.

"Yes, but before that happens—"I gripped him by the hem of his shirt, closing the door behind him and dragging him to the hallway, "You're supposed to be watching Lucas! Not kissing a bunch of women outside of your loft." I scolded just above a whisper.

"You saw that?" he asked, laughing.

"Of course I saw that! You should be watching our son!" I lectured.

"She's just a friend," he started, "She jus-."

"Friends?!" she scoffed, "You were kissing her! That looks like it's more than friends. Was that Cindy?" I spat out, sarcastically.

"No, it's Lily." He said.

"Wow," I turned in a circle before looking at him again, "Two women in one day. You're back to your old habits, Castle?" I spat out.

"She was crying and came on to me, if you must know. She has a boyfriend and believe me, she's the only friend that understands my pain!" He yelled back.

"Whatever." I dragged it out, letting him know that I didn't believe him.

"Are you jealous, Beckett?" He asked amused.

Realization colored his face.

"Hell no." I spat out.

I looked away from him, not allowing his blue eyes to meet mine.

"You're such a terrible liar." He chuckled.

"Can I just have my son and go?" I mumbled.

He took me back inside, throwing a spoon of chili into his mouth and getting Lucas's things together.

Lily waved friendly and took a bite out of her crackers.

"Hello." I gave a fake smile.

I took Lucas and left as fast as possible. I didn't want to cry in front of my son and I sure as hell wouldn't be crying in front of Castle and his "girlfriend" or whatever this Lily woman was.

* * *

**R POV**

"What's up with her?" Lily asked me.

"She thinks I'm sleeping with you. We're on the rocks, too. I feel your pain, Lily." I shook my head, chuckling.

"Oh." Was all she could manage before switching the subject.

* * *

_**The few days later… **_

**K POV**

_Ring. Ring. _

"Hey, Espo." I answered.

I stopped by the Precinct a week or two ago. Seeing everyone again not only helped my memory but also caused a lot of tears of happiness. They had just found out that I was alive and fine. Plus, Gates offered my job – if I was up to coming back to the Precinct as her best detective.

I agreed.

I'm sure Castle would want to be ecstatic to be shadowing again. Ever since my accident a few years back, he stopped writing temporarily – which Gina wasn't too happy with, but understood how upset he was – and now it was his chance to let a best-seller come back out.

"Hey, boss." He smiled through the phone.

Ever since I came back, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, and Gates would call to check up on me and ask how I was feeling. Today was different, though.

"Hey. How are you?" I started.

"I'm just peachy, but the body that just dropped isn't. You up for your first case in two years?" He asked, chuckling.

"Of course. I'll let Danielle come over and watch Lucas and Castle and I will be there in thirty." I answered, clicking the phone's end button right after his okay.

I dialed Dani's number, getting her voicemail. So, I resorted to taking Lucas to Rick's and leaving him with Alexis and then just taking Castle with me.

* * *

"You don't mind, do you?" I asked her with a sheepish smile.

"Of course not! I love spending time with my little brother." She smiled down at the toddler who was now grinning at the television.

"Thank you so much, Alexis!" I hugged her and made my way to Castle's office.

"A body just dropped, we should probably get going now." I told him.

He quickly saved his document and shut his laptop, grabbed his things and walked passed me to the door.

* * *

"So, what do we know so far?" Castle asked, obviously excited to be back to solving crimes with all of us.

"Well, the victim is a nineteen year old female, Victoria Armstrong, she was hanging from a balcony when we found her. There was no sign of struggling, but we did see that she was beat incessantly with—" Ryan picked up the bat from the table, "- That." we thought we had a lead on her roommate, Talisha, but we were wrong. We interrogated her and found out that she was having an affair with an friend from her childhood, which Talisha says made her boyfriend, Tyler Walling, pretty furious and they blew up at each other last Monday. She said if anything, he might be at the Pub." Esposito finished.

"Jealousy kills," Castle glanced at each of us, "Literally!" He waited for my response.

"Wow. So, have we found him yet?" I questioned, looking down at Victoria's file, ignoring Castle's humor. We had to stay professional when it came to working at the Precinct and that meant trying to leave our emotional fighting at the entrance.

"Not yet. You both came right when we were going to go check out the Pub. Talisha says he left town a couple days ago, but eye-witnesses say they say him with Victoria yesterday afternoon. " Ryan added.

"Well, then let's go catch this sonavabitch." I turned on my heels; they followed behind after gathering their guns and coats.

I turned to them in the elevator, "You two will go to where Talisha said he hangs out, while Castle and I go to see if he's in his apartment. If he didn't leave like Talisha thought he did, he might be grabbing some of his things to move around while we look for him."

"Got it." Ryan and Esposito said in unison.

* * *

**You all have no idea how happy I was to wake up to about six reviews this morning and come home to see the reviews had gone up to around 13! See how it works? You all review, give me an idea of how you feel and how I can make the story better (which, I do take to consideration what you all have to say) and we all win because it gives me more ideas and gets my mind flowing on how to better the story. Therefore, I am so ecstatic that I felt the need to reward you all with another chapter for the night. However, I am hoping to get more reviews along the way. Trust me, it helps me a lot when you all tell me how you feel about the chapters or tell me how much you like the story.**

**I guess a lot of you must be enjoying the story :) It makes me happy to see that ^.^ Maybe if I get more reviews and more people to read this fanfiction, I'll try to keep this up. It took me about three hours to make this chapter, plus, it's pretty long - longer than my last one, anyway. And, I have to do some homework now. Lol. **

**Hopefully you all like this chapter. I wanted to throw a scene in where Kate started to regain her memory (the flashback is from Chapter 5: Little Lion Man) and a scene where Kate gets a taste of her own medicine. AND, I wanted to add a case to it because what is Castle without a cool case? Especially since she's been gone for two years and needed to get back to what she does best. In another chapter or so, we'll include Jim and Beckett moments! Yaa-.**

**R: At least you brought Kate back. You scared me half to death. .**

**K: *quiet***

**Gosh darn it! Really, Castle? You had to interrupt? -_- **

**R: Haha. That's what you get. :P *runs off***

**K: *still quiet; leaves***

**_Oooookay._ Speaking of the two not so lovebirdy birds in this chapter, I hope you guys have seen the promo to 5x21 'Still' in CTV form. I'm a little skeptical about that 'I love you', because in 5x22, Castle gets jealous of a guy solving a case with Kate and what makes me skeptical is the fact that if she said it to his face, why would he get jealous if he knows she loves him? BUT, I could be wrong. *fingers cross* I think she'll tell him, but not directly. Maybe when he leaves the room? Also, I'm really hoping we get through a layer of the Castle onion because like what Meredith said in 5x10, she didn't have much to know on Castle like he did on her. I think he's going to have to release some info and get his feelings out in 5x22. One episode at a time, though lol. I think we should also focus on not only Kate not saying those three big words, but we've gone a season without Rick saying it again? Not even once. Shame on them both! **

**Anyway, that was my little talk with you all. Are you all excited about 5x21? & How are you liking this chapter? Review please! :)**


	24. Chapter 24: Never Will Work

**Chapter 24: Never Will Work**

I don't have a song for this chapter :P

* * *

_"Well, then let's go catch this sonavabitch." I turned on my heels; they followed behind after gathering their guns and coats._

_I turned to them in the elevator, "You two will go to where Talisha said he hangs out, while Castle and I go to see if he's in his apartment. If he didn't leave like Talisha thought he did, he might be grabbing some of his things to move around while we look for him."_

_"Got it." Ryan and Esposito said in unison._

* * *

**K POV**

"So, did Lucas behave well at the park with your date?" I glanced out of the corner of my eye as I drove.

"First of, Cindy is lesbian, has a toddler, and is in a relationship with a _female_. Plus, we've been great friends for a couple years now. Secondly, he acted like he usually acts. You didn't have to worry about it." He stated, turning his head to face the window.

"Oh." I whispered, feeling incredibly stupid for thinking he was sleeping with her.

"How about you? How's Josh?" He asked, obviously not wanting to know the answer.

"Actually, I haven't talk to him for several days." I admitted, stealing another glance at his beautiful face.

He nodded, trying to seem like he didn't care. Then again, I couldn't tell if he did or didn't care about my answer.

"The amnesia is slowly going away." I whispered.

"Excuse me?" He turned to face me with a confused face.

"I remembered something last night, or at least, I think I did. It could be my imagination. The doctor told me that that could happen." I explained, stuttering slightly.

"What was the memory?" He asked, concern hinting in his voice.

I explained the night I came over and Alexis lectured me, I described the way I apologized and told him that I loved him.

He let his head dropped and took a big sigh, "That was a memory." He confirmed my memory as being the truth and not just imagination.

"Well, that's good, then, isn't it? I'm already remembering the way we used to be a few years back, all that I have to remember now is the other things where we fell in love and what happen-." I started.

He cut me off, "Don't worry about it, Kate. I understand, you're happy with whomever you're seeing." He muttered.

"But, I," I started again.

"Drop it, Beckett." His voice turned from understanding to a low growl of anger and pain.

* * *

I walked up to the apartment, wearing my vest, a gun in my hands, and Castle trailing behind.

I knocked on the door, "NYPD! Open up!" I shouted from the other side of the wooden door.

_Silence._

I kicked the door open, looking around the room with my gun pointing around, "Hello?" I spoke up.

"Beckett, look at this." Castle spoke from the dining room.

"What is it?" I placed the gun in the holster and walked to his side.

"A note," he said, picking it up and reading the note that was talking about a break up.

"So, Talisha was right, they must've fought over this." I looked down at the paper.

"Where is her childhood friend that she was seeing?" He asked.

"Well, Espo sent a text saying that they found him and were interrogating him right now." I told him, placing the paper in a bag to bring back as evidence.

"Well, we should go back to the Precinct, then." He suggested.

* * *

"Kate!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind.

Castle and I slowly turned to face Josh, who was now running up to us with his helmet in his hands, "Hey! I called the other day, but you didn't answer." He leaned forward to plant a kiss on his lips.

I placed my hand on his chest and kept him away, "Sorry. I was busy." I lied.

Castle watched us in disbelief that I hadn't let Josh kiss me.

"You okay?" He asked with his eyebrows knitted together.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him farther from Castle, "Josh," I started, "Why did we break up the first time?" I asked.

"Oh," He rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, I was in Haiti for a long time and we just didn't have time for the relationship. Plus, I knew that Castle's 'Always' would never be defeated by my 'I love you'." He admitted, glaring at Castle, who was now kicking a can on the floor.

"Well, you're right," I whispered. His head snapped away from Castle and stared into my eyes, "Your 'I love you' can never match his 'Always', and it kills me to hurt you twice, but I love Rick and that's who I want to be with." I admitted, looking up at him seeing sorrow filled look in his eyes.

"I knew you'd want him. The amnesia would wear off eventually." He whispered, "It's fine, though. I'll have plenty of other girls." He shrugged his shoulders and walked off.

_Wow. Dick move?_

* * *

I walked passed Castle, brushing my shoulder against him, "What happened?" he asked, concerned.

"I told him that we wouldn't happen." I opened the car door and got in.

Castle looked over as I drove to the Precinct, "I'm sorry." He gave a soft smile.

"It's fine. He was acting like an asshole when I told him, anyway. If anyone should be sorry, it should be me." I admitted, painfully.

"You got that right." He chuckled softly.

"I really am sorry, Rick." I took grasp of his hand.

"I understand." He said, pulling his hand away from mine.

"I'm sorry for calling Cindy a slut, too. I was jealous and overreacting. Plus, if anyone was acting like a slut, it was me. I shouldn't have used my amnesia as an excuse." I glanced over at his blank expression.

"I'm glad you realized that." He said sharply.

He didn't show any emotion. His face lacked happiness. He didn't care that I had apologized. I assumed that he was waiting for me to prove myself to him. If that's what he wanted, that's what I'd do.

"Zombies." Castle muttered.

"Zombies? Castle, this isn't our case. We already figured out that that kid wasn't a zombie. I don't know why you bring it up, incessantly." I shook my head.

His face filled with shock, "You remember that case?" He questioned.

"I told you that I was starting to remember a lot more than usual. Speaking of remembering things, Lucas wanted me to remind you that he wanted to hang out with Tony again." I smiled.

"Okay. I'll be over later then." He said, looking at his iPhone.

* * *

"Daddy, how're you doing?" I asked scratching my head as Luke got his soldiers from the room, waiting for Rick to come over.

"I'm great, Sweetheart. How is my favorite grandson?" I remembered the day I went over to see him, like it was yesterday. The way he opened the door and took two minutes to process that I was well and alive. On top of that, I had his grandson. If my dad wasn't so healthy, he would've had a heart attack then and there. I remember the way he cried for a good half an hour as I was explaining what happened and how Rick came back to Italy to get me.

"He's great." I smiled over at Lucas making swooshing noises and making sure the blanket in his back pocket – the one Rick gave him, and became attached to – stayed there, hanging out of it.

* * *

Rick walked in, tickling Lucas in the cutest way.

The way their eyes beamed with joy and the mirrored smile they gave me when I giggled towards them.

I continued talk to my father on the phone. Planning a day in which he'd come over and spend quality time with Lucas.

"We'll be back in a few, Mama." Castle teased.

"Okay, be careful, baby." I said.

His face was neutral.

"Lucas, I was talking to him." I chuckled.

"Oh, okay." He laughed and took Lucas out the door.

"Dad, I need advice." I started once Rick left with our son.

"Shoot." He said over the line.

* * *

**I know. This chapter is small, but it was more of a filler :P & You have all been leaving reviews that are just making me so happy that I feel like writing a chapter today. Now, I have to get to my homework, but I gave you this :P No more Josh, huh? Turns out he was an asshole *cheers with you all* Now all Kate has to do is win Castle back.**

**I wonder what Jim will say o: **

**Ayeee, leave a review telling me if you liked the chapter and what should be in the next one. I'm willing to take some ideas on the case, on Caskett, etc. :P **


	25. Chapter 25: Woman's Worth

**Chapter 25: Woman's Worth**

This chapter was inspired by the following songs:

J Holiday: Bed

Maxwell: Woman's Work

R. Kelly: Seems Like You're Ready

* * *

_"Lucas, I was talking to him." I chuckled._

_"Oh, okay." He laughed and took Lucas out the door._

_"Dad, I need advice." I started once Rick left with our son._

_"Shoot." He said over the line._

* * *

**K POV**

"Rick and I are on the rocks right now." I started.

"Well, what seems to be the problem, Katie?" He asked.

I ran a hand through my hair, "I kissed Josh, thinking that we'd work out. You obviously know about my amnesia and I just didn't know if Castle was right for me. So, I made that mistake until today when I told Josh that I loved Castle." I explained.

I heard him sigh, "It took me four years to realize I loved your mother and the way I looked at her, is the way Rick looks at you, Katie. You need to make things right. I know that if your mother would've done that to me – especially seeing that Rick is still taking care of you and my grandson, Lucas – I would've been heartbroken, placing walls – thick walls – around me. That could be the reason he's acting the way you think he might be." I could tell he shrugged over the phone.

"So, just apologize?" I asked, confused with what he was telling me to do.

"Do what you feel is necessary, Katie. You love him, he loves you, and you both love Luke. Make things better. Anyway, I have to go, Katie. I'll see you in a few days." He said.

I sighed, told him I loved him and hung up.

"Luke just went to sleep," Rick said, placing his hands on the chair, watching me clean the dishes, "He had a long day; so you shouldn't be worried about him getting up in the middle of the night."

"Thank you, Castle." I smiled softly in his direction.

He placed his hands at my hips, "You're tired?" He whispered against my neck, breathing into my ear.

I sucked in a breath, leaning into his muscular frame, "A tad bit. I'm awake now, though." I smirked.

A cool chuckle hit the back on my neck when he lathered my neck with small kisses.

* * *

_It was a couple of minutes before he started thrusting into me. I came, gasping moaning his name and digging my nails into his shoulders. He kissed me until me came down from my high and started to thrust slowly into my body again._

_I flipped him as he picked up speed once more, straddling him again. I moved above him as he knead my breasts, playing with my nipples. He sat up to suck on them and I clawed at his hair pushing his face into them more. Rocking back and forth, he started moaning my name; I knew that he was close. I liked being in control of this, making him come by my movements, but Rick was obviously on a different page to me as he flipped us once more and pounded into me with ferocity. His breath was hot on my neck again and I could feel my body tense._

_I moaned his name for the second time and he came with me. My body quaked and twitched with aftershocks as he stayed in me, hands trailing all over my body, lips on my neck, feeling me tremble._

_I kissed him again waiting for the tremors to stop. I pulled his head back from mine by the hair and told him again. 'I love you.' I bit her lip as I watched his face smile._

_'I love you, too.' He kissed me quickly before moving out of me and wrapped me in his arms. We were content to just listen to the other breathing. _

_His fingers traced the middle of my shoulder blades, allowing his breath to caress my back. He continued to draw small hearts on my naked body, pulling my hair gently away from my back, onto the front of my body, allowing more access to draw with his smooth fingertips. _

"_Rick," I giggled, "What're you doing?" I furrowed my eyebrows curious as to why he continued drawing on my back._

"_I just feel like I need to touch you." He chuckled, huskily. _

_I squirmed to face him in his arms, planting small kisses on his jaw, "We could always go for round two." I whispered seductively. _

_His smirk was too sexy, "I love you, Kate." He whispered seriously. _

"_I know." I nodded, placing my chin on his chest, looking into his blue orbs. _

_He rubbed the small of my back, pulling the sheets a little lower along with his hand. _

_His eyes dilated with lust, "I'd love to go for round two." He flipped us, positioning him above me, spreading my legs apart with his knee. _

"_I'm sure you do." I laughed, letting him see the glint in my eyes._

"_Mhm," __He mumbled into my neck, sucking on my skin. _

_A hand trailing down my stomach, I twitched and moaned when his hands slipped between my thighs.__I started rubbing my hips into him, grinding as I started to feel him harden again. I couldn't get enough of this man. I felt like I was on fire everywhere he touched me. His fingers __stroked__me, probing me, making me twitch and moan every time they grazed my clit. _

"_I just want to taste you, Kate." He whispered, kissing down my stomach, lowering himself down south. I moaned, grasping his hair between my fingers. _

_He kissed my inner thigh, sucking on it and licking around the love bite he just made. His cool breathe hit my wet heat, "Seems like you're ready." He chuckled, the huskiness in his tone. He licked me, causing my head to fall back onto the pillow, moaning loudly, my moaning filled the room. He picked up his speed, not allowing me to catch my breath. He wanted me to come for a second time in less than thirty minutes. Then it hit me. I felt like I was on fire as I convulsed, arching towards him._

_How the hell is he doing this to me?_

_'I love watching you do that.' He smiled at me._

_I couldn't form words; I just smiled and pulled his lips to mine. Minutes passed as our lips moved together, until I finally took control, flipped him over and slipped him into me again. Taking his hands and pinning them above his head._

_'These are not to move.' I breathed seductively. I started moving up and down on him, rolling my hips occasionally – __oh and he likes that, __I noted. He bit his lip, wetting them with his tongue when he let go. I started to ride him quicker, his eyes closing as I brought __him__ closer this time. My fingers intertwined with his, my weight on them forcing them into the mattress. He squeezed them tighter as his breathing fastened. He was close, though he looked like he was trying not to release._

"_C'mon, Ricky. You know you want to unravel yourself," I purred seductively, nibbling his ear._

_His eyes closed, moaning into the crook of my neck, "Kate," I continued rolling my hips against him, "Ugh, You will be the death of me." He muttered, finally releasing his juices into my body breathlessly. _

_Buzz. Buzz. _

I opened my eyes, feeling around my bed for the phone that was now buzzing next to me.

I tried remembering last night, looking at the left side of my bed, seeing that it wasn't as messy as it was last night with Rick.

I slid my finger across the phone, answering it, "Beckett." I muttered, sleepily into the speaker.

"Kate, sorry for waking you up, are you okay?" He asked over the phone, apologetically.

"Castle, where did you go last night?" I questioned.

_Why wasn't he next to me when I woke up? Did he leave earlier?  
_

"Kate? You saw me leave the apartment right after we kissed. I called to apologize for that. I shouldn't have done that." He explained, he was the one confused now.

I stayed silent.

_All of the love and hot steamy sex was just a memory through a dream? _

I wished that it would've been repeated last night like I thought it had.

"Beckett?" He snapped me out of my thoughts, "You still there?"

I shook my head, "Yeah. I'm sorry, it's okay. Don't worry about that. I didn't mind it." I whispered.

"We're not together and it was inappropriate." He corrected me.

"Castle, since when did us being together stop you from doing something sexual or hitting on me?" I chuckled into the phone.

He stayed silent, not laughing at the comment I had just made.

"I'll be over soon to hang out with Luke. He wants me to watch Spongebob with him today." He changed the subject.

"Of course," I nodded, "That'll be fine."

* * *

He sat with Luke between his legs. Luke rolled a racecar along his thigh, giggling and squealing with joy whenever Patrick hurt himself doing something so idiotic.

I continued to cut the crust off of the three sandwiches in front of me, one for me, one for Rick, and a small finger sandwich for Luke.

I sliced it slowly, making them even, keeping my eyes on Rick the entire time.

Imagining his hands wandering over my body, grasping my ass, telling me how sexy I looked in one of his buttoned up shirts.

The way his mouth would brush against my own, sucking on my lower lip, pumping two fingers in and out of my soaking heat, whispering unimaginable things into my ear lustfully.

The knife in my hand slipped slightly, piercing my finger.

Blood oozed out. I took grasp of my index finger, cussing under my breath, holding it over the sink. Luckily, I moved the sandwiches before cutting my finger.

Rick must've noticed my pained expression because he moved Lucas off of his lap, placing him on the carpet and walked over to my side.

"Are you okay?" He placed his hands on the counter across from me, not noticing the blood in the sink.

"I accidentally cut my finger." I whispered, pushing the nozzle of the sink up so the water could hit my stinging finger.

He made his way to my side, placing a wet rag on my finger and dragged me by my wrist to the bathroom, telling Lucas to stay on the carpet while he went to go help Mama.

He clicked the tip of my finger with an alcohol wipe.

I clenched my jaw, it burned like hell.

"How'd you cut yourself?" He asked, curiously.

"With a knife, Rick." I answered sarcastically.

He shot a death glare at me, clearly not amused with my pain mixed with sarcasm.

"Obviously it was with the knife," He got up, went to the living room and grabbed Lucas and his finger sandwiches and moved him to the table facing the television, but in sight of us in the bathroom to make sure he wouldn't choke on his cut up food – which Castle made sure to cut up (with a different knife). He made his way back to me taking a seat on the edge of the sink, "Why were you so distracted? Were you thinking about something important?" He looked down at my face with curiosity filling his eyes.

"It was something stupid." I muttered, embarrassed.

"What was it?" He asked again.

"As a novelist, I'm sure you've heard the saying: 'Curiosity killed the cat.'" I smiled, blush coloring my neck and cheeks.

"As a novelist, I have. But, as Rick, I really don't care. I'm not a cat. I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

"I know you're big." I said, covering my mouth with my free hand that he wasn't placing the bandage on, noticing that I had said that aloud.

He smirked, roaring with laughter at the way I covered my face. The heat on my face was probably radiating off of me.

"That's what you were thinking about, huh?" He laughed, egotistically. I hadn't seen him laugh like that since we first started talking when I introduced him to his son. In fact, the only one who could make him laugh like that in front of me was Lucas himself, who was still sticking small sandwich pieces into his tiny mouth as he watched the yellow sponge dancing across the screen.

I let him finish wrapping the bandage around my finger, standing up and making my way out of the bathroom, "Pfft." I laughed nervously.

"Did you remember us doing that?" he continued on asking, following me around the kitchen to grab his sandwich.

I didn't answer.

I turned around to find him leaning towards me, his hands on either side of my body.

"You did, didn't you?" He asked again.

I pushed a piece of hair out of my face, blush creeping its way to my face once again, "Okay, yes." I admitted.

He smirked and pushed himself away from me once again, "Okay. That's all I needed to know." He winked and made his way to sit by Lucas to eat his sandwich.

* * *

**Okay, I know you all want to kill me because it was just a dream, but c'mon. I needed a little heat in the story even if it was just a dream ;) This is rated M for smut as well ;D C'mon, I know you guys had to like it just a tad bit, even. Now, I loved Castle's jealousy in The Squab & Quail, so I had the inspiration to write a chapter today c: Along with your all many reviews which has made me so happy lol! **

**I saw the supposable "I love you" scene for "Still" on a tumblr and I have to say, "Wow." I cried. I won't spoil the episode with a "She did say it" or "She didn't say it", but I have to say the scene I watched was pretty emotional and I cannot wait to see the entire episode. If you want to see it, here it is: thelifemodeldecoy. tumblr post/48699878545/the-scene-everybody-has-been-wait ing-for-sorry**

**No spaces. lol. It's pretty emotional. I know some of you want to see it ahead of time so you can watch that. If not, wait until Monday but either way you'll know what I'm talking about :3 **

**Anyway, reviews make me happy. Share your thoughts on the chapter?**


	26. Chapter 26: Truth Is

**Chapter 26: Truth is**

The songs that inspired this are: 

Tank: "I can't make you love me" and Fantasia: "Truth Is".

* * *

_I turned around to find him leaning towards me, his hands on either side of my body._

_"You did, didn't you?" He asked again._

_I pushed a piece of hair out of my face, blush creeping its way to my face once again, "Okay, yes." I admitted._

_He smirked and pushed himself away from me once again, "Okay. That's all I needed to know." He winked and made his way to sit by Lucas to eat his sandwich._

* * *

I leaned against the doorframe watching him tuck Lucas in, placing his action figure by his side and kissing his forehead.

"Mama," Lucas glanced over at me and waved his arms in the air to get me to his side, "Papa said night-night. It's your turn!" He gave the famous Castle smile, showing his tiny teeth and waited for my kiss.

I sat down on the edge of his bed, placing my hand on Castle's leg, not noticing it immediately, and pushed strands of Lucas's hair off his forehead, leaning down to plant a kiss where no hair was. "I love you." I whispered.

"Mama?" Luke looked up with curious eyes.

"Yes, baby?" I continued to look down at him with a smile.

"Grandma said Mamas and Papas are 'posed to love each other. Do you and Papa love each other?" He whispered, moving his eyes to look at Castle, whose facial expression was pained.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "Luke, honey, you ask a lot of questions for a little kid. Go to bed. We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?" I gave a small smile.

He nodded and turned under the covers, grasping his G.I Joe in the crook of his eyes and closed his eyes, fake snoring for a few minutes before opening his eyes to look at us.

Castle chuckled and gave a stern look, "Goodnight, Luke." He said, getting up and walking to the doorframe.

I followed behind him when Luke finally gave up and decided he was tired and done messing around.

Rick turned to the couch to retrieve his coat.

I walked my bedroom, waiting for him to come in.

"I'm going to get going, 'kay?" He knocked before entering my room.

I walked out with a mouth full of foam and toothbrush in between my teeth.

I signaled a stop motion before going to the sink to risk my mouth out and spit.

* * *

"What's wrong?" He asked when I walked in with sad eyes and wiped my mouth with a small towel.

I placed it on the counter and strolled to his side.

"Kate?" He watched my every move as I grabbed his hand.

"Rick, can we talk? Please?" I looked up with pleading eyes.

He nodded slowly, following me to the couch.

"What's going on?" He questioned, sitting by my side.

"What Lucas said in there," I started, twirling my thumbs.

"I understand. You don't feel that way. I understand. You were like that for four years before we got together." He said quickly.

His head dropped slightly, trying to act like he was okay with the fact that he hadn't heard me say those three words in almost three years.

I lifted his head slightly, "I may have my walls, Castle. But, I know you do, too. What I did with Josh hurt you. I know that rights now you're trying to act like you aren't in pain, but you are. I am so sorry, Rick," I scooted forward, "I'm sorry for everything I did. I'm so sorry." I leaned in and brushed my lips against his soft ones.

Another flashback from years ago came crawling back in.

* * *

_"Coming!" He jogged to the door and opened it before laying his eyes on who was standing outside in his hallway._

_"Castle, we need to talk." He looked right into my eyes and bit the inside of his cheek, he wasn't going to let me see that seeing me made him slightly better but at the same time killing him inside that I had the audacity to face him within less than six hours._

_"Beckett, what do you want?" He continued to stare at me trying to hurry up this conversation so I could leave._

_"You." I walked up to him and gave him a kiss, he could taste something strong when I shoved my tongue into his mouth, it was alcohol; I was drunk. He pulled away and pushed me off slightly._

_"You need to leave," He turned me around and led me to the door. "You're drunk." I giggled and grabbed his hand._

_"Ricky, don't be this way. I'm sorry I hid the fact that I knew you loved me for a year but, I have strong feelings for you. Please? Let's talk this through?" He took a moment to pause and think about it but, he_ _knew damn well that he shouldn't sit down and 'talk this through'. He led me out to the hallway, called a cab and stepped out into the hallway with me._

_"How did you get here, Beckett?" He asked letting the iciness of his tone sink in._

_"I drove over here." I shrugged like it was nothing._

_"Are you crazy?! You could've gotten into a car accident! I'm calling you a cab; I'll bring your car over tomorrow after work."_

_"You could let me stay the night?" I played with the top button of his dress shirt and he pulled my wrists off of him and placed it at my sides._

_"No."_

* * *

_Déjà vu._

He pushed me back slightly, catching his breath.

"I can't just make you love me, Kate, especially if you don't love me because you can't make someone's heart feel something that it just won't." He sighed, breathing out the obvious painful sentence.

"Rick," I breathed, kissing him once more, "I'm terribly sorry. I shouldn't have done it." I begged.

"Kate, until you wait four years for someone, then go through the loss of thinking they're dead with your child, and when you finally get them back, they slip through your fingers for an ex-lover. You don't feel my pain!" His eyebrows knitted together, iciness in his voice.

"If you just give me a chance to prove myself, I can! Don't you remember the first time I told you I loved you or our first time or the dancing in the living room of your loft? You know that my memory is coming back and I'm remembering more and more each and every day, Rick. I can do this. You wanted those walls gone and they're gone and I'm vulnerable…. Just give me a chance." I lowered my voice slightly, my eyes not leaving his.

"You remember…" He finally realized that what I was saying was heartfelt and I didn't just pull all this out of my ass."

"Truth is I'm still in love with you, Rick. I never got over you. No matter how many memories were gone temporarily, my heart knew you were my one and done. _Always_." I repeated our one word that meant everything.

His lips crashed into mine, pushing me against the couch cushions with a needing force.

I ran my hands through his hair, feeling every inch and line of his face, moving his hair off his forehead like I did with Lucas not even an hour ago – LUCAS.

I pushed Rick off of me slightly, realizing we were making out on the couch and I couldn't horrify Luke with the sight of that.

"Bedroom?" He growled into my ear seductively.

I nodded, fixing my hair.

He scooped me into his arms wedding style and ran into the bedroom, kicking the door shut softly with the heel of his foot and placing me on the bed with his body hovering over my own.

* * *

"I love you." He mumbled into the crook of my neck, feathering small kisses on my collarbone.

I moaned into his hair, kissing the top and grasping harder, successfully gaining a groan from him.

"I love you, too." I whispered back.

I let my head fall back when he kneed my breast through the thin fabric of the dress shirt I had on.

He chuckled when he realized what I was wearing, pulling back and looking directly at it, "This is my old dress shirt. I gave it to you – well, you took it – when we were in Italy. I forgot about this old thing. How'd you save it?" He asked curiously, forgetting the dangerously heated moment we were sharing.

"I was wearing it when the plane crashed and cleaned it once they helped me. I always thought it was my lucky shirt." I muttered, embarrassment hinting through my voice.

He, again, laughed softly and kissed my lips, "That's cute," his hands wandered back to my breasts, "And incredibly sexy." He growled.

I moaned once again, letting my head fall back with pleasure.

"God, I've missed that sound."He groaned against my lips.

He unbuttoned my shirt agonizingly slow.

His eyes almost popping out of his sockets when seeing that I wasn't wearing a bra.

"No wonder –" He groan. "—You're such a tease." He growled once more.

"Oops," I giggled, tangling my hands in his hair as he leaned down to kiss the scar from the bullet and moved his head to suck on the pink peak of my left breast, "Oh, _Rick_." I whispered his name with pleasure.

* * *

**Okay, guys, I know you probably hate me for the fact that I just stopped when it got to the good part. Cliffhangers /.\ mwahaha. Anyway, I wanted the Caskett shippers to see that they'd be okay and the fighting is done and over with... for now. **

**We will get some smut next chapter c: YAY. I haven't gotten to do much what with the plane crash, Josh and such. It's an M rated fanfic, so I feel the need to not only have cussing, suspense, etc. but have some good ole smutty scenes and chapters, too. If you all don't like that stuff, then I suggest skipping parts of chapter 27 because I'm not sure if the whole chapter will be smut or if only half will be. Leave a review telling me if you want an entire smut chapter or not.**

**Leave a review telling me if you like it, too :) Reviews make me happy and inspire new chapters ^.^ **

**I'm a little sad that I only got like 3 reviews for the last chapter because I thought it was pretty good and all, but still. Oh well, new chapter, new reviews! **

**R: *comes out of bedroom, grabs chocolate syrup, glances over at me* O_O Oh, hai.**

**Omg. Castle, go back in the room *rolls eyes* Giving away parts of next chapter.**

**R: *Runs into room quickly***

**-.- Welp, now you all know that next chapter (the smut scenes) will possibly have a chocolate syrup scene ;) ENJOY THE WAIT lolololol. \m/ Review, please!**


	27. Chapter 27: Chocolate Sensations

**Chapter 27: Chocolate Sensations**

Songs that inspired this chapter:

Trey Song: On Top

Beyoncé: 1+1

Kelly Rowland: Kisses Down Low

* * *

_"God, I've missed that sound."He groaned against my lips._

_He unbuttoned my shirt agonizingly slow._

_His eyes almost popping out of his sockets when seeing that I wasn't wearing a bra._

_"No wonder –" He groan. "—You're such a tease." He growled once more._

_"Oops," I giggled, tangling my hands in his hair as he leaned down to kiss the scar from the bullet and moved his head to suck on the pink peak of my left breast, "Oh, __Rick__." I whispered his name with pleasure._

* * *

**R POV**

She sat upon my lap, kissing me hard, tangled in a mess on limbs and clothing that hung from the side of the bed.

Without preamble, I shoved one of my fingers in her hole, once again, making her buck into my hand.

Kate gasped and writhed, screaming into my mouth as my finger pumped in and out of her in a quick pace, making her see stars.

At the same time, I used my thumb to continue rubbing her clit, working her up higher and higher until she was sure she was at Heaven's gates.

Then, suddenly, I added another finger and she shattered, screaming what sounded like my name into my mouth, her hips shaking and back arching, her legs tightening around my hips and her nails scratching at my shoulders, making me hiss.

The second orgasm was almost better than the first one.

I stood up, hearing her whimper slightly at the fact that I wasn't hovering over her.

She leaned onto one elbow, watching me intently as I strolled my way in front of her, but not nearly close enough for her to reach out and touch me.

The remained clothing I had on was my boxers.

I slowly pulled them down, smirking as my fingers made their way to my waistband to pull them over the extremely hard "equipment" down below.

Her gasp filled the room.

"Oh, God. You're so _big_." She whispered.

A chuckle came from my throat, "Did you expect me to be smaller?" I asked curiously.

She shook her head like she did once before. "For someone who was regaining her memory, you forgot a very _big_ detail about me." I smirked.

I laughed to myself.

Ah, was I a comedian.

I threw my boxers to the left, allowing them to hit the wall and join a few of our other clothes.

Placing two hands down at her sides, kissing her softly, no longer wanting to just be in her for pleasure, but for the need that I kept in, and the amount of years I lost with such an extraordinary woman.

I took a condom out of my wallet earlier before I leaned down to kiss her, handing it to her so she could put it on me.

"You want me to do it?" She looked into my eyes, shocked at the fact that I had handed it to her.

I nodded, "Unless…. It's _too_ big for you to handle." I smirked egotistically.

"I think I can handle it," she reached down between us, taking it out the package and slowly gliding her hand over my shaft to roll it on.

I groaned, closing my eyes and resting my head in the crook of her neck.

She pulled my head back up, "I love you."

She wrapped her legs around my waist, again, pulled me down against her soaked wetness and allowed me to thrust into her slowly.

It became more of impossible as I began to move inside her.

Grunting as she moaned and ran her nails over my back, scratching lightly, then harder as my thrusts picked up speed.

"Oh God!" she moaned, burying her face into my neck.

"Castle!" Her calling out my name made me thrust faster and harder so she repeated it as a mantra.

But, really, more like a prayer.

"Castle! Castle, Castle, Castle! Oh _God_, Castle!" My thrusts increased with each cry of my name and I pushed aside the hand that was on her breasts so that I could latch one to one of her breasts, sucking and nibbling, making her nearly scream with the pleasure I was giving her.

Then, suddenly, and surprising even Kate, she tensed, feeling the tsunami of pleasure rush over her body, making her scream, which I hastened to swallow so as not to wake the sleeping child next door.

I followed her shortly after, my groan dissipating in her mouth as I pounded a couple of more times into her, before collapsing. Kate wrapped her quivering arms and legs around me, holding me tightly to her.

* * *

I placed a kiss behind her ear as I spooned her.

Intertwining our fingers and slowly rubbing shapes into her side with my thumb.

A few moments later, I got up, hearing her turn to see where I was heading.

"You up for round two?" I smiled brightly.

She nodded, hugging her pillow.

I walked out, a towel wrapped around my waist, making my way across the carpet floor to the tiled kitchen.

I peeked into Lucas's room, seeing him sound asleep.

I bent down to open the refrigerator, trying to find something, searching around.

My eyes met the small container, grabbing it; I stifled a laugh, thinking of her reaction.

I shut the fridge door with my heel.

* * *

Her eyes widened, looking at the bottle in my left hand, "Chocolate syrup?" She squealed.

I grinned, making my way towards her, popping the bottle open with my thumb.

I squeezed some on her legs, massaging them, gently, and moving down to her feet, kissing each individual toe.

Kate groaned at the sensation, especially when I began licking my way up one of her legs, tasting the chocolate sensation that I was squeezing over her inner thighs, stopping at her center to get a taste of her, making her groan and raise her hips to meet my lips.

Licking my lips, moving my tongue in and out repeatedly, chocolate never tasted so good.

Her hands found my head, tangling her fingers in my thick hair, groaning about how good it felt.

I squeezed some more onto her flat stomach after licking all the chocolate off of her legs and thighs.

She moaned again as my tongue glided over her skin, sucking roughly, leaving love bites on the exposed skin.

After licking that, I was about to squeeze some onto her bare chest, but she flipped us over, straddling me and taking the bottle from my hands, squeezing some on herself and writing 'Kate' with chocolate across my chest with her fingers.

I latched my mouth over her nipple, sucking off the sticky substance from each, agonizingly slow.

Her head fell back, trying to stifle a loud moan in order to keep Lucas from interrupting us.

She pushed me back, gliding her own tongue over the chocolate over my chest, "Mmm," she purred.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation.

No wonder she enjoyed it so much.

Her hand took hold of my shaft, placing it over her entrance and sitting slowly, rolling her hips.

She flipped her hair to one side, grabbing the bottle again.

My hands made their way to her sides, clenching them as she continued to roll in a circular motion.

She squeezed the chocolate on my neck, sucking the crook of it, leaving her own hickeys on it.

"Oh, Kate," I groaned.

I always wanted her on top.

I wanted her to find her favorite spot, rolling her hips and never stopping.

I moaned, letting out my seed in her.

She soon followed, collapsing on my chest with shaky breathing.

* * *

"I've missed you so much." I whispered against her shoulder.

Lucas cried out from the room, "Mama!"

She rolled off of me, "Well, our son seems to be awake," She looked at the clock, "We've been up doing this for four hours. It's 4 AM." She threw my dress shirt on, buttoning a few up and sliding her panties up again.

"Right on time!" I winked, watching her walk out the room.

* * *

**This chapter is a little short but it's full of smut. I felt you all deserved it c: It's been a while, so I might be a little rusty o.o LOL. If you enjoyed, review and tell me your favorite part. **

**If you didn't enjoy it, please leave a review telling me why or what I could work on. The constructive criticism helps me out in making the story even better :) **

**Thanks & review for more chapters to come \m/ LOL. Enjoy this smutty chapter :3 **


	28. Chapter 28: Busted

**Chapter 28: Busted**

No current song to go with this.

* * *

_"I've missed you so much." I whispered against her shoulder._

_Lucas cried out from the room, "Mama!"_

_She rolled off of me, "Well, our son seems to be awake," She looked at the clock, "We've been up doing this for four hours. It's 4 AM." She threw my dress shirt on, buttoning a few up and sliding her panties up again._

_"Right on time!" I winked, watching her walk out the room._

* * *

**K POV**

I walked into his room, buttoning a few more buttoning and sitting on the edge of his bed, "Hey, honey." I greeted him.

"Mama, I had a nightmare." He cried, wiping his eyes, tears streaming down his chubby face.

I ran a hand over his forehead, moving a strand of hair, "Shh," he continued to cry, "It's okay, baby. I'm here now, Luke." I cooed.

His crying slowed as he clenched onto my – Castle's – dress shirt, staining it with his tears and snot.

I rubbed small circles into his back, running my hands in his hair, cooing into his hair and placing small, loving kissing on the top of his head.

His arms unwrapped from my arm and he pulled back, "Thank you, Mama." He sniffled.

I nodded, kissing his cheek, "Maybe Papa shouldn't give you cookies before bed time," I began.

"No!" Lucas cried out, "Papa giving me cookies is okay." He argued.

I chuckled internally.

This child is definitely Richard's, I thought to myself.

"Well, Papa gave you a cookie and you had a nightmare. Cookies seem to be bad for a bedtime snack." I explained strictly.

His lower lip poked out, "But…." He trailed off looking at Castle standing at the doorway.

"Lucas, you heard your mother." He backed me up, crossing his arms over his chest.

We both heard a knock come from the hotel room door.

Castle turned to look at the time.

5 A.M.

Apparently, I was calming Lucas down for a good hour, causing Castle to come check up on us.

"Who could be here so early?" I furrowed my eyebrows and then remembered how my father said he'd stop by today and he'd come early because he knew Lucas would be awake and wanted to give Rick and I some time to make up – little did he know, we already made up, and we made up for hours at that.

I smirked at Castle, who seemed to be confused, but turned on his heels and went to open the door to be greeted by his mother and my father.

* * *

**R POV**

"Richard, darling," She cried out, hugging me tightly and stepping back to see the crinkled dress shirt I had on, "You might want to iron that, Richard," She strolled passed me like a ghost, "Now, where is my little grandson?" She turned to smile.

Jim walked in, "Hello, Rick," he stuck his hand out; I grabbed it and shook slightly.

"Hello, sir," I smiled.

Kate came out – in my clothes – holding Lucas on her hip and gliding towards Jim to kiss him on the cheek, "Hey, Dad."

His eyes darted between us, from the crinkles in my shirt, to my clothing she was wearing, "Hey, Katie." He winced at the thought of his daughter having sex.

Martha grabbed Lucas, placing him at her hip and noticing the same thing Jim was processing.

"Richard?" Martha spoke up, placing Lucas back on the floor to let him run off.

"Yes, Mother?" I looked at her, trying to make this less awkward.

"What is," she leaned over, wiping her finger over the crook of my neck slightly, "This?" raising her finger to show the chocolate on her index finger.

My eyes widened, seeing that Jim had noticing some of Kate's collarbone, too, "Uh," I started.

I didn't know how to answer until my mother popped a few of my buttons open and saw half an 'A' and 'TE' written across my chest with chocolate.

"We were giving Lucas a bedtime snack and just so happened to get into a chocolate syrup fight," Kate spoke up, making up an excuse.

Lucas walked back out, holding a bottle of chocolate syrup in two hands, "Mama, I found this in your room. Can I have brown milk?" He spoke up, pleading eyes glancing around the room.

Jim raised his eyebrows at us and tried to sustain a laugh.

I remembered the first time I met him so well at that moment.

_"I.. Uh, read your latest book," He spoke up, pointing at me._

_"Oh." I smiled._

_"Naked Heat," He told me._

_"Oh! Uh, although my books are grounded... In reality, a lot of the aspects of them are just pure fantasy" I smiled lightly, then realizing how bad that sounded after he stared at me, "Not my- Not my personal fantasies," I stuttered, "Just out of my imagination," He continued to stare at me with an "Uh-huh" look, "- Not that I'm imagining that all the time, I just," His face became more confused but looked as if he were trying not to laugh at my fear, "I'm not doing a very good job at explaining myself." I finished in defeat. _

_He smiled, "I think you're doing just fine, Rick."_

_I kept a straight face, "You're too kind."_

_Man, I had never gotten so nervous around a girl's father before, other than the couple of girlfriends from high school, but it was never nearly this bad._

I leaned down, grabbing the bottle from him and pulling him towards the kitchen to give him some milk in a bottle.

"Well, I'm happy to see you two made up," Martha and Jim said in union from the living room where Kate was practically held hostage with them.

I shook his bottle and handed it to him while he sat at the table.

"Papa, cheeros." He smiled, pointing at the box of Cheerios on top of the fridge.

I grabbed the box, pouring some into his bowl and carrying it to the living room to greet Kate and the two elders in her hotel living room.

* * *

"So, when are you going to get your own place, Katie?" Jim was asking when I walked in with Lucas on my heels.

"I'm thinking about it. I still work at the Precinct and hopefully I can try to get Rick to let me have my old apartment back." She answered, twirling a strand of hair in between her fingers.

"Speaking of which, I meant to tell you that the other day. I'll help you move into it with Lucas and whenever you want, you can stay at the loft," I smiled and put the bowl on the floor next to Lucas.

"We can go to your house, Papa?" Lucas chirped, sticking a Cheerio into his mouth.

"Mhm," I tussled his hair, nodding.

"Yay!" He grinned, throwing a victory arm into the air and looking at Jim, "Grandpa, can we go to the park?" Lucas asked.

Jim nodded at him, "Sure, and we can bring your grandmother, too." He smiled.

Lucas gave a Cheshire cat grin and continued throwing cereal into his mouth, happier than ever to be going to the park.

I continued to looked at Kate who was now grinning between her father and our son.

Lucas looked at Kate and popped another Cheerio into his mouth before flattening out his hand, pressing it to his mouth and blowing her an adorable kiss.

She giggled and pretended to catch it and stuff it in my dress shirt pocket.

My mother laughed and stared at him, "Lucas, Darling, where'd you get that from?" She asked.

He mocked my smile and pointed in my direction, "Papa did it to Mama," He giggled feverishly, "A loooooong time ago." He added.

I roared with laughter, remembering when I did that in the beginning of being with Kate again.

* * *

I walked up with Kate's hand in my own, "Lucas, get ready to go, Grandpa and Grandma are leaving and we have to go home," I looked at him playing in the sandbox.

"Papa, just five more minutes?" He pouted.

Kate shrugged and let go of my hand to meet our parents.

"Fine," I leaned down to help him finish his sandcastle.

"It's done!" He grinned, sand in his silky brown hair, his green eyes shining up at me, his arms above his head, rubbing his sandy hair.

"Let me take a picture for Mama," I stood up, patting my slacks to take the sand off that he had thrown at me playfully.

I reached in my pocket, realizing Kate had my phone.

Kate walked up, noticing what I was looking for but before handing it back she spoke up, "Sit next to him."

I obediently sat beside my son, putting an arm around him and smiling down at him, making sure not to knock down his castle.

I heard a clicking noise.

"_Kate_," I whined, "I wasn't ready!"

"Don't be such a baby. Now, look up and smile for the camera, boys!" She grinned.

I grinned, my smiled spreading across my face.

Lucas mimicked me and gave a cheeky smile, showing his tiny white teeth.

I heard a few clicks of my iPhone and stood up, taking Lucas with me and passing him to Kate.

I took the iPhone from her and grinned at the photos, "I'll print these out later on."

* * *

**I know, this chapter is short and it's been short for a while, but I wanted a really cute and sexy scene with Caskett and I wanted a cute moment with Lucas and his grandparents. **

**I just need some inspiration on my chapters. I'm really looking forward to the season finale, but I don't know what I'm going to do with myself for a whole summer except doing online and AP work.**

**Oh! And before I forget, go check out my newest story, "Papers". I want to let you all know that it's a different type of story.**

**Castle's abusive in the first chapter and then starts straightening up his life when he sees Kate and his child. He's pretty much trying to get them back and get the love of his life back.**

**It's not something I'm used to writing but I wrote it back in middle school (not with Castle characters. It was with imaginary people and I had to change it up from their original jobs of Castle's character (in my original story: William) being a firefighter and Kate's (Original character: Melaine) being a nurse. I obviously had to change that to writer and homicide detective) And another sidenote, the story is a Caskett story. I'm a full on Caskett Shipper but I thought it would be nice to see a different side to Castle. It's a little scary, too. It kind of takes a mind of it's own, really. **

**I would love it if you all checked it out and left a review. I am going to continue it but unlike that story, it'll probably only be like 30 chapters long, while this one will reach around 50-100 depending on how many reviews I get, etc. **

**Anyway, leave a review, please (When you have the time) and continue reading my stories if you enjoy them :)**

**If you have the time, leave a nice little comment or constructive criticism. I love all the reviews I can get and I take them into consideration :D Love you all! Happy reading :* **


	29. Chapter 29: Motherly Instincts

**Chapter 29: Motherly Instincts **

I actually listened to the song Lullaby by Sia just because I enjoyed the smooth flow of the song. It doesn't really inspire the chapter too much. I just love Sia's voice and the song itself. Check it out if you please. 

* * *

_Lucas mimicked me and gave a cheeky smile, showing his tiny white teeth._

_I heard a few clicks of my iPhone and stood up, taking Lucas with me and passing him to Kate._

_I took the iPhone from her and grinned at the photos, "I'll print these out later on."_

* * *

**K POV **

I stared at the murder board with a blank expression.

Javi and Ryan would probably trying to find any leads on the Armstrong case.

I couldn't grasp the fact that though Victoria was beaten with a bat (and that should've made our case an easy one), she could have so many people in her life that had a stable alibi, but nobody with an unstable one. Maybe we weren't looking in the correct direction?

Castle waltzed his way over to my side, a coffee in one hand and a bear claw in the other. He handed it to me, brushing his hand across my own, his eyes beaming down at me with a small smile.

I continued to stare at the board, barely glancing at Castle as he noisily slurped his coffee, holding it in his right hand, staring at the board.

"Castle, could you cut the orchestra of noises you're making with your mouth and that coffee for now?" I snapped, the agitation in my voice was obvious. If all else failed, I knew he'd listen just by the sound of venom in my voice.

"I'm sorry, dear Detective." He apologized with a teasing grin, he stopped slurping so loudly and blew at the top of the container to cool it down.

His collar was popped open like usual, showing the skin underneath, which caused my mind to go from murder to the bedroom – something that I didn't need to be thinking about at this moment. His thick hair fluffily went across his forehead. It practically screamed 'New Haircut, please!' Castle's hair was getting out of control – not that I didn't like it. Especially pulling on it during sex. God, get it together, Beckett – to the point of it just doing its own thing.

I continued to steal a glance or two from my peripheral vision, letting my mouth form into a small smile every time his lower lip pushed outward with his forehead crinkling as he thought of one of his famous new theories.

Esposito rushed in with a manila folder at hand, "Beckett!" He called out, smoothing his shirt out slightly to present himself.

I snapped my head in his direction, "What'cha got for me, Espo?" I turned my body to face him, glancing at the manila folder he was now opening.

Rick's head made its way between our own as his eyes scanned the paper, "Someone found a bag of fingers in Manhattan?" Castle asked disgusted but chuckled at such a weird way of killing someone; it was almost like this killer was playing a game.

Disgusting but not enough to not be excited about such a horrifying case this was turning into and on top of that, we had another case to add to the mix.

Castle had finished reading it before I had and the only reason I knew this was because he leaned away from us to start contemplating the reasoning behind such a weird murder.

_Damn his amazing reading skills._

I guess that's why he had an eye for editing and finishing books so damn fast, I thought to myself.

"Who's our victim?" I continued scanning the paper trying to find the name.

"Well, since it's only fingers, we don't have one yet. In fact, we don't have a body either. Apparently, Ryan thinks that if there was a random bag of fingers, there has to be more bags laying around the city." He closed the folder and tucked it under his arm to make quotation marks as he told us what Ryan was insisting.

"Is Lanie fingerprinting the evidence from the bag?" I questioned, trying to get as much information as possible before going back to see why Armstrong was killed.

"I just handed her the bag. You're welcome to go check it out. Especially since Castle's practically jumping off the walls at the thought of such an "exciting" case, like always." His head nodded in the direction of Castle, who was now standing by the board hopping up and down like a jitterbug.

* * *

We made our way through the hallway, turning the corner with Castle stepping on my heel every other second (his excitement was getting the best of him), and meeting Lanie in the death smelling autopsy room.

"Hey, girl." Lanie greeted with a smile.

She placed her clipboard on the table and made her way to the plastic bag atop the metal table.

I greeted her back, smiling.

"Hey, Lanie!" Castle chirped from behind, poking his head over my shoulder as if he wasn't tall enough.

"Hi, Castle." She rolled her eyes at his comical way of making himself obvious, not that he didn't stand out already.

I slowly made my eye continue reach Castle.

He continued to grin at the M.E, hoping that she'd spit out any more details for the case.

"So, what do we have on this Jon Doe?" I walked to her side, snapping on a pair of gloves.

She put on her elastic gloves, letting them snap into place before grabbing on of the fingers from the bag and showing the fingernails, "You see this?"

Castle walked to our side, slipping a pair of goggles over his head, "What about it?"

His eyebrows knitting together, his mouth agape, and the small wrinkles on his forehead showing through his confusion.

She let her fingers point to underneath the nail, "There are traces of arsenic," she began.

"Arsenic? As in the element?" My eyebrows furrowed as I continued to watch her explain the reasoning behind the black spots on the bottom of the fingers.

"You see, only people who work with arsenic can actually get a hold of it," she placed the finger back into the bag, "So, it's not that hard to find someone with that connection. However, I did get a match on the fingerprints. Our victim is a Ms. Stephanie Cruz."

"But, the fingers looked more like a man's," Castle protested.

He reached his arm out to grab hold of the bag, but Lanie made her way to his arm before he was even an inch away. Her hand swatted his own, making him wince and pull it back immediately to hold in his other hand, that was now rubbing small circles into it to make the numbness go away.

Lanie shot him a glare, "I know what I'm doing, Castle. The arsenic probably caused the fingers to swell up, or there was a sign of struggle before getting cut into pieces and being stuffed into a bag."

"What about Victoria?" I asked, muffling a laugh at the fact that he was scared shitless at Lanie's expression and daring tone.

"Oh! Girl, let me tell you something," Lanie made her way to the table allotted by the table with fingers, "I found something that I must've missed before."

"And what exactly is that?" Castle asked.

He trailed behind her, keeping arm distance away just in case he were to piss her off enough to get hit in the chest by the much smaller woman holding a dead woman's arm.

"Well, Mr. Castle, I found the same traces of arsenic on Victoria's fingernails. However, there is also a sign of struggle that I didn't notice at the crime scene. Her fingernails are torn slightly, showing that she must've been trying to dig her way out of something." Lanie continued to show the ridges on the tip of her nails with her pen as a guide.

"Or she could've been trying to dig her way out of somewhere?" I suggested the question.

"Maybe the same person was trying to fool us into thinking that he wasn't the one who killed Cruz because serial killers usually do the same thing for every murder. He was trying to throw us off. And maybe, just maybe, they were trying to get us to go in an opposite direction, but this killer could have some type of connection to these two." Castle finally threw his famous theory out in the open.

_And well be damned, it wasn't half bad._ It actually made sense and had a legitimate reasoning. However, what exactly would cause someone to kill another person in such different ways.

"What exactly caused these two to get arsenic on their hands?" He couldn't help but asking.

"Well, Victoria had something in her system when I cut her open. It seems to be a type of chocolate, which the killer must've given h-." Lanie was trying to explain until she heard a squeak.

Castle covered his mouth with the tips of his fingers apologetically and innocently, "It sounds so much like Chocolate for Your Sweetheart," he explained. After moments of our blank expressions, he continued with a sigh, "Long story short, it dealt with an affair and a crazy mistress. So, what I'm trying to say is, we already have an affair on our hands. It could be her childhood friend." He finished with a crooked grin.

"You might wanna keep grin on because Peter Denson doesn't have a solid alibi." I remembered, thanking Lanie and walking out the M.E's room.

Castle stood in the room, causing me to poke my head from the other side, "C'mon, Kitten." I teased.

The death glare I received was so worth the teasing, "Never, ever, call me Kitten!" He growled under his breath before huffing and following my footsteps towards the exit of the room.

I rolled my eyes and made my way back to the elevators.

* * *

I rolled the sleeves up on the dress shirt I was wearing.

Lucas made his way to my side, clenching onto the bottom of my - Richard's - dress shirt.

I leaned down to scoop him up and plant a sweet kiss on his temple, "What did you do today, Lucas?" I pushed his hair out of his face.

"Lexi took me to the park!" He exclaimed with his arms going around my neck to have better access of kissing my cheek.

"So, you had fun?" Rick asked, kissing the top of his head.

"Yeah, Papa. We built sand-mountains in the sandbox and I went on the swings." He explained his entire day out in one breath.

"Sandcastles, honey." I corrected him, giving him an Eskomo kiss.

"That, too!" He ignored my correction and rather just added it to his story with a crooked smile and beaming eyes.

Rick shook his head slightly with a grin and made his way into the kitchen.

I placed Lucas on the floor to go into the living room to place with his toy trucks that we learned to block out. The alarms of those trucks could be very annoying.

"So, when are you going to move into my place?" Rick asked, biting into his Nutella sandwich.

"Actually, I was hoping that Luke and I could just stay at my old apartment." I whispered.

"You know, ever since we... You know... We never really got to talk about where we're heading or what we are. And that's why I think you don't want to move into the loft with me." He explained his observation softly, his eyes gleaming slightly with a mix of sadness and joy.

"I just don't know," I sighed.

"Well, you know that I love you and you know that what happened the other night wasn't a mistake for me," he took a step closer, "Unless you feel otherwise."

I shook my head, allowing him to make another move forward, pressing his body into my own.

My arms snaked around his neck.

My fingers made small circles on the back of his neck where his hair was located.

"So, what are we?" He asked, staring into my eyes. I knew Rick, although I had amnesia, my memories were kicking in pretty well, and I was sure of one thing, and that would be the fact that Rick is so damned persistent and probably wouldn't give up without a fight.

This man had no worries when it came to being straightforward.

"Why make things complicated with labels?" I sighed.

"I want to be able to know that this is what you want, Kate." He finally admitted.

I ran a hand through the waves in my hair in an attempt to straightening it.

"Well, what exactly do you want me to say?" I asked just above a whisper.

I didn't met his stare.

I had to keep my eyes off of him because I knew that he was right about this.

"I'm not asking you to say those three words to me; however, I do want you to take that foot that's out the door and let it come follow the other one. I want to take the baby steps to get back to where we were before. There's no pressure with this, but it's what_ I_ want. I want to know what _you_ want, Kate." He intertwined our hands, locking them in his and I finally allowed my eyes to fall into the trap of his now baby blue orbs.

"Mama!" Luke cried out in pain, the sound of shattered glass came from within the living room.

Rick's head snapped to the side, letting go of my hand and rushing to see his son on the floor with a cut foot.

"Oh God!" I rushed to his side, making sure I had flip-flops on and scooped him into my arms before allowing Rick to take him to the bathroom.

Lucas's cries banged against the walls of the hotel room.

His face red from the screaming and his eyes rimmed with tears tracking down his cheeks.

"Shh, it's okay, Luke." I calmed him, grabbing a wet towel from the sink and lightly scrubbing some of the blood off his foot.

I had to be careful not to push any glass into his left foot because Rick and I couldn't tell if it had just cut him or he'd stepped on it during the crash.

Either way, we weren't going to help him without being careful about it.

Rick too a pair of tweezers from my bag and tried to take the glass out of his foot carefully.

Luke let out another cry of pain.

I couldn't stand the sound of my baby boy crying, which led to my eyes moistening from the sound of his agony.

"Lucas, calm down, it's going to be fine, kiddo." Rick reassured.

His eyes made their way to see me walking from them both to wash the cloth in the sink, shedding a few of my own tears.

After a couple more screams, Luke began to calm down, Rick handed him a juice box and planted a kiss on his forehead, "See, it's all better." He used his baby voice, which usually would've made my heart melt, but I was in too much shock and pain that Luke was just in pain. Sure, I've heard him cry before and I dealt with blood on a day-to-day basis, but I could never stand seeing my son bleed and on top of that, this was the first time he got hurt that bad in his almost two years of being here.

Castle made his way to my side, rubbing a small circle on the small of my back, "Do we have anything to wrap his foot in?"

My head instinctively went on his shoulder to get a better look at him, "In the cabinet."

I felt a feeling of loneliness as I watched him slip away from me to grab something out of the first aid kit.

Lucas's eyes were still rimmed red, but his breathing was slowly calming down from the jagged, short paced breathing he was doing a few minutes ago.

"Papa, it hurts," he whined, pointing at his left foot again.

"I know, but this'll make it all better." Rick lifted his foot up once again, wrapping it slowly after cleaning it so it wouldn't become infected.

I saw Luke winced slightly at the cool alcohol, "Mama, don't cry," Luke's eyes locked with mine, "Papa makes it all better." He insisted that I stopped myself from crying at his own pain.

* * *

"Kate, you've been quiet ever since Luke got hurt." Rick made his way to my side of the couch, sitting on the floor in front of me, rubbing my knee gently.

"I'll be fine." I kept my eyes locking on his hands, whispering that I'd be better soon enough.

"It was just a little cut, Kate." He tried to raise my chin to meet his gaze with my own.

"It never gets easier. He could've got even more hurt if we weren't paying attention," I explained.

His eyes softened slightly, he picked himself up off the floor to pick me up in his arms and set me on his lap on the floor, "He's a boy, Beckett. He's going to get hurt. You can't freak out every time he cuts himself while playing. I remember how many times Alexis would get hurt and even though I still freak out slightly, I learned to only freak out when it was something extremely serious. A small cut is all he got. He's perfectly fine. In fact, he's waiting for you to go in there and tell him goodnight." His tone was relaxed, trying to get me to understand the basics of being a new parent.

I didn't have him when Lucas was taking his first steps or the first time he hit his head on the floor. Back then I had to deal with it by myself or have Danielle try to calm me down. Danielle was my only friend after that accident and I knew that she cared about Lucas like he was her own nephew.

"It's just scary, is all." I shook my head, letting a small piece of hair come undone from the messy brown curls that were tied up in a scrunchy.

"I know that it's scary, but you have to learn what's worth freaking out about and what's not. He's going to be okay. So, go tell him goodnight and we can continue this conversation later." His lips brushed across mine.'

I picked myself off of his lap, feeling his hands leave my waist as I turned the corner to find Lucas laying on his bed.

"Hey, Sweetheart." My feet pattered against the wooden floor until I sat at the foot of his bed.

"Hey, Mama," his crooked smile made me feel better, "You okay now?" He asked with concern.

I realized Castle was right, I was overreacting before.

Lucas was going to be perfectly fine.

Luke was a strong kid and he'd be okay.

"Yes, baby," I stroked his head, the light from the television caressed his round face, his green eyes sparkled in the light when I reassured that I was fine and happy again, "How's your foot?" I removed the blanket from his leg to have better access of seeing his cut foot.

"Papa made it better." Lucas continued to watch me before reaching his hand out to place it on my cheek.

I leaned into the small palm, placing my hand over his and feathering his face with wild kisses.

I picked him up to sit on my lap.

I left no exposed skin on his face without a kiss.

His giggles filled the air as he pushed my face away from his own, he tried steading his breath, "I love you, Mama." He mumbled into my neck.

I held him closer, squeezing his body slightly to pull him in and run my hands through his hair, "I love you, Lucas." I whispered into his hair.

"Hey! No love for Papa?" Rick whined from across the room.

He ran to our side before carefully tackling us on the bed, Luke let out another shrill of laughter that matched his from before, "Mama and Lucas love you!" Lucas cried with laughter as Rick made sure not to hurt his foot and tickle his sides.

"You better love me, kid." Rick grinned madly, tickling his sides again, "I'm the tickle monster!" He roared teasingly.

"_Ahh_!" Lucas screamed with a small, "Mama save me!"

His eyes were moist from the tears that almost fell from the crazy amount of laughter.

I pulled Castle away from Lucas, pretending to put Castle in a headlock, "I saved you from the tickle monster!" I exclaimed in victory.

Rick stuck his tongue out and let out a breath of defeat, his eyes closed and made small '_Uff_' noises every time Lucas softly hit his side with a punching sound affect.

"Okay, OK, the tickle monster went away. Papa's back." Rick finally said, sitting back up and kissing both of our foreheads.

"OK, handsome. It's time to go to bed." I smiled down at him, tucking him under the covers and handing him a teddy bear.

"I love you." Castle and I said in union, leaning down to each give him another kiss before walking out the door.

* * *

"I am the tickle monster!" Rick roared when we were far from Lucas's room.

"Oh, no you're not. I don't play that game." I glared at him as he made his way to my side like a lion stalking their prey.

He pounced forward, dragging me to the bed and tickling my side, "Tickle monster attacks!" He shouted.

I attempted to squirm from his grip on my waist, "Castle, stop it." I shrieked trying to compose my laughter.

He leaned forward again, brushing his lips on my own.

My hands made their way into his hair, "Mhh, the tickle monster is a good kisser." I giggled against his mouth.

"Beckett, did you just giggle?" He leaned back, resting his forehead against mine.

"No!" I scoffed trying to act like I didn't just do that.

"You did!" He laughed, his hair covering his forehead like Lucas's did earlier.

His shirt was popped open again, his body framed over mine, his hands on the side of me, "You need a haircut." I mentioned as an attempt to change subjects.

"I know I do, but you're only using that as a way of changing subjects. And regardless, you enjoy tugging my hair, anyway." He smiled, cocking his head to the side and kissing my neck.

"I feel like I could tie your hair up with my rubber bands and give you tiny pigtails," I let out another giggle at the thought.

"There goes another giggle!" He kissed my nose and chuckled at the glare I was beaming in his direction, "Just don't do that to me." Castle's face went serious for a minute there, "I don't want you doing that to me at all."

"Whatever, Castle." I pushed his face slightly and making my way to the bathroom.

_"I'm _serious!" He whined.

I rolled my eyes and continued my way to the bathroom to wash up for bed.

* * *

**I haven't written a chapter in so long. I felt stuck for a while until my best friend gave me the idea about arsenic poisoning and it changed the direction of the case. It helped extremely, so thank you best friend c: (his name will not be mentioned because I'm not going to let him read this story! LOL) **

**Also, I got a 5.5 on my FCAT Writes :D I was so freak'n happy. I was .5 off from getting a PERFECT score. To think, that the highest I ever got on my FCAT Writes was a 4.5 and that was back in 4th grade. I actually passed a bunch of the people in my school by getting a 5.5 :) I just had to share my excitement and I wrote a chapter because of it :3 **

**I hope you enjoy it and I hope you all like this chapter. It's nothing dramatic other than a filler on the case and I decided to add the Caskett and Luke moments :) **

**The only dramatic part is seeing Luke in pain from cutting his foot and seeing how Kate reacts with his motherly instincts. **

**I'm a junkie for reviews and they help me write more - with the feedback and all. So, leave a pretty little review if you enjoyed the chapter :3 **


	30. Chapter 30: Sexual Tension

**Chapter 30: Sexual Tension**

The songs:

S.E.X by Chris Brown

Ride by Ciara ft. Ludacris

* * *

_"There goes another giggle!" He kissed my nose and chuckled at the glare I was beaming in his direction, "Just don't do that to me." Castle's face went serious for a minute there, "I don't want you doing that to me at all."_

_"Whatever, Castle." I pushed his face slightly and making my way to the bathroom._

_"I'm serious!" He whined._

_I rolled my eyes and continued my way to the bathroom to wash up for bed._

* * *

**K POV**

The steamy air is thick, hard to breathe; I have to suck it into my lungs.

My head spins, my skin buzzing with arousal as he slides one hand under my thigh, lifting my leg to wrap it around his waist, and I swallow, a little whimper escaping me at the sudden wet friction just where I wants it most.

I wrap my legs around him, my thighs tightening as his hand slips between my legs.

His fingers curl in a come-here motion and I moan, arching helplessly against him, my face pressed into the crook of his neck as I clutch desperately at the slick, wet skin of his shoulders.

The hot water drenches over my skin in waves, scorching against the heated press of his skin on my own, and the tactile overload is almost too much.

"Oh – oh _Rick_– " I gasp, my voice cracking on his name as his fingers hit me in just the right spot causing my eyes roll back at the haze of pointed pleasure.

When he finally, _finally_ slides into me, it's rough and gentle, perfect, deep, aching and sudden and so inevitable that my whole body shudders.

He groans and I gasp, my thighs clenching desperately around him as I take him in, my inner muscles stretching to hold him.

His breath rushes hot and thready over my skin, and as I manage to come back to myself, he rocks his body into mine.

I can't stop myself, my cries muffled into the wet skin of his neck, feeling the answering groan rumbling deep in his chest.

He thrusts into me, my body slipping against his as I moaned, urging him on, my ankles locked behind him as my shoulder blades slam against the tiles behind me.

He chokes out my name in a voice deep and ragged, his hands on my hips tightening as his body rocks into mine one last time.

I come completely undone, the tension and desire of waiting all night was so overwhelming that I lost all control.

The orgasm hits me so hard I can hardly breathe, his name escaping me in a sob, almost like a prayer.

My body flutters wildly as I come, the spasm rolling through my bloodstream in a blinding rush, my heart raced.

My muscles slowly release around him, and I sucked in air, trying to breathe, to think.

I kiss his bare shoulder; feel the muscles of his body contracting. _Rick_.

We stand there, his hands resting on my waist, my head on his shoulder, trying to steady my jagged breathing.

There was no way that this would be the end of our sexing tonight.

Although Lucas was not even fifty feet away, Castle and I knew that we'd never stop this back and forth play.

We'd continue to make love and have that undivided attention to each others' body.

We'd go for a round two or three soon enough after catching our breath.

I didn't even need to remember the fact that we had to go into the Precinct tomorrow and it was only eleven o'clock.

Sure, we'd be beyond tired, but it would be worth it.

It was worth the pain between my legs and the sweat cascading down his face as I dug the tips of my fingers into his back, running my hands through his hair to tug his face forward, taking his lip into my mouth with a small bite, the groans erupting from the back of his throat, or the amazing release at the end.

It would _never_ be enough.

* * *

He inches back on the bed, holding his breath as I settle on my knees, about to knee my breasts with his firm hands, but he stops to stare at me.

His eyes are fixed on my chest, on the pale knot between my breasts.

The scar.

The split second that almost took me away.

He's so in _love_ with me and I almost _died_ – _twice._

The thought settles into his limbs, heavy and terrible and desperate, and he pushes up into me, chasing my mouth, capturing me in a kiss that's more frantic than sweet. I whimper softly against him.

He rolls me onto my back and then I'm staring up at him, my chest heaving, fingers clutching desperately at his arms.

I let out a huff, but my eyes are smiling, my hands on his shoulders gentler.

Oh, Kate - Kate – is what his eyes whimper as he allows his blue orbs to capture my green.

He presses a long, open-mouthed kiss to the smooth pale line of my thigh.

I let out a raw, keening noise as he slides one finger inside my wetness, slow and deliberate.

He slips a second finger in and works me carefully.

My hands are fisted tight in the sheets, my mouth opens in a soundless moan, my face and chest flushed a deep pink.

My hips arch into his hand, desperately seeking friction, and _fuck_ I'm so wet, so _wanting_.

"_Castle_ -" I gasp, "_Please_ -"

He smirks against my heat, slowly flicking his tongue over the wetness, taking his time to enjoy the taste.

He continues to stroke my insides in the same come-here motion as earlier before, speeding it up and then slowing his pace.

I whimper into the pillow beside me, trying to steady my breathing and stop myself from screaming loud enough to wake our son.

As disgusting as it may have seemed to have sex with a toddler sleeping in the room beside my own, I couldn't keep the sexual tension in any longer.

He finally made his way back up my body after the moments of my soundless moans and the small whimpers of need.

He settled between my legs.

His hands begin shaking because he just fucking adores Kate Beckett, he worships me, and now I'm lying beneath him, gasping, and my eyes heavy-lidded and hazy with lust.

He sucks in a long breath, pressing his lips to my throat, and slides into me in a long, slow thrust.

I choke, my whole body seizing up, my pelvis arching up into his with an involuntary jerk that makes him groan into my skin.

He sucks on my neck, running his tongue over the line of my jaw, thrusting into me again and again, until I'm writhing, my hands clutching at his back, my heels digging into his backside.

His body is throbbing, hot, unbearable, and he can feel me tightening around him.

He grits his teeth and sinks into me again, a long, rough thrust that makes me eyes roll back and my body shudders and jerks against him as I moaned, my fingernails stinging against his back, and the sudden heat and new tightness as I pulse around him is too much.

He spills into me with a groan as his whole body seizes up, pulsing and deep and just _finally_, and he has the strangest sense that he's let something go, like there's something gone that's been haunting him for a long time, and all that's left is me, with the scar on her chest that's healed and my eyes and my smile and my heart.

I could sense that he felt whole for the first time since that day.

He didn't even need to tell me how much he loved me – though I never said it back, yet.

The look in his eyes would spill his entire emotions to me.

The way he rocked his body against mine, slowly rocking back and forth to make sure I was fully pleased because I knew that he worshipped me, he didn't do things for his self pleasure anymore.

He may have been a playboy when I first met him, but even after the years of spending time at work with him and away from him after my accident, through the amnesia, he never put himself first.

Sometimes, I felt like I took advantage of that.

I knew that I had, he always seemed to put me first, yet I threw the it's-my-life-not-yours line at him when he tried to save me, or the times I played with his heart during my amnesia when I went back to Josh and called his friends sluts out of jealousy.

And may I be damned, but I took him for granted throughout those times.

I needed him to know that I cared for him, but those three words he mentioned to me so much weren't ready to come out just yet, and it pained me to have to stop myself from saying it because I wasn't ready.

I was never ready and it hurt me to see that though he put me first, I wasn't doing the same.

But, I knew saying those words without knowing for sure I meant them, would kill him in the end.

I _had_ to wait.

I had to wait until I was fully ready to say that and I knew he'd want that, too.

I stared into his eyes, pushing his bangs from his face, "I'm telling you, you need a haircut." I mumbled to stop myself from beginning a conversation of apologizes in such a light and happy scenario.

I ruined the moment with a reminder of earlier that day causing him to laugh.

His head fell onto my shoulder, "I love you," he whispered into the crook of my neck with a smile as he plastered a kiss to my neck, "I know you're not ready to say it, but I just want you to know that."

I closed my eyes in content, bringing his face back up to face mine, "Thank you."

I brushed my lips against his, tasting the sweat that was running down our bodies.

He chuckled against my lips.

My eyebrows furrowed.

I pushed him lightly from me to look into his eyes, confusion dawning on my face, "What was that for?" I questioned.

"We taste like sweat." His laughter filled the room.

His eyes beamed with joy, the laughter slowly faded, his hair falling back on his forehead, the sweat causing it to stick, his shoulders were slick when I slowly ran my hands across them to his chest.

* * *

His eyes wander my exposed flesh, letting his hands run along my toned thighs, taking in every piece of me as if he were trying to memorize it.

"You're so beautiful," he blurted out, all his smoothness gone, replaced with this overpowering urge to repeat it every moment of every day.

My mouth opens in an _O_ of surprise, and I blush, looking down at his hand that was on my thigh.

"You're not so bad yourself, Castle." I tease, pushing him off my body so I can roll off the bed to grab something to wear for the night just in case Lucas were to have nightmares about the talking vegetables he's been afraid of for so long.

Damn that cartoon, giving my son such horrible nightmares.

"I'll take your word on that," he finally says, watching me as I pull a pair of his boxers over my hips and roll the sleeves of his dress shirt up my arm.

I toss a pair of his boxers in his direction, "Whatever, Rick," I tease back, grinning as I push my hair out of my face, "And you should probably go get your haircut tomorrow."

He mumbles something under his breath about how much I've mentioned that today and waits for me to roll to his side so he can spoon me.

"Can I be the little spoon tonight?" I ask, barely above a whisper.

My lip pokes out because I know he can't resist when I beg – knowing I rarely ever beg him.

His nose crinkles, "You know I can't resist that face, Kate." He gives up, letting me face the opposite direction to place his arms around me, his arm slinging over to pull me closer into his body.

"And before I forget, thank you for earlier, you were right about Lucas. I have to calm down and try not to overreact." I whispered.

"I know. You're a wonderful mother, Kate." He articulated into the back of my shoulder, kissing the bare skin on my neck.

* * *

**So, I felt like making a chapter of hot and steamy sex ;) Hope you enjoyed it and thank you for reading my story :) I hope you all enjoy it. **

**Feel free to leave a review if you enjoyed it and leave some constructive criticism if you please.**

**The reviews help :3**

**And, if you have any ideas for the story, feel free to IM me or leave a review, I'll surely take it into consideration :P**


	31. Chapter 31: Lucas?

**Chapter 31: Lucas?**

Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars

* * *

_His nose crinkled, "You know I can't resist that face, Kate." He gives up, letting me face the opposite direction to place his arms around me, his arm slinging over to pull me closer into his body._

_"And before I forget, thank you for earlier, you were right about Lucas. I have to calm down and try not to overreact." I whispered._

_"I know. You're a wonderful mother, Kate." He articulated into the back of my shoulder, kissing the bare skin on my neck._

* * *

**R POV **

Her hand rested against the back of my neck, her arm moved to wrap itself around my neck, her breathing was soft, the small breathing sounds that escaped her lips.

I continued to watch her, nuzzling my nose against her shoulder.

"Mmm, Castle, stop." She giggled, attempting to swat me away with her hands.

I continued to brush my nose on the lines of her shoulder, smiling against her skin, feathering small open mouthed kisses on exposed flesh.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked, making small talk.

Her hair framed her face, the lines of her face were perfect, her chest heaving up and down slowly, and the muffled sounds of a moan into her pillow filled the ear when I nipped at her earlobe.

"Castle, it's—" she opened one eye to look at the digital alarm clock "-only 7 o'clock. Lucas is probably about to get up, we should be getting up to get him, not going for more rounds.

I sighed into her hair, "Fine," I groaned teasingly.

"You'll get more of that tonight," she winked, getting up to brush her teeth.

"Tease!" I called out watching her disappear into the bathroom with the pillow I threw in her direction hitting the wall and lying on the floor.

I always knew she was a tease. Since the moment she said 'You have no idea', I knew she was.

I remember the ways she'd always touch me or put on that revealing clothing just to tease me, to get my head to turn, or to make my mouth go dry.

"_Dungeon Alley," I whispered aloud, staring off into my memories._

_She looked up from the paper and began to explain with her pen in hand, "It's an area between Chelsey and Midtown. There's a whole area of fetish clubs down there."_

_I placed my hands over one another, leaning forward a bit, "Yes, I know where Dungeon Alley is," her head picked up to look over at me; "I want know, how do you know?" I asked, leaning even more forward. _

_She rolled her eyes, opening her mouth slightly, and leaning back into her chair, "Vice rated a few of them, looking for a reason to shut them down," I nodded with a smile waiting for her to continue, "but since there's no sexual contact and," she smiled, "the acts are consensual, the acts were perfectly legal." She shook her head, grinning, her eyes beaming. _

"_Hmm," I nodded, not entirely believing what she had said, "__You should really moonlight," she stared at me with a blank expression, raising her eyebrows slightly, "Seriously, you would make a fortune." I gave a cocky smile, raising one eyebrow as she rolled her eyes and took her stare to the papers scattered on the desk._

"_Come on, haven't you want to do with your handcuffs besides arresting criminals?" I played with the collar of my dress shirt, making my way closer, staring into her eyes, anticipating the answer._

_Her eyes looking straight through my chest, with a small smile, "No," I cocked my head to the side, still playing with my collar and my eyes beaming with curiosity, "but there is one hot, wild, kinky thing," She leaned forward, her eyes set on my lips, "that I do like doing..." I lost balance, falling slightly, my mouth agape, my eyes filling with lust, "…Putting killers behind bars." She spat out, her face nearly an inch from mine, she leaned back into her seat looking away from my shocked expression._

_I was disappointed._

_I cocked my head again, internally shaking my head and my eyes losing all the lust I had to be filled with sheer disappointment thinking she'd say something sexy rather than to tease me._

"_See, you're already a tease, you're halfway there." I stared at her, she looked back at me with a roll of her eyes and small smile, I smacked my hand on the desk before Ryan made his way into the room._

Oh the memories, I reminisced.

I heard the water stopping, she spat the white foam out and poked her head from the bathroom, "When you get out of La-la-land, go wake up our son. I'm sure he's hungry and waiting for someone to tell him it's okay to get up." She rolled her eyes, going back to fixing herself up for the day.

* * *

I watched her flip a pancake.

The domestic side of Kate always got to me; it was such a cute sight to see, such a turn on at times, too.

"So, I was thinking that maybe you and Luke could go out today and let me focus on the case today? You've been helping so much and I know that as much as Luke loves my father and Martha, he's probably missing us when we leave. So, I thought it'd be a good time to hang out with him; a daddy-son type day." She suggested, glancing at me and flipping another pancake.

"That's not that bad an idea," I agreed, making my way to her side to place a pancake on the Deigo plate I was holding for Luke.

Lucas made his way out the room with his pajamas still on.

It was almost ten and he still had them on while he played with his fire truck.

Kate made sure that there were no glass objects in his room anymore; that way, he wouldn't get hurt like last night.

His foot was still bound with the tan wrapping.

He limped slightly, but tried walking on his tippy toes to stop himself from applying pressure on the wound.

"G'morning, Cutie pie," Kate greeted him, kissing the top of his head.

"Mornin', Mama." He replied back in his 'big-boy voice'.

We heard a knock on the door; I glanced at Kate, hoping she knew who it would be.

"Lanie said she'd be coming over since she hasn't seen Lucas in a while and wanted to talk about the case this morning with us." She explained, flipping another pancake nonchalantly.

I swung the door open, grinning and kissing Lanie on the cheek, "Hey, it's my favorite M.E," I cheered teasingly.

She slapped my chest lightly before greeting me back, "You only say that because you love me more than Perlmutter."

I raised my eyebrows and nodded, poking my lip out slightly, "Yeah, you're right."

Lanie grinned and looked at Lucas, "Hey, cutie."

She made her way over, picking him up and raining kisses on his face.

Luke pushed her off of him softly.

No matter what he said to protest, we all knew he secretly enjoyed that affection she always gave him.

I smirked, Luke hugged the M.E tightly, whispering a hello into her ear before squirming out her arms to get his food from Kate.

* * *

She brushed her lips against mine softly, "I'll see you later tonight, okay? That way we can move my things into my apartment."

We heard Lucas cover his face and let out a _'Eww'_ with his tongue sticking out.

I laughed, looking down at him carrying the basket with two hands.

"I love you." I whispered against her hair before pulling apart from her hug.

She made her way to Lucas, crouching down and kissing his nose, "Be good for Papa, I'll see you later, okay, handsome?" She whispered.

Lucas's eyes bright, his crooked smile making her giggle, "I love you, Mama. Catch bad guys." His lisp came out slightly again.

She lifted herself up again after hugging him and walked away from us, "Well, just boy time, now." I cheered, high fiving his small hand.

Luke let out a giggle, placing the basket on the floor, I picked it up and placed it on top of the blanket on the floor, "we'll have a picnic today without Mama" I had told him.

* * *

I ran around the park following him play with the little girls, sitting down and talking nonsense with them.

I sat feet away from them, leaning on my elbows watching him interact with the other children.

My son would be getting so many girls in the future, I told myself, watching him hand a little girl a shovel, "Such a cute kid." I whispered to myself watching my son make castles.

I watched him come back to me, the little girls running off to their parents, leaving us alone with only a handful of children.

"Papa, juice box?" He asked, pointing at the basket on the blanket I was laying on.

I nodded, turning around to grab it, "We'll eat sandwiches soon, too, kiddo." I told him, trying to dig into the basket to grab a cool drink out for him.

"Okay, Papa." He agreed, with a small laugh.

I heard a child scream from behind me, not thinking too much into it other than they were probably playing with their sibling or their parent was dragging them away from something they shouldn't have been playing with.

I shrugged and found the box at the bottom with a water bottle aside it.

When I turned around, smiling to hand him the box, I didn't see him there.

My smile slowly faded, "Luke?" I called out.

It was quiet.

Everyone was gone.

"Lucas?" I called out again, picking myself up to try to find him behind a pole in the park.

I heard the wind blowing, my panic level shot through the roof after five continuous minutes of walking around the park, checking behind trees, crawling under red and yellow poles to find him hiding behind.

"Lucas!" I shouted with my hands around my mouth.

_Silence._

I turned my back for not even three minutes and he was gone.

I started to freak out, the leaves blew past me in the wind, I clenched my hair in one hand and started to fidget with my jacket with the other.

My son was gone.

That screaming - it must've been him.

It was so careless of me to ignore it because I could've stopped the person who took him if I had just turned around to make sure he was alright.

Fuck, I cussed at myself, my panic level still through the roof.

He was gone.

He was missing.

Someone took Lucas.

I threw the juice box down, running to my car and turning the engine on to make my way to the Precinct.

"God, I can't believe this. Please just let this be a nightmare." I kept repeating to myself.

My heart pounding against my chest didn't make it any better.

I drove as quickly as possible to the Precinct before calling Alexis to make sure she didn't see him wondering around and took him home.

She told me the last time she saw him was the other day, concern filled her voice wondering what was happening.

I told her I'd call her back and ran into the Precinct, jumping into the elevator to make my way to Kate because I knew we needed to let out an Amber Alert for our son.

And it was my entire fault for not paying closer attention to my not even two year old son.

Damn, was he smart, but I knew he wasn't smart enough to get himself away from this person.

_Hell_, not even grown women could make their way from someone who kidnapped them.

I wrote mystery books for a living and with the elements I just received, the ending was not something to be worth looking for.

My eyes locked with the detectives in the office and I made my way towards them, rushing, my heart pounding, my hair messed up, my eyes wide with fear and the tears I was holding back were struggling to stay in.

* * *

**Oh, I'm so ready for the tomatoes that are going to be thrown at me right now /.\ Yes, Lucas is missing.**

**Ahh. . I just had to throw that in there. I needed more drama to the fic because we all know the fluff can get redundant and this has been stuck in my head since January.**

**Hell, I was going to have Alexis be kidnapped but then A.W.M got to it first and made 5x15 and 5x16 and there was no way in hell I could top that after he beat me to it -.-**

**So, I decided on having Lucas get kidnapped.**

**Plus, he's still a toddler, I doubt he'll remember all of this in the future.**

**However, you'll have to wait until chapter 32 to see what happens. Mwahahaha. **

**Leave a pretty little review if you'd like :P **


	32. Chapter 32: Ransom

**Chapter 32: Ransom**

There's this intense epic music on Youtube that really got me into the mood of the chapter. It's fast paced and when you read this, it gets your blood pumping and you feel the pain. Check it out if you want:

1-Hour Epic Music | Two Steps From Hell Vol. 3

^^^ That's the name of the video.

* * *

_I wrote mystery books for a living and with the elements I just received, the ending was not something to be worth looking for._

_My eyes locked with the detectives in the office and I made my way towards them, rushing, my heart pounding, my hair messed up, my eyes wide with fear and the tears I was holding back were struggling to stay in._

* * *

**K POV**

"Ryan, do you have anything new on the killer or body?" I looked over to his desk, watching as he scrambled through his load of papers.

"No," he continued to search through his papers, "Wait, never mind!" He called out, holding a sheet of folded papers between his fingers.

I glanced at the papers between his fingers, making my way over to him full on, "What is it?" I blurted out.

His eyes widened at the neediness of my tone, "Javi gave me it to me this morning, and it's another body part. Uniforms are canvassing the area to find anything that will find the guy doing this. However, we also received this." He reached in his coat pocket, pulling out a plastic bag with a black tape sealed inside.

"And that is?" I furrowed my eyebrows, bracing myself for the answer.

"Before you came in, it was on my desk, it appears to be a tape from the killer, but I don't what it is." He breathed out, "I was waiting for you to come so we could watch it. It could be solid evidence. Maybe it's a video of the guy doing all this?"

I snatched the video out of his hands, rushing to the office to stick it into the VCR, Castle ran up to me, his eyes wide, his shirt out of place, the buttons undone slightly, and his hair tussled. He looked as if he just witnessed a murder; the look of fear on his face was indescribable.

"What's wrong, Castle?" I placed the tape in the VCR before turning on my heels to fix his shirt slightly, "You look like you've seen a ghost." I teased a small smile on my lips.

His mouth was dry, his hair still out of place even with the haircut he just got earlier today, his eyes still wide, his mouth was agape, his eyes moist as if he couldn't control the pain any longer. He had just been with Lucas, what could've happened.

Then it hit me.

My smile faded, I stopped looking at him, but through him.

I searched behind him, not seeing our small toddler skipping behind him with a crooked smile, not seeing him holding onto Castle's sleeve, not seeing his green eyes beaming.

"Where's Lucas?" I breathed, trying to push the pessimistic thoughts that were crashing their way through my head out. My eyes locked with Castle's.

His mouth still dry, he placed a hand on his head, blinking furiously, he let out a groan of agony that he was keeping locked in his throat out. The roar of anger with himself let out when he turned in a small circle trying to compose himself, "I turned around to get him a drink from the basket and when I turned back," the tears he was fighting to stay within, came out, the tears tracking down his face, he quickly wiped them away, trying to stay strong in front of Ryan – though Ryan was only concerned that my son wasn't with Rick.

Esposito made his way into the room, confusion dawning on his face seeing Castle trying to explain what was going on.

My heart pounded against my chest so hard I could hear it, the crazy amount of thoughts whirled through my head, anticipating the rest of Castle's explanation.

"When I turned around to give him his juice box, he was gone." Castle breathed out, more tears coming from his eyes, "I was only turned around for a few minutes," his eyes wandered the room, looking everywhere but my face, "I heard a kid scream, I thought it was someone else's kid, I thought kids were playing around the park. It didn't dawn on me that it could've been Lucas. It didn't dawn on me that he could've walked away to play in the sandbox. But, when I turned around, he wasn't there, Kate! I searched the park, calling his name, trying to find him, he wasn't there." His breath was jagged, the emotion spilling out of his mouth.

I leaned against the counter, trying to take in everything he had said. I had left Castle at the park to watch Lucas while I went to finish the case, I never in a million years thought that someone could take our son. I closed my eyes, tightening them and then opening, trying to get out of this horrid nightmare.

"_Tsk, tsk, tsk_, Detective Beckett," I slowly opened my eyes, facing the direction of the unfamiliar voice, seeing a masked man on the screen. Were my eyes deceiving me? The man stepped out the way to show a boy - my little boy - sitting on the ground, playing with a small set of toys, asking where Mama was, "Isn't it amazing, how you can leave your son with his father, just to get him taken from you? Isn't it amazing to see Richard desperately grasping for something, blaming himself for this whole situation?" The man laughed coyly.

My eyes darted to Castle's, seeing him rest on the chair in front of the television, watching Lucas play with his toys, reaching his own arm up to the screen to touch it, trying to bring our son back.

I saw Ryan and Esposito writing something down on the paper quickly before making their way out the office to call everyone into the room, "A child's missing! Everyone set out an Amber Alert! Let's go! We need to find Lucas Alexander Castle!" Esposito and Ryan shouted across the Precinct, finding everyone and taking them into the room with us.

I continued to watch the screen, hopelessly awaiting the next words to come out this man's mouth, "You may be wondering why I took your poor little toddler," his hand reached out, touching his fingers onto Luke's face gently, "Well, you see, you have all been looking for me, but I'm not giving up that easily. In fact, I don't work alone. So, to add to this little game, I work with three others. Good luck finding us."

My nostrils flared, my heart sped up, my eyes becoming moist watching this man lay his hands on my son. Castle did the same, he threw his coat on the table, rolling his sleeves up and contently watching the screen with a raged expression.

"You see your husband or whatever the hell he is to you. Hell, we don't know what he is because you never gave him a label. You never even told him you loved him," again, he laughed, the words hit home even more, "He has all that money from his damn books and we want it. We want you to let us all go, to let us free and walk away from this whole thing. We want a good amount of money, too. Let's say," His finger went under his chin, facing the camera towards him and away from Lucas who was now asking more questions, "1,000,000 dollars." He demanded, "And don't you even try compromising to lower that price because I know that Ricky there can pay it."

Esposito watched the television screen go black after a few minutes of watching Lucas wave to the camera saying, "I love you" and the man coughing slightly, "Oh, and don't forget what I did to the other two, I can do that to your precious baby boy, too."

Castle placed his hands on his head, slumping his shoulders, "This is all my fault, I should've watched him better." He kept whispering to himself.

Ryan made his way to Castle's side, placing a hand on his shoulder, "You listen here, Castle, we're going to do everything in our power to find him. I don't care if we're homicide detectives, we'll find that sonavabitch. We're going to find Lucas." Esposito nodded in agreement, patting Castle's back.

I clenched my jaw, this man took my son, he took my world and I'll be damned until I find that motherfucker. I balled my fist, making my way to the murder board, flipping a coffee off my desk furiously.

The Precinct watched before Gates made her way to my side, "Detective Beckett, this hits too close to home for you, let Detective Ryan and Detective Esposito take this one." She insisted.

I shook my head, "No." My voice became stern.

I was going against her wishes.

Her eyes locked with mine, "It's an order, Detective. I know you're having a hard time grasping this, but for now, all you and Castle can do is listen to this man and give him what he wants."

I turned on my heels walking away with my coat under my arm, Castle slowly followed, scared that I'd shoot him or something.

When I got into the elevator, the emotions spinning in my chest rushed out, I grabbed Castle's shoulder, pulling him towards me to sob into his neck.

Castle ran his hands down my hair, "Shh, Kate, you heard them. We're going to get that man if it's the last thing we do. I'll pay the ransom." He soothed, holding back his own tears.

I ignored everything he said, letting it go in one ear and out the other. My only concern was the safety of Lucas. I wouldn't be the same if I lost him and I knew in my heart, Castle had died inside when he thought I died, but to have one of his children die would be entirely different.

* * *

"Dad, please tell me this is some sick joke." Alexis made her way to us with tears pooling her blue eyes.

She glanced over him with nothing more than pain; she realized that her baby brother was gone.

Martha made her way out her room, rushing to our side, totally out of character for her, she went from being dramatic to actually crying and embracing us into a hug, "Lucas needs to be here again. He's too young for this. I don't care what you have to do, Katherine, just bring your son back home. I need my grandson to be okay." She pleaded.

My eyes half closed in pain, nodding I hugged back, pulling away before getting another phone call, "Beckett." I answered softly.

"Ahh, dear Detective," I heard him say from the other line, "How're you doing this fine day?" I called one of the detectives in, mouthing that the man who took Lucas was on the phone.

He started to record the conversation, trying to find a location of which the masked man was.

"Listen here, bitch, you better prepare for me because the minute I get my hands on you, you're going to be dead." I growled, the venom spitting from my words.

He chuckled, "Flattery will get you nowhere, Detective-" it was silent, "-Put your damn boy toy on the phone." He spat out.

Castle made his way into the room, grabbing the phone, "What do you want?" He growled.

His eyes softened when hearing Lucas talk on the phone.

The sound of Luke's voice reassured his was okay, "Papa," Luke cried out, "Where you at, Papa?" He asked above a whisper.

Castle almost cried, "Hey, kiddo. I'm at home, where are you?" Castle tried to see if Luke could describe the place he was in.

"Man wants phone back, I love you, Mama and Papa." Luke whispered and blew a kiss into the phone before we heard scrambling to grab the phone.

"Isn't that sweet? If you want your son back, you better get that money to us, or you two'll never see him again." His voice was stern; the threats could kill me internally.

"Don't you dare hurt him!" I shouted into the phone that was pressed against Castle's ear.

"You have forty-eight hours to get that money to me."

_Click. _

Castle handed me the phone in his hand before walking out the room into his own, taking a painting off the wall and unlocking his safe.

"What're you doing?" I asked, watching as he pulled out a suitcase of money.

He placed it on the desk, unhooking the two snaps, glancing up at me as he was counting it, "Getting our son back."

"You can't just give it to them and let them walk away with it!" I scolded.

"Well, what else do you want me to do, Kate?! Let them take our son and kill him? You heard the Gates, 'Do what he tells you', and you heard what he told us, he wants the money and we only have two fucking days to get it to him!" He shouted, locking the money back up in the suitcase and making his way to the door.

I stopped him, putting my arm in front of the door, "I don't just want to give him the money. We're not going to let him off that easily. We'll give that fucking money to him, but I want our son first. I've seen enough ransom movies to know it won't end this easily." My glare locked with his.

He sighed heavily, "Well then, what do you have in mind?" He finally asked, placing the suitcase down and folding his arms over his broad chest.

"I'm a cop, I'll do what I do best and hunt this sonavabitch down; even if it's the last thing I do. We're going to get Luke back. Do you understand?" I placed my hands on the side of his face, running my hands on the side of his head.

He nodded in defeat.

* * *

***covers face* **

**Okay, before you all hit me with tomatoes, I know you guys are hating the fact that Lucas is gone, but you know that it always turns out good in the end, right?**

**Or will it?**

**You never know how I feel about it this time. ****;) **

**You'll have to read to find out. *rubs hands together diabolically* Mwuahaha. Lol. **


	33. Chapter 33: Wonderwall

**Chapter 33: Wonderwall**

Wonderwall by Oasis

* * *

_He sighed heavily, "Well then, what do you have in mind?" He finally asked, placing the suitcase down and folding his arms over his broad chest._

_"I'm a cop, I'll do what I do best and hunt this sonavabitch down; even if it's the last thing I do. We're going to get Luke back. Do you understand?" I placed my hands on the side of his face, running my hands on the side of his head._

_He nodded in defeat._

* * *

**R POV**

I grabbed our emergency firearm from the cabinet, checking to make sure it was loaded, putting it on safety and stuffing it into the back of my jeans, covering it with my polo shirt.

I checked to make sure I had the pocket knife wrapped up around my calf, just in case I needed another weapon if my gun ran out of bullets or I had to cut Luke out of something.

I was going to get my son if it was the last thing I did and nobody would stop me from doing so.

Kate was laying between two pillows, the blanket covering her half her body, another blanket on the floor from being thrown ubiquitously during her whimpers and cries for Lucas to come back home.

She was beyond worn out.

Luke was kidnapped for money.

She stood up half the night worrying about if they'd hurt him during the amount of time we had left until I finally got her to get some rest.

The black bags under her eyes where tracks of dried tears stained her face were very noticeable.

She sniffled in her sleep; even self consciously she was crying and worrying about him.

And this is why I needed to get him back; I needed to make sure he was okay. To see him face –physically - and bring him home.

Money meant nothing to me at this point, if money is what they wanted, money would be what they got, but nothing without a fight for my son.

If I was going to give them money, I'd give it to them with a war.

A tsunami of pain that was buried in my chest would explode the minute I saw them because I wouldn't be able to control the infuriation I had within.

I unlocked the suitcase, taking out the stacks of money and throwing them into a duffel bag.

I watched Kate simultaneously, her body tossing and turning in desperation.

She'd murder me the minute she saw me again.

_We have more than a handful of bodies by the time she got me_, I attempted to make myself laugh with a teasing joke.

To think, this could be the last time she ever saw me alive.

I shook the thoughts out of my head, trying to be optimistic.

They somehow dug their way back in with a carving knife of aching need to hold my son no matter the price.

I was risking everything to get my son back and she'd find that out soon enough.

I gave a soft, heartbreaking smile, throwing the strap over my shoulder.

The pattering of my feet had to be low in order to keep her from waking.

"Mhh, Rick, where are you?" Kate mumbled incoherently into the pillow, her hair covering her face magnificently.

"Right here, Kate." I whispered back, pushing strands of her face away, "I'm right here." I cooed again.

Her hand reached out to feel me, "Are you going to the bathroom or something?" She asked, caressing my face.

I nodded, a soft smile again, "Yeah…. I'll be back. I just have to use the restroom. I love you, Katie." I rested my forehead against hers.

The moonlight shined through the curtains, running down her face, her hazel-green eyes glowing from the tears rimming her eyes, her eyes drooping in a daze of overtiredness, "Mhhh." She grunted.

I brushed my lips against hers, feeling the plump smoothness for one last time before I depart.

I made my way out the bathroom, making sure she didn't see me slip out the bedroom last minute.

Her soft snoring filled the air, the loft was calm, there were no sounds of Lucas breathing, of his television playing Wow Wow Wubbzy during the middle of the night - Nothing.

And for some reason, that made it a little more existent - a little more pained.

* * *

The gravel rocks scrape against my running shoes; I secure the duffle bag and jog to my Ferrari.

I tossed the black bag into the back before boisterously turning the engine to life, pulling the seatbelt over my torso and pulling out the driveway to make my approach on finding my child.

* * *

**K POV**

I rolled over in the bed, rubbing my calf with the underside of my foot.

My socks were soft.

I kept my eyes closed; hopeful that when I finally opened them, Lucas would be in my arms and Rick would be amused with how silly Luke was.

I sighed. My hair sticking to my cheek, the red lines caused from the pillow getting higher to be evidence for the tossing and turning against the cushiony pillow, my body was aching.

I arched my back in effort to stretch my muscles and unwind them right after the popping noises.

I let out another mouthful of air, the bed was so soft, so full-size - Wait.

I reached my arm out to the right side, sensing the cold emptiness.

It shouldn't be cold if Castle was still there – Hell, the bed shouldn't be unfilled if he were there.

Unless, he got up early and went to the kitchen to eat something before making his way back so we could yet again try to find our son.

I gradually opened one eye, glancing to his side of the bed.

My eyes locked on his writing, a piece of chicken scratch on a note.

I grabbed it, pulling it in front of my face and reading it to myself:

_I need to do this. Whether you join me or not, we only have less than two days to get him back and that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get him back over my dead body._

_I love you Kate, but I refuse to sit around the Precinct while this man has our son._

_- Rick._

I stared at the paper, my mouth dropped.

He left.

He went to hunt for Luke without any skill other than when I showed him how to use a handgun or the times he saved my life.

The forgetfulness was wearing off even more, and because of that, I knew he wouldn't be okay searching for a bunch of criminals - psychopaths.

I hurried around the room, throwing on a simple shirt and pants, strapping my stilettos and speeding up my pace to the bathroom to fix myself up.

* * *

"Where's Castle? We just something this morning and we're tracking it down. The phone call was from a burner cell; fortunately, we found it but it had no DNA evidence. Whoever is doing this, knows precisely how to erase his tracks, except for the fact that he keeps distribution us these tapes of Luke and we may have gotten something from Ryan," Esposito threw the tape on the small table, rotating to ask again, "So, where's Castle?"

I shook my head, my eyes set on a dot on the ground, and I raised my hand up bit by bit, presenting him the piece of paper.

His eyes skim it before widening, "He left? You mean he just got up and is going to find Lucas by himself? Who in the hell does Rick think he is?!" Esposito raised his voice, a combination of fret and fury that he fought to suppress came out in a single blast, "He's not Liam Neeson or Bryan Mills! He can't just be taking off to find someone without our help. He's practically committing suicide at this point, Beckett!" His voice rose once again.

Ryan made his way to our side, "What's going on?" His eyebrows knit together, his mouth slightly open, breathing out.

"Dad left, that's what's going on!" Esposito shot at him.

I ignored the fact that they were calling us 'Mom' and 'Dad' still to this day, more concerned with the fact that Castle just got up and left.

Ryan's face fell, "Castle left? Where'd he go? We're supposed to be a team here; we're supposed to go get this bastard together." The words tumbled off his lips with displeasure and concern for one of his best friends.

"Well, now we have to make sure he's okay. Beckett, where would he be?" Esposito asked, trying to think of anywhere Castle would run off.

"I don't know, but what I do know is that he knows just as much as we and we should probably call him." I spoke up, reaching in my pocket to pull out my phone and dial his number.

"Castle." He answered abruptly when picking up.

"Where the hell are you?" I practically screamed into the speaker.

"I'm getting my son back." He shot back irately, "And if you want, we can work this through together. If you just tell me anything you find out I can get him." He whispered desperately.

"_Castle,_" I threatened, moving away from the boys, "You have no former experience on how to catch this guy other than following me around or saving my life. You can't just leave and take action like Bryan Mills from Taken!" I lectured quoting Javier.

"Just help me help Lucas." Castle begged, his throat closing with the need to take Lucas back home.

I took a moment to think things through, pinching the bridge of my nose, "If you do this, I'm sending one of the boys with you," I started, hearing his sigh of relief, "_But_, you'll also have to call in and you're going to make sure not to do anything stupid. I told you not to leave, I told you that I'd hunt these guys down with the boys and you went against my wishes like you always do. I won't have you being killed out there, I'll kill you myself when you come back with our son, but you're going to listen to me during this, do you understand?" I finished.

"I understand, Beckett." He responded with a soft tone replacing his irritation from before.

Damn, I must've been out of my god disaster-prone mind because I knew that the real Katherine Beckett - the one who wasn't in distress because she lost her baby boy to a bunch of psychopaths – wouldn't agree to his dim stunts.

"We can do this, Kate." I heard him murmur after a few moments of silence.

I nodded, sighing deeply, "I just want my son back, Rick. Please, we need our son." I pled.

"And that's what we'll get." He reassured, becoming silent again.

* * *

_Click._

"Okay, boys, let's go watch that clip. We're going to work with Castle in order to get my little boy back. Speaking of which, I'm going to need you to go meet up with him, Espo. You're trained with military skills and we need to try and get Luke as quickly as possible." I stopped in front of him, "If you're willing to do it, I mean." I placed a hand on his shoulder encouragingly.

"Boss, I'm willing to do anything to get my little buddy back." He smiled softly, pain within his orbs shining through.

Gates walked in, focusing on me, instead of telling to me what she said yesterday, she gave a small sigh, "We'll do whatever it takes to get him back, Detective; whatever you need to do, do it."

After hearing about Castle running off, she knew that he was probably giving the gang his money, but also knew that though she put a wall up saying that she didn't care for Castle, we all knew she did.

We all knew that Gates cherished Lucas, too.

We all knew that what she just said, she intended it.

She wanted those men taken into custody and sent to prison for an extensive amount time.

I nodded, looking back at Esposito, "So, call Castle and meet up with him, please?" I asked, my eyes moistening at the reflection of losing three people for some damn ransom.

We needed to hurry up because I knew that the minute I got my hands on those sonavabitches, it would take everything inside of me not to kill them.

Sure, Castle was kidnapped before and I almost murdered those damn Italian mobsters then, but to get a hold of the foolish men doing this to my poor baby boy would be facing someone absolutely different than Kate Beckett, homicide detective. They'd be facing Kate Beckett, mother of the son who they took.

Not only would they pay for the massacre of those two women and whoever else they have killed in their warehouse, but if they even dared to harm Lucas, they'd be lifeless.

And then, they'd realize that this entire thing was worth more than a hell of a lot of money.

* * *

**Ehh. Ehh. I know, this chapter might not be that great .-. Honestly, I only really like the first part of it, but I tried to make the bottom part as real as possible and trying to stick to their characters but because this is AU I guess it shouldn't matter much, but as much as Kate is OOC when she allows Castle to proceed in finding these masked men, you have to remember that she's going through a whirlpool of emotions just needed to get Luke back.**

**Hopefully, you guys understand that and continue reading and enjoy the story.**

**I'm working really hard on this and I am praying that you guys stick on this adventure and review and as drama filled as it is, you like it.**

**I am enjoying writing this dark chapter stuff because of the fact that the fluff at the end - if it ends well ;) - will be ten times better and sometimes writing nothing but fluff can getting boring and not as many views bc it's just like everyone else's story (._. ) Ehh. I hope you all enjoyed it :P **

**And yes, I'm a full on Caskett Shipper and I adore Lucas. c:**


	34. Chapter 34: Hunt

**Chapter 34: Hunt**

I don't have a song for this chapter. It's kind of dark, but saddening for Kate.

* * *

_We needed to hurry up because I knew that the minute I got my hands on those sonavabitches, it would take everything inside of me not to kill them._

_Sure, Castle was kidnapped before and I almost murdered those damn Italian mobsters then, but to get a hold of the foolish men doing this to my poor baby boy would be facing someone absolutely different than Kate Beckett, homicide detective. They'd be facing Kate Beckett, mother of the son who they took._

_Not only would they pay for the massacre of those two women and whoever else they have killed in their warehouse, but if they even dared to harm Lucas, they'd be lifeless._

_And then, they'd realize that this entire thing was worth more than a hell of a lot of money._

* * *

**K POV**

The frame in front of me was haunting me.

The way his minute hand reached up at the camera while he was lying on Castle's torso was completely adorable, yet saddening.

Ryan made his way to my side, "Do you think they're okay? It's been hours since we last heard from them." He mentioned.

I crooked my head to meet his look intently "Ryan, I think they're going to be just fine. Castle has Esposito now. I just hope they call soon. I don't even know we're they're going." I continued to worry for the safety of my….Whatever he is.

I heard a uniform canvassing the vicinity; making small talk with Martha about anything she'd seen when she usually took Lucas to the park.

Any strange sightings, any gang members, etc.

Ryan ran back to my side, "One of the detectives down at the Precinct just found more of our John Doe. Lanie is running it down at the lab to find anything that can help us out. "

I smiled to some extent, I felt as if though I was pleased we might be going somewhere, we weren't going to find them quick enough.

And that was the most awful part.

As a mother, I should be hopeful not cynical. I should be praying for the best and let all the doubts go somewhere else because I know that I told Castle that when we were in the beginning of our relationship. I remember telling Castle to push the uncertainty from his mind when Alexis was taken.

The hypocrite inside of me just couldn't take my own damned advice and it pained me a little more each time I thought about it.

"Let's go back down to the Precinct. I'm sure that Martha and Alexis can handle the questions for now and if we don't go back, I'll get a little crazier. We need to pick up the pace." I gave Ryan the 'come on' hand motion and he followed me out to see what Lanie could be getting with the new pieces of evidence.

Hopefully, we'd have another lead - a strong one, at that.

* * *

**R POV**

I leaned against the wall waiting for the Hispanic detective to meet up with me to continue on his way.

My shades hung on the bridge of my nose as I continued to try and find him.

I felt a smack on the back of my head.

I reached up to touch the pain filled spot before shouting an "Ow!"

Esposito's glare shot my way, "What in the absolute hell are you thinking, Castle? Leaving Beckett crazed in the Precinct to find Lucas!?"

I let my shoulders slump, "I need to find him, Javier. We have to find him soon or he could die."

Esposito's eyes softened, "As pissed as I am that you left without asking – which we all would've protested, so I see why you did it – if I were in your situation, I'd do the same exact thing." He confessed.

I nodded, opening the vehicle doors to let him in.

"Where's the Ferrari?" He asked jumping into the truck.

"Everyone would be able to see me from a mile away in that thing; I needed something less…..Noticeable." I pushed the key in and made my way out from the alleyway.

"Your girl called me when I was on my way over here," I turned my head to look at him when we stopped, "They just got some new evidence. They have a lead right now that they're searching for at the moment. After the numerous questions, she wanted me to tell you that you need to be careful and stay by my side." He gave an arrogant smirk with the fact that Beckett trusted him so much to look over me.\

After the sound of silence filling the air in the truck I sighed, gaining a look from Esposito.

"I have to tell you something essential that I never got to inform Beckett," I began staring directly ahead, "My father met up with me during the time Alexis was kidnapped – although I shouldn't be telling you this – and has been keeping watch. You know, like a spy or whatever." I shrugged nonchalantly brushing it off like it was nothing.

"Anyway, he bumped into me last night during the time I left Kate at the loft and wants to help me. He's trying to find anything he can to get Lucas back, considering Lucas's his grandson."

Esposito stared at me, slightly open-mouthed, "So, after all these years, you've known your father and we didn't know about it?" He asked taken aback.

"Alexis and I are not supposed to tell anyone, but seeing as Kate made you tag along to "watch" over me, you'd need to know who the man following us and giving us information would be." I shrugged again, still staring in front of me before crooking my head to get better access to turn into the next lane.

"Well, I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me this. Is he coming with us now?" He questioned, still slightly stunned.

"Well, bearing in mind he's keeping watch. I figure he's in some way going to get that lead Kate is looking for and keep going. We're running on a ticking timepiece at the moment, Espo." I reminded him.

He nodded.

"I know this is probably a stupid question…" He started slowly.

"Then why are you going to ask it?" I had been agitated more than I usually was and I knew being a smart ass towards one of my best friends wouldn't help.

"Castle, shut the hell up." His face fell and he rolled his eyes. "How're you holding up, Writer?"

My lips formed into a tight line, "Imagine having the one person you're supposed to be looking after taken right from beside you." I whispered low enough to let him hear the hurt in my voice.

Detective Esposito let the mood sink in before I continued, "You want to know the worst part?" I glanced over at his face.

His eyebrows furrowed, "What's that?"

I let out a breath I must've been keeping within, "This is the second time it's happened to me and I couldn't do anything to stop it other than paying more attention." I cussed at myself internally.

Esposito's hand reached my shoulder, "Bro, we're going to find him. We have a lead, we have your father and we're going to get those guys. Lucas is going to make it out alright." He reassured.

* * *

**K POV**

I continued to stare into her straight face; nothing seemed to faze him at the moment.

"_Listen, bitch. I don't talk to cops." The words floated in the air, like a hard memory from when Alexis was taken._

Hopefully this one would open up more.

I had little patience for this man at this moment.

"Where is the boy?" I asked again.

He shrugged smugly, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I leaned on my elbows, still searching his dull eyes.

I pushed a small picture towards him.

Lucas's hazel-green eyes beaming, his mouth opened, giggles spraying from his lips.

His locks were tussled in soft curls like they usually did after a bath, "This Precinct is my home. I have officers here that care for me and this little boy…I will not agree to you lying to me in my own home." I threatened, my upper lip curling upward into a slight snarl.

"I think I do remember him, Detective." He leaned forward to meet my glare.

I was relieved he was finally giving in to my threats.

"The way he screamed for Mama and Papa when he was alone in the room locked in a cage. The way his forehead bled from hitting the corner of the cage…" He smirked teasingly.

My lip curled again, my skin boiled with anger. I needed answers and not to be played with.

"God, I remember him screeching for mercy when we threw him into the van. He was so scared. He's such a small toddler, but so very smart. It would be a shame if we had to kill him for your boy-toy's actions.

My fist clenched, the knuckles turning ghost white, "You better watch it." I growled.

My eyes blurred from the tears desperately trying to escape.

"But then again, we're already playing this game," he leaned back, "Why not, have fun with it?" He chucked darkly.

It took everything inside of me not to snatch out my firearm and shoot him between the eyes, "Why not write a confession?" I offered getting up.

"Oh, but I do have something else I want to tell you." He mentioned before I walked out.

"What's that?" I asked, turning 90 degrees to face him again.

"Well, have your boyfriend and that Hispanic cop soon enough and you might want to tell him now how much you love him."

I snapped.

Montgomery's words let my head in an instant.

"_You're acting like a damn rookie!" He scolded._

I pushed him off his chair, picking him off the floor and smacking his face into the metal table, "You better watch yourself, Vincent because I'm going to make your life a living hell. You and your buddies better keep a close eye because you'll realize this was worth a hell of a lot more than money!" I snarled menacingly into his face.

He tried laughing it off evilly again.

Ryan ran into the room with another officer, pulling me off and holding Vincent in a lock, "Stand down, Beckett!" Ryan scolded.

He knew my pain was getting the best of me, but he also knew that I couldn't be acting this way and letting any of these men see my weakness.

His eyes softened when I stormed out the Precinct to go back to the loft.

* * *

I fell to the ground, my head leaned against the cool door, and my eyes finally shed tears that were long needed.

I clenched at the frame of Rick and Lucas at the sandbox smiling in union like Lucas was a smaller version of Rick.

Their smiles matched.

My hair stuck to the side of my cheeks where tracks of wet tears were unblemished.

My chest ached, my stomach churned, my eyes began to swell with the puffiness from wailing my eyes out.

I couldn't handle this any longer.

Time was running out and I had done everything I could to do it.

We had less than a day left to get him.

* * *

**R POV**

"Hey, son," my father made his way to my side, embracing me, "I found out where Lucas is located. We have less than a day to go get him."

"I don't understand why they took him, though." I murmured.

"By the looks of it, Lucas and you were at the wrong place at the wrong time." His lips pursed into a tight line, fearing that it could be something worse.

Esposito stared at him stunned at the fact that he couldn't believe my father was a "spy", "Yo, Ryan called. Beckett had a mental breakdown in the interrogation room – almost choking the lead – but we have him in custody and know that there are about five men including him." He read off the text on his screen that Ryan sent him earlier.

"Okay, well, what're we waiting for? Let's go!" I looked over at Hunt, "We can do this again, right?" I asked them encouragingly.

They nodded.

I ran across the gravel in a rush to get him as quickly as possible.

They following me into the truck, jumping in and screeching down the road to the warehouse in which my father said they were.

* * *

**Okay, this is more of a "filler" but it was necessary.**

**Anyway, this is going to be a little cheesy right now, but I want to really thank all of my readers/viewers for such an amazing job and sticking through it with me. Last night, my story was shared on instagram (it's a pretty big deal for me) and people were saying it was an amazing story. I legit got a little teary-eyed lol. I was beyond happy that my story was becoming known and others (with 30+ likes on the picture) were enjoying reading it just as much as I enjoy writing it. I've always loved writing and I know that though I want to be a teacher, I want to write books, too. **

**But, this is amazing. I don't thank you all enough for the wonderful reviews when you leave them or the amount of favorites, etc. I am so happy that I have such loyal fans.**

**And if you have an instagram, feel free to follow me: wandawalle**

**And follow the amazing person who shared my story last night: caskettshipper15**

**Also, I made a trailer for the story on my YouTube channel. I have about 4 channels, but I made one personally for my fanfic trailers, etc. **

**Feel free to go look up the user "Caskettcupcake" and search for "AU Fanfic" with my fanfic pen-name alongside it. I worked hard on it and would love for you to see it. ^_^ If you have any questions, leave a pretty little review or IM me. **

**Yo, leave a nice little review if you liked the chapter and I'm hoping to see you again soon when chapter 35 comes out :) **


	35. Chapter 35: Bailey Mack the ME

**Chapter 35: Bailey Mack**

The songs that inspired this:

Enjoy the Silence by Lacuna Coil

(And my best friend who listened to me rant about how much I couldn't write this chapter. After talking to myself I hit an epiphany and found the inspiration. Thank you, Best friend lol.)

* * *

_Esposito stared at him stunned at the fact that he couldn't believe my father was a "spy", "Yo, Ryan called. Beckett had a mental breakdown in the interrogation room – almost choking the lead – but we have him in custody and know that there are about five men including him." He read off the text on his screen that Ryan sent him earlier._

_"Okay, well, what're we waiting for? Let's go!" I looked over at Hunt, "We can do this again, right?" I asked them encouragingly._

_They nodded._

_I ran across the gravel in a rush to get him as quickly as possible._

_They following me into the truck, jumping in and screeching down the road to the warehouse in which my father said they were._

* * *

**R POV**

"Detective Esposito, seeing as you're the cop here with former military experience, I suggest you take the lead." He loaded the gun, handing it to the Hispanic detective.

"How much longer do we have?" I spoke up after several minutes.

"He said forty-eight hours and it's been almost two days. We have at least several more hours to go and we need to pick up the pace." Esposito had his eyes set on the gun in his hands.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, "This is taking so long, we have no leads and we're getting nowhere." I sighed heavily.

"Son, we're doing everything in our power to get him back. And may I remind you that I know Lucas's exact location." He was trying to explain that everything would be okay, but it just went through one ear and out the other.

I sat down on the tailgate staring at the hues of orange as the sun started to set.

The cool air brushed against my face with a gentle hand of reassurance.

I missed Beckett.

I missed the way she would bring Lucas on her hip and set him on the ground in front of me – his bangs covering his forehead, much like my own – to play with his blocks.

His birthday was only a month and a half away at this point and we still had yet to plan for it.

I let my eyes shut closed, allowing them to twitch under my eyelids as I pictured his face.

His green eyes that had that sparkling hue of blue, the way his tiny teeth – not all yet there – shining dazzlingly, mostly gums showing with his tiny grin.

His brown locks would frame his face much like Beckett's – except it being the length of mine.

His plump hand reaching out to show me the way the Angry Birds would direct and busting into a fit of giggles once they hit the block and crashed down.

I broke out of the nostalgia as a hand was resting on my shoulder.

"I may not know exactly how hard this is for you but I know that you must think this is your fault…Which is wrong. It's nobody's fault but the jackasses who took him." Espo's face was hard, his lips formed in a straight line, but his eyes showing concern for my son.

* * *

**K POV**

I leaned my head forward, meeting eyes with the oh-so-familiar murder board that I had been place in front of way too many times before. I knew the faces of parents with missing children or a murdered sibling. I knew the way their eyes were off in some other land of worry while I sat trying to solve yet another case. I was never able to fully understand how it felt to lose a child because I was the child missing a parent. My mother would've been such a huge help in the moment.

Sure, my father was good at this time, but he wasn't a Johanna Beckett. My mother and I had a special connection that my father never really fell into.

"Beckett?" Ryan waved his hand in front of my face again causing me to finally pay attention.

"Huh?" I blinked rapidly into the real world.

He held up another tape, "This was just sent in. It's for you."

My vision was blurred again.

I snatched it and rushed into the room to play it.

I stared at the dark screen, a blue circle spinning as it buffered and the visions of yesterday replayed in my head.

_"Oh, but I do have something else I want to tell you." He mentioned before I walked out._

_"What's that?" I asked, turning 90 degrees to face him again._

_"We'll have your boyfriend and that Hispanic cop soon enough and you might want to tell him now how much you love him."_

He broke me out of my thoughts – which I seemed to be engulfed in a lot these past days.

"Hello, Beckett."

My eyes squinted slightly in an attempt to tell myself not to break down again.

"I wanted to say hello and tell you some good news," the masked man had a voice changing machine that threw me off from seeing if I knew him, "Lucas is all right," the camera faced Luke in dirty clothing, a small cut on his forehead like Vincent had said as they threw him in the cage he must've gotten it.

"Also, I see that you had my poor friend Vincent yesterday…Too bad you didn't have enough on him to keep him, eh? That's a shame—" Sigh, "—Luckily, I decided to be kind at this point," a laugh them busted from his chest, "I'm joking."

Lucas let out a shriek. When we first saw him they must have had someone calm him down, but at this point Lucas was homesick, not knowing these people and too little to understand the ransom.

"Shut it, Kid!" He growled, throwing a pillow at the cage shutting Luke up momentarily as the masked man scratched the side of his mask.

My lip curled in defense.

"This game is pretty damn fun… So, I think I should give you another day to find me. I know it's not normal, but this game is way more fun than your stupid boyfriend's money." He confessed.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in.

He just added another twenty-four hours to the clock of doom for I was grateful to have more time to find my son.

"Kate…" Ryan's voice glided in the room seeing my appearance.

I turned to look at him, "We have another day. There's still hope!"

Ryan smiled slightly, "I heard, but…" his voice drifted off again.

"'But' what?" I stared into his face concerned.

"Look at this." His finger pointed to something on the screen.

I let my eyes wander to the screen. We figured the kidnapper was smart enough to black out the windows, but he left a small opening.

"What is that?"

Ryan sustained his look at me, "It's a sign in lower Manhattan; the only sign in New York that looks like that." He pointed out.

"Why would this guy let something that big known?"

It didn't make sense. This guy obviously knew what he was doing. It must've been a slip that was purposely there…

"He's there."

I had two options:

Check that place and find Luke, or don't check at all and miss the chance of finding him.

"OK, call the boys." I continued watching the tape until it went black again.

* * *

**R POV**

"Castle." I listened to Ryan explaining the decision to head to that apartment and continued to listen for the address.

I scribbled the apartment address down and paused to take a short glance at the ink written on my hand with black pen.

"Castle, you still there?" Ryan asked constantly getting ready to hang up.

"Wait!" I called after him before he hit the end button confused, "Ryan, that's the place you and I went to when we had Jerry Tyson. That's the last place we saw 3XK other than the time he almost killed me and Beckett on the bridge." I explained still not entirely sure of what I was heading towards.

"Tyson is dead, Castle." Ryan finally spoke up.

"Beckett thought that, but I never did. Tyson had to show he died by making it public, to put us off guard. The man who has Luke is 3XK!"

"There's no way it's Tyson, the kills he made this time around we nothing like his normal killings."

"That's there to throw us off, but if you piece the material together, he killed a woman first and then he killed the rest of the people. Tyson is a sociopath…This is the only thing making sense. Why else would he want Luke? He's been after us for a while now and he's giving us more time to play with."

"Castle, you're going crazy right now. There's no way it's Tyson because Tyson has a certain killing signature _and_ he never goes for ransoms." Ryan continued to try and convince me that my theory was incorrect.

"Ryan, it has to be 3XK." I breathed out.

"The only way it could be him is if this ransom idea was fake. But even then, why would he have a group helping him. Tyson works solo, remember?"

I let out another huff of air, maybe I truly was mistaken.

"And as Beckett pointed out earlier to me, the first and second murder involved arsenic and was most likely a crime of passion. This guy is just crazy. There's no way it's Tyson. Tyson doesn't have those emotions. It's not him. Let's just focus on getting to that apartment – that is seemingly meaningless – and try to get these sons-of-bitches down."

_Click._

* * *

"Yo. Your dad said he's going to try and see if the location that Ryan gave you was correct."

Beckett must've gotten to Ryan.

It has to be 3XK.

But after that long talk with Ryan, I realized he was right. None of my theory made sense.

"_A crime of passion."_

It hit me on the nose.

"_Dr. Mack, I hate to have to ask you all these questions seeing as you're a part of department. But, do you know of any enemies that your ex-girlfriend may have made in the past few years?" _

_His eyes were dull, "Not that I know of, no." _

_I continued to fix my eyes on his body language, "How were the two of you?" I finally asked, cutting Beckett off._

"_We were fine. I was going to propose next weekend." His shoulders slumped in defeat._

_"But she was taken by a different man. You two were just friends?" I mentioned._

"_Anyone at work that may have had some unresolved issues with her?" Beckett leaned forward in comfort._

"_There was this one guy she worked with that she always had an issue with, but he went missing a few days ago. He claimed that he loved her and she tried staying away from him." He shrugged like it was nothing, but his eyes weren't repeating the same things._

_My eyes squinted once again, "Her mother says Talisha would come home with bruises. Anything you'd know about?" His lying wasn't very convincing._

"_Nothing that I know about. Her boyfriend at the time was too soft for that, but, it could've been Matthew." _

"_Matthew?" Beckett's eyebrows quirked up._

"_Matthew Pentson." He completed the name with a venomous tone like he wished death upon the man._

"_Would you say Pentson was obsessed with Talisha?" _

"_I would very much say so." _

It all pieced together.

I called Beckett without delay waiting three rings before hanging up and trying again.

"Beckett." She finally answered after the seventh call.

"Beckett, I figure out who the killer was and why they took Lucas!" I nearly barked.

"It isn't Tyson. Ryan already explaine-."

"Bradley Mack was with Talisha for almost a year and a half until she dumped him and dated the other guy, and still planned on getting married with her. The Jon Doe that was cut up had to be Matthew Pentson because he was missing and never found again!" I cut her off to explain my new theory – which was the correct one.

"_Jealousy kills…Literally." _I repeated my own words from before again in my head.

"Mack was abusing her because she wouldn't go back out with him and when she tried to go for Pentson as an affair from her former boyfriend and her current one, but it all skyrocketed. He wanted her to have nothing to do with Pentson, stay with him and leave her current boyfriend."

"Mack's clothing did smell of something funky." She agreed.

"…Like arsenic!" I helped.

"Yeah? What else do you have? There are plenty of other people who could've killer her that work with that element." She begged to be convinced.

"He had a hit man kill his girlfriend while he was at work to make him seem innocent by giving her chocolates that he purposely poisoned but made it seem like Pentson sent. He poisoned her with the chocolate and killed Pentson, too. He knew Pentson was with his girlfriend at the moment she devoured the candy and by the time Mack got to them, he took Pentson, chopped him up and continued to throw his body around Manhattan near this small apartment in order to make it seem like the bodies weren't connected."

"It all makes sense. Mack was the killer and the man looking for our ransom. He knew he could get Luke because when we let him go, Luke was in the bullpen playing with Esposito and calling after us. It's like a mega love-triangle gone wrong." She finally admitted.

"He knew us. He knew that I was rich and order to get away from us and avoid being charged for two murders, he tried to throw us off as much as possible to stop us from knowing it was him."

She let out another breath, "Why would he come up with all this and use the same apartment number that Tyson used? And Mack has shown up to work all this week. If he killed them, he would've left." She pointed out.

"If he would've left like that, he would've been seen as suspicious. He's an ME; he knows how to make a murder looks like an accident."

"But why would he want our money and what about the apartment? Something isn't making sense." Her eyebrows knitted together; as much as I loved how cute she got when she was mad, it wouldn't work while our son was missing.

A light bulb went off.

"Do you remember the time we went looking for Tyson?"

"How could I forget? It left Ryan devastated to see his gun out of his hands."

"Mack was on the scene, but looked sketchy. We don't know much about him, but he has to have some type of connection to Tyson. Maybe 3XK really is a part of this. That would cause the 2 sociopaths. Mack was able to hide his emotions because he could fake them…Much like a sociopath does."

I heard clicking on the other line, "Got it!"

I stayed unvoiced to pay attention to what she had to say.

"Mack was old friends with Tyson back in high school – stated in his report of seeing Tyson years ago when the killings started."

"Why wouldn't Mack kill off the boyfriend, though?"

"The boyfriend would've been the target in this whole thing once Mack told us about Pentson."

"So, if Mack needed help with something he'd have a killing best friend by his side." I again pointed out.

"And we know that Tyson is trying to kill you; therefore, he must've jumped at the occasion." Kate was positive, "We're going somewhere with this. Mack is your killer and Tyson is the accomplice."

I nodded, "So, we'll check that apartment. It's the likeliest place they'll be."

Kate unrelenting spoke.

A cold tip hit the backside of my neck, digging into my skin, "You catch on fast, Sherlock. Too bad you weren't able to save the day for your little boy."

"Castle? …Castle?!" Beckett screamed into the phone repetitively.

Then everything went black.

* * *

**I know I haven't uploaded a lot lately, but with the lack of reviews I kind of fell off the wagon of wanting to write. BUT, I got an inspiration last night and today my cousins come in. So, I just had to write for you all. Plus, my summerwork has been keeping me busy and with this hiatus, I only watch re-runs and hang on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Not much inspiration. I added a twist because I know that I can work a LOT better with this 3xk input. It gives me more to work with AND throw this bitch off the Castle world ;) Lol. I hope you enjoyed the twist and _please_ review for me c; It means the world when you all do.**

**Also, thank you to the ones who constantly review AND stay following me and reading on with me. **

**My writing has a mind of its own at times and I need you all and care so very much for you all. Thank you for the love. **


	36. Chapter 36: I Love You

**Chapter 36: I Love You Whether it's Wrong or Right**

Daniel Bedingfield 'If You're Not The One' inspired this entire story.

* * *

_I nodded, "So, we'll check that apartment. It's the likeliest place they'll be."_

_Kate unrelenting spoke._

_A cold tip hit the backside of my neck, digging into my skin, "You catch on fast, Sherlock. Too bad you weren't able to save the day for your little boy."_

_"Castle? …Castle?!" Beckett screamed into the phone repetitively._

_Then everything went black._

* * *

**K POV**

The line cut off. The very last thing I heard was a distinguishing male voice in the background and someone falling to the ground.

"Ryan? I think something happened to Castle! We need to go to their location right now." I shouted across the bullpen. My eyes searched the room for the Irish male, my blood pressure rose and the shirt I wore became suddenly constricting.

Uniforms locked eyes with my panicked expression as Kevin ran to my side in a flash with his gun tucked snuggly into his holster, his white dress shirt wrinkled, the sleeves rolled to his elbows and his forehead wrinkling with concern.

My heart persistent to race out of my chest, the sound of it contracting repeatedly rang in my ears.

"Got it, boss."

I ran to my chair, grabbing my coat and throwing the keys in my hands to the squad car outside the precinct.

Ryan jumped in some minutes later, showing the address clasped in his fist before I stepped on the gas.

My foot was heavy like iron.

_**Ring. Ring. **_

"Beckett."

"Hello, Detective." His accent was all too recognizable.

The voice of the man I wanted to exterminate.

I knew it was either Tyson or Bailey Mack, the voice changer did nothing to cause me from thinking otherwise.

"I know who you are, Bailey, or Tyson. I know either you're one or the other." My voice was a lethal flame that should've stung him through language.

"Oh. I see you and your writer figured it out. Too bad you're a little late. I already have him."

"E-Excuse me?" I stuttered, losing my calm posture the minute he let that information sink in.

"It's OK, Detective. I have a small video for you. It's sending right about...Now."

The phone vibrated in my hand as I continued to steer the wheel with Ryan's eyes cutting into my peripheral vision.

The line went dead. The number was the same burner cell number that just led to dead ends.

I allowed the short time of inhalation to bring myself to clicking on the short video that was just sent to me.

It was Richard.

His face was to some extent bruised, he was tied to a metal chair against the brick wall, and a black bandana covered his eyes and his mouth was opened.

The swollen facial appearance and his lacerated pink lower lip showed that he must've hit the floor pretty hard.

The video only showed what looked like Tyson punching him in his jaw, causing Rick to spit out a small amount of spit filled with blood.

Ryan peered over my shoulder at the stop sign before we reached where Javier was supposed to be after we told them we had another day.

"Holy shit," Ryan breathed, allowing his Catholic ways to turn and go out the window momentarily once seeing Castle spit out the red goo from his mouth.

My vision distorted briefly. Where was Esposito when this all happened, and why wasn't he saved before these men got him?

* * *

I turned the corner, upcoming to a screeching halt before Esposito.

In the matter of seconds, I made my way from the vehicle to Javi's face, "Rick's kidnapped. Where were you when this happened?"

"With Jackson," he clarified composed.

"Jackson?" The lethal attitude dissipated within seconds of being thrown out a loop of knowledge.

"Castle's pops," his tone remained tranquil.

Suddenly, as if on cue, the gentleman from the farmhouse when we were looking for Alexis came to Esposito's side, "Jackson Hunt."

He reached his hand out to find a solid grip on Ryan's hand before repeating the action with me.

"What's the plan so far?" Ryan broke the silence.

"Well, I went to search that apartment and it looks as if they were there. Key word: 'were'. They are no longer located there. However, I found tread marks in the soil over there, examined them, managed to get some of my buddies back in the CIA to run the prints on it and find out what vehicle it was - which we found out - and they even got security on the apartment complex to find the license plates on the van and find the exact location of them now."

The anticipation continued to course over my body while the words hit my face like a ton of bricks.

The sweat on my forehead trickled down my face in a stream, it wasn't even that hot in New York, but like I said, the anxiety was starting to get to me.

"So, that means we're going now?" Ryan whispered.

The sooner the better, right?

"Of course we need to go now!" I practically shrieked, "We need to find Rick and Lucas!"

The men stared at me in a combination as if my tone had startled them each in their own way.

* * *

**R POV**

I woke up, the bandana around my eyes lacking the capability to let me see through it.

I knew the voice too well, though.

Tyson and Bailey conversed between themselves and Luke unrelenting to say "Papa" repetitively as if he were praying for me to get him from wherever he was located in the room.

"You're not going to get away with this, you know?" I as a final point spoke up once my vocal chords allowed the sound to travel from within.

"Oh, Sherlock is awake. I knew that punch should've done something." Tyson bellowed a hard laugh.

"You might as well unfold this bandana. I assume you've taken all of my electronics, and my hands are tied up. I can't really do anything, but you can at least stop being pussies about it and allow me to look at you guys."

I felt as if they both raised their eyebrows at my selection of words.

Soon enough, the light was smoldering into my vision.

It took several seconds to adjust to the beaming flash of lights.

I skimmed the room, focusing on the cage in the corner that held my son - gashed up and dry blood splattered on his forehead.

"Papa?" Lucas whispered with his eyes wide with fear; his shirt had a hole in it from the cage that must've torn it when he was thrown in.

"Don't worry, buddy. Mama's coming to get you. I promise. Always," I whispered back with the guilt of not paying enough attention at the park that could've avoided this entire situation.

"Awe, isn't that cute, Jerry? Ricky thinks Beckett is actually going to come over and save the day." Bailey mocked with a grin at 3xk.

I curved to face him, "You know, we have you all figured out, Mack. We all know the only reason you did this was to get back at your former aficionada because she wasn't going to marry you. She loved her new boyfriend and it pissed you off-"

_Whack. _

The marble fist came in contact with my jaw once again. Tyson cracked his knuckles before taking a swing, too. The feelings of not getting my son back to safety persistently swirled in the haze of my unclear thoughts. What happened if Lucas didn't get to spend his second birthday with us, or with anyone for that matter? What type of father would I be to not have been taking better care of the son I just got after the years of missing out when Beckett wasn't remembering anything? Just as everything started to get better?

As I broke from my thoughts, Tyson grabbed Bailey's arm, pulling him away from the room and going away to calm him down from my correct theory.

* * *

I'd say a few hours of talking nonstop to my son from across the room went by. If we weren't getting out of here soon, the least I could do is try and keep my toddler from freaking out even more.

I wonder if they had been feeding him.

Just in time, Tyson came in with a few crackers and milk, placing them in the cage and making his way over to redirect my face to meet his, "So, buddy, did you bring the money, or does your girlfriend have it?"

"She's not my girlfriend." I pointed out. His face remained stiff as he waited for my answer. I sighed, "The money is with Kate. I'm sure they're coming soon enough, though." I admitted.

His hand pat against my face in a friendly gesture, "Good. And don't worry; we've been feeding Little Luke over there. We wouldn't want him to starve before we got the money, now would we?"

I at a snail's pace shook my head with my lips in a solid line and my eyes showing now emotions.

I watched him make his way elsewhere out the room once again.

Lucas bit into a cracker, "Papa, where's Mama?"

I bit the inside of my cheek before tearing my eyes from his green orbs, "She's coming."

His curls were in a need of combing, but he just scratched it down and continued chewing the small crackers, "I miss Mama."

I lastly allowed myself to glance at him again. His legs were crossed; he watched the small television on the wall and sipped on the straw placed in the white liquid.

"I miss her, too." I confessed, waiting nothing more than to hold him in my arms.

* * *

Another hour passed by, I sat contently trying to watch the show with him, and not worry so much about the two males in the room planning whatever it was they were coming up with.

My eyes scanned the room every now and then, but this time I met the eyes of my father in the small window allowing street lights to beam in.

After noticing the wooden boards across the windows, I found it strange that that was the only window without it being boarded. After dozens of times blinking to make sure I was seeing the correct thing and I wasn't just hallucinating, I allowed myself to interpret his hand signals that unrelentingly pointed in the direction of the door.

Esposito made his way to my side in an instant, keeping Lucas from crying out for his uncle, and cut me loose from the tape clutching me to the seat.

"Where's Kate?" I without delay posed with fret of what the sociopaths could've done.

"She's outside with your dad and Ryan; they managed to get a hold of the guys working with Tyson and Mack. They're dead. Tyson and Bailey are somewhere in the building, but I didn't see them when coming in. They still don't know we're here," he continued to give explanation while helping me out the chair and making his way to Lucas's confinement.

"Stand back, kid." Esposito demanded, pulling out his gun. Lucas obeyed. The cage door unlocked after being shot with. Lucas ran out immediately, a grin on his face, jumping into my arms as I crouched down to meet his clutch

"Oh, my God. You're okay." I huffed into his neck, squeezing him gently, inhaling his scent – even though he needed a bath. I couldn't help the small tears that were now trickling down my cheeks as I ran my hands through his locks of hair.

Unfortunately, the shot caused Bailey Mack to make his way into the room the minute Lucas was in my arms. "Put him down, or I shoot!" He commanded.

Esposito stood up gradually "Put the gun down, Mack."

"No! _You_ put the gun down!" He shouted, waving the handgun in the air causing a warning shot to go off.

Esposito didn't want the next shot to go through one of us; so, he put the gun on the floor and kicked it to the side with his arms raised above his head and his eyes cutting into Bailey's.

Ryan came in bit by bit behind Bailey, "Look, we have your money. You can take it and go away with 3xk."

Bailey turned around, startled from Ryan's incoming and pointed the gun at him quickly.

In the seconds of Ryan trying to calm Bailey down, Esposito reached into his boot and shot Bailey's calf swiftly allowing the sound of his scream to echo in the room. I met eyes with Lucas-who would probably be traumatized for the rest of his life about this needing years of therapy, -with his hands covering his ears and his eyes filled with moist unshed tears.

Ryan cuffed him instantaneously and pushed him to the wall before knocking him out with a punch that he must've held in since he found out about the payment.

The boys made their way to my side and both smiled at Lucas before fist bumping.

Hunt ran in soon after them, taking Luke from my hands and hugging him tightly, Luke squirmed in his arms, not quite sure of whom the strange man was.

"Papa, who this?" Lucas's eye filled with puzzlement.

"This is _my_ papa, he's your other grandpa." I explained.

Luke beamed, "What's your name?"

Jackson's face lit up, he was actually getting the chance to meet his other grandchild, and simply answered with a "You can call me Grandpa Jack."

"Gwandpa Jack." Lucas repeated with his lisp as if trying to burn the face and name into his memory.

The bliss didn't last long, though because Tyson soon walked in with his shotgun pointed at the boys, "You make any sudden movement and I'll kill you all," he threatened.

After several moments of silence he looked over at Bailey, and then back at all of us, "Your precious girlfriend, or whatever she is, is probably locked outside the gate and won't be able to come in time to watch me kill her family."

Kate struggled to make her way in with his side covered in blood from the gate she had to quickly climb over, but she pointed her gun at Tyson, "Not this time, 3xk. I've been waiting days to get you, and I'm not letting you get away now."

Tyson tried to grab hold on Ryan, but in a single shot, Kate let her bullet plummet into his skull.

He dropped to the floor in a thud.

It was over, it really was over.

Although it was probably the fastest killing they had done.

* * *

Bailey was still alive, and would be off to jail the minute we made him sign the confession and allow the D.A to handle him. And now we could finally all try and get back to the precinct in one piece…With a little medical attention, too.

In an instant, Kate was the only thing I saw, everything else blurred out of my vision and Lucas cried out for her.

We made a way into our small family group hug and she kissed me hard before taking Luke into her grasp.

"Thank you for saving us in there." I finally spoke up after catching my breath from the extremely insane scenario we just went through and the kiss that left me gasping for air.

"Always," she breathed out with a small smile forming on her lips.

The boys left us to our small talk to go call Gates and get an ambulance here for Luke and myself. Hunt made his way over not any longer to tell us he would be meeting up with us later on tonight to talk to Alexis and Luke.

After everyone had left and Bailey was taken out with uniforms, Kate placed Lucas down on the ground and made her way to my side, pulling my face forward to kiss me again.

After minutes of the soft mold of her lips on mine, and the 'eww' that came from our son's mouth, I rested my forehead against hers and whispered teasingly, "My lip is busted; I don't think it is okay for you to kiss me."

She let out a small laugh before growing serious, "I know this is a terrible time to let you know, but Rick, I love you…Whether it's wrong or right."

Her face stayed serious awaiting my response, but the only thing I could allow myself to do was kiss her once again. After the numerous amount of thinking she was dead, never giving up on her when she left me for Josh, causing the heartache to eat away at me, and the arguments and hot sex that led up after it, I hadn't heard her say those three words since she texted me before the plane crashed.

The medics soon made their way to our side and pulled us to the ambulance with our son to get us all check out.

And in those moments, I knew that we'd finally be able to live together with Lucas, even if it had it's hard times.

Always.

Because I loved her whether it was the wrong or right thing to do, too.

* * *

**Now. Bam. This is _probably_ the end of this story. **

**A/N *super important. MUST READ, PLEASE***

**HOWEVER, I'm thinking about either continuing on here or making another story but with these characters. You know? Like a spinoff, but it won't have as much angst to it and the 3xk is goneeee. Whooo hoo!**

**I need your opinion, though.**

**Do you all want me to continue the story on THIS story or start a new one, but still use Lucas, Kate, Castle, and the gang. It would be a spin off type thing. More like a part 2 to my story. It'll have a new title, though. BUT, in the description it would allow you all to be aware that it's the part two of this story. I was planning on making this story 100 chapter or so, but the depressing chapters are a little hard to write AND I'm in the mood to start the fluff up and the family going through familial challenges. **

**However, if you guys want me to continue the story here (which I'm not sure of), just tell me and I'll take a vote and allow you all to decide what will be best. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it took so long for me to write and it's been a long time since I updated. Anyway, I'm in need of sleep and the hiatus, my summer work, etc. is making it hard to update. Hopefully the fluff I'm wanting to write will make it easier.**

**ALSO, big idea is that I'm going to start another story up (though I have like 5 lol). But, I'm really taking it into consideration. I also have to write a new chapter to 'Papers' but I know that story will probably be like 20 chapters max. I'm not sure when I'll update that, though. **

**The new story - if I go through with it - will be pretty long, fluffy, and somewhat AU. **

**P.S thank you to all the viewers, reviewers and readers who have stuck with me since day one back in December 26th, 2012 who followed the story and will continue to follow the story whether it be here or in my part 2 spin off type thing (hopefully). This is my first fanfic on Castle and I've had a great time writing it and will have a great time continuing this series. **

**I really hope if I make the part 2, you will all enjoy it, as well. Seeing how much you all love smut, fluff and Casketty goodness. **

**Thank you. **


	37. Update about the sequel to the story!

**Update**

**The sequel is called All about Us.**

**I just wanted to inform all my fans because that's the sequel to this story.**

**Feel free to review and follow the story.**

**The story is inspired by He is We and their song 'All about Us'.**

**I am on chapter 4, but posted the story today.**

**It's one shots mixed together and seeing their story after ILYWWR c: Love you guys.**

**Ok, go. ;) Enjoy.**


End file.
